Pregnancy during covid..would you? (infect, cancer, child, endometriosis)

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

So was my husband - when I married him. And to be honest, he was a hottie till he dropped dead unexpectedly at aged 62. Just something to think about.

I’m so sorry about your husband. Ofc we can’t know when somebody will die unexpectedly. My husband’s mom died when she was kind of young too. He is super healthy tho & so is the rest of his family so I would never base our decision on just his age. He is only in his 40’s. It’s more important to look at health, fitness & lifestyle AND whether both of us want a baby or not…or when we think it is a good time. Maybe never. But I don’t want to go through our lives together thinking about what could happen to either of us……that’s no way to live IMO. We can only face what we know.


edit:

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

Oh, and I had a complete hysterectomy at age 39. Something else to think about.

I’m sorry this happened to you…but I don’t understand why this is something for me to think about. If I have to have a hysterectomy when I’m 39 or ever, I will face that then.

[streetlights99]

@TashaPosh
We were in your shoes in 2020 and 2021... and thankfully this year we are expecting #2...
2020 was when we were planning to have #2 so that the age gap is not much with our #1...both me and my wife were super worried about the pregnancy risk at the height of Covid in 2020.. but that was 2020, and we got vaccinated in 2021, but still were apprehensive..and waited till the end when the scare kinda dropped since Summer...and Dec is when omnicron started...we figured this would go on for a while..and my #1 would be much older than #2 if we don't have it soon... anyway, both of us are in 30s...I'm late 30s...IMO I feel I'm already late and wouldn't wait till 40 to have kids...since I don't prefer generation gaps when they are in high school/college/etc.. .. it makes a big difference in general just IMO and ofcourse with covid..but its already been 2 years now..and its better than 2020 for sure I feel...and we are vaccinated..

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

I’m so sorry about your husband. Ofc we can’t know when somebody will die unexpectedly. My husband’s mom died when she was kind of young too. He is super healthy tho & so is the rest of his family so I would never base our decision on just his age. He is only in his 40’s. It’s more important to look at health, fitness & lifestyle AND whether both of us want a baby or not…or when we think it is a good time. Maybe never. But I don’t want to go through our lives together thinking about what could happen to either of us……that’s no way to live IMO. We can only face what we know.


edit:





I’m sorry this happened to you…but I don’t understand why this is something for me to think about. If I have to have a hysterectomy when I’m 39 or ever, I will face that then.

Oh I was fine with it and still am. I mean, I wish I hadn't had to have major surgery but I was done having my kids so as far as losing the ability to have kids - it wasn't an issue for me. I just said that it's something for you - or any woman - to think about because it can happen to anyone at any age. My grandmother had a complete hysterectomy at age 35.

What you know by the way is the it's very unlikely for you to both die simultaneously. So one of you will probably outlive the other - and it can happen at any time, so it's best to be prepared and yes - to face what you know is very likely.

But I'm not talking about you getting pregnant, because that's not what this thread is about.

For me, there's a lot of peace in facing what I know is likely to happen, and acting accordingly. For instance, I've had a will ever since I was in my twenties. When my husband and I got married, within just a few months, we had our affairs in order so to speak, and we adjusted those over the years as assets changed and kids became adults, etc. I was very, very glad that at least we had all that in place when he died because it was one less thing for me to stress over. I can't take complete credit for that though - my dad was a great example of having one's ducks in a row. He'd had everything lined out since his forties as well.

I am harping on this because I want to encourage you and everyone else to look at ALL of life, and death, and plan accordingly. I mean, it IS going to happen - all of it.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by rfomd129

OP I tried to send you a DM (a nice one : ) but there wasn't an option to do so when I clicked on your name.

I changed it…(for now)….if you want to send a nice DM about my thread.

Originally Posted by streetlights99

@TashaPosh
We were in your shoes in 2020 and 2021... and thankfully this year we are expecting #2...
2020 was when we were planning to have #2 so that the age gap is not much with our #1...both me and my wife were super worried about the pregnancy risk at the height of Covid in 2020.. but that was 2020, and we got vaccinated in 2021, but still were apprehensive..and waited till the end when the scare kinda dropped since Summer...and Dec is when omnicron started...we figured this would go on for a while..and my #1 would be much older than #2 if we don't have it soon... anyway, both of us are in 30s...I'm late 30s...IMO I feel I'm already late and wouldn't wait till 40 to have kids...since I don't prefer generation gaps when they are in high school/college/etc.. .. it makes a big difference in general just IMO and ofcourse with covid..but its already been 2 years now..and its better than 2020 for sure I feel...and we are vaccinated..

Congratulations! Tho you aren’t really in our shoes because it sounds like you had your minds made up AND really wanted a baby. Plus you already had one child. I have friends who already had babies or toddlers when covid hit & that’s totally different ofc. I also have a friend who was pregnant in the middle of it & I know how super scared she was. She had some complications AND at the time they were iffy about the vaccine for pregnant women. She & baby are fine…tho I still can’t hold her baby. So…even stuff like that has changed which is sad. You have to constantly think about keeping your distance for the baby’s health. So that’s the kind of stuff I’m talking about too.^^

I know that covid isn’t going to stop anybody who really wants a baby tho. Tbh, I’m to see a man in the thread so that sounds like the shoes you & your wife were in. I’m happy for both of you.

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

I just said that it's something for you - or any woman - to think about because it can happen to anyone at any age. My grandmother had a complete hysterectomy at age 35.

Both of you had hysterectomies in your 30’s? That’s super young. They are performed a lot less than they used to be…but tbh, I would be more worried about why I have to have a hysterectomy than about not having a baby. AND I for sure wouldn’t wait until I’m 39 to get pregnant….that would put my husband in his 50’s.

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

I am harping on this because I want to encourage you and everyone else to look at ALL of life, and death, and plan accordingly. I mean, it IS going to happen - all of it.

Life does happen…kind of like when I thought I was pregnant.^^ But we can only make our plans on what we know now. I know that a couple yrs ago when we were planning our wedding I NEVER expected to be caught in the middle of a pandemic before we got married AND a lot of ppl have died that never expected to.

edit: So I’m just super happy we have our health. I’d like it to stay that way ofc.

[streetlights99]

@Tasha
Thanks! What I meant to say is we were terrified of pregnancy in 2020 & 2021 during COVID peaks. WHile COVID surge hit highs, my relatives and friends who were pregnant in 2020 were absolutely terrified to go for checkups and yet we kept on hearing ppl getting pregnant left and right irrespective of the COVID surge...(due to ppl spending all time at home I guess) but turns out life went on..... I was absolutely terrified when the surge hit..and pregnancy was the last thing on our minds...it was a definite No for us... now there would be variants every year...so just letting you know, the worst is behind us, and covid is here to stay for long time via some variants... yup..i know, not sure how i got into this thread was looking at something and this caught my eye, so just saw what other ppl are thinking.. haha, maybe I'm the odd one out here... you mean you were shocked to find me here?

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by streetlights99

@Tasha
Thanks! What I meant to say is we were terrified of pregnancy in 2020 & 2021 during COVID peaks. WHile COVID surge hit highs, my relatives and friends who were pregnant in 2020 were absolutely terrified to go for checkups and yet we kept on hearing ppl getting pregnant left and right irrespective of the COVID surge...(due to ppl spending all time at home I guess) but turns out life went on..... I was absolutely terrified when the surge hit..and pregnancy was the last thing on our minds...it was a definite No for us... now there would be variants every year...so just letting you know, the worst is behind us, and covid is here to stay for long time via some variants... yup..i know, not sure how i got into this thread was looking at something and this caught my eye, so just saw what other ppl are thinking.. haha, maybe I'm the odd one out here... you mean you were shocked to find me here?

Well…it’s not just covid peaks to think about IMO but the uncertainty too. Like I was saying up there^^, I have a good friend that just had a baby. A few of us went to see her & we all took extra care to stay our distance & wear masks. Covid has changed a lot & I don’t just mean possible complications for me if I was to get pregnant….BUT the baby’s health too. I disagree that the worst is behind us tho. I hope that it is…BUT nobody knows that for sure yet because another variant more like delta that causes more severe disease in the lungs is totally possible. Omicron stays more in the airways. We don’t know what another variant could mean but I do hope the worst is behind us.

edit: AND I did say that I was to see a man in my thread about pregnancy….but I didn’t mean men weren’t allowed ofc. I’m sorry if it came across that way. It’s wonderful that you & your wife are happy tho. When is she due?

[Sundaydrive00]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

She had some complications AND at the time they were iffy about the vaccine for pregnant women. She & baby are fine…tho I still can’t hold her baby. So…even stuff like that has changed which is sad.

Who is the "they" you refer to? Vaccines were nevered considered "iffy" for pregnant women by any experts. I was vaccinated in early March and there was already plenty of information out there to show that the vaccines had been safe for pregnant women during the initial trials.

As far as not being able to hold the baby, that's a personal choice that many women have been making for decades. It's not really anything new. If it wasn't covid, it would be cold sores, the flu, RSV, or some other illness the baby could catch before their immune system was stronger. I know people who didn't let any non household members around baby for the first 3 months and non family couldn't see baby for at least 6months. It all seems a little much to me. My family will be seeing baby throughout the first few weeks and my husband's family will all see baby at 2 months when we travel to Florida to see them.

I had my booster recently, so between that and antibodies from breast feeding, I feel comfortable with baby being around family. They're all vaccinated + boosted and are considerate enough to not come around anyone if feeling sick.

[2Loud]

A pandemic wouldn't even be a factor in our decision. It's just background noise in the bigger scheme of life. If we wanted kids, we would do it. There will always be some over-rationalized social, economic, or medical reason not to. Just do it if that's what you guys wanted.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00

Who is the "they" you refer to? Vaccines were nevered considered "iffy" for pregnant women by any experts.

Iffy because it’s a personal decision ofc. At first there was concern about its safety in pregnancy & related to miscarriage…..AND other vaccines are not usually given in pregnancy like MMR, chicken pox & live influenza. But the CDC released new data about vaccine safety in pregnant women in like July or August of last year. But a lot of pregnant women hesitated at 1st.


edit:

Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00

As far as not being able to hold the baby, that's a personal choice that many women have been making for decades. It's not really anything new.

AND…IMO it IS new to covid. I’m at an age that I had a lot of friends having babies right before covid & after. When visiting my friends with a new baby before covid, I never ran across anybody talking about distance or masks or not being able to hold the baby as long as I didn’t have a cold ofc. I wouldn’t have thought about it before…now I take extra caution.

[YorktownGal]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

AND…IMO it IS new to covid. I’m at an age that I had a lot of friends having babies right before covid & after. When visiting my friends with a new baby before covid, I never ran across anybody talking about distance or masks or not being able to hold the baby as long as I didn’t have a cold ofc. I wouldn’t have thought about it before…now I take extra caution.

It's funny because . . . .

In the 1990's, my sister lived about an hour and half from me. I didn't have a babysitter - we had just moved from Texas to NYC. My husband had a full time job and a second part time job as well. He worked seven days a week for about two months. I had no backup support.

When her son was born, I asked if I could visit her with my two children under the age of four. She refused to let us come. She said all children have germs so they wouldn't be welcomed at the hospital or in her home. I said whatever germs my kids, I have too. It's not like a virus affects only people under the age of four. She refused to budge.

We didn't see her son for a long time.

It's always been a thing - worrying about germs people give into the hospital.

My husband's nephew came when my daughter was born. He was sniffing, but claimed it was allergies. I was not happy.