Do you make decorating suggestions at your friends houses (shutters, mirror, granite)

[Joules21]

I love to decorate! I'm not a designer, but I think I know how to put a decent room together, and we often receive compliments.

We have some friends who are also not professional designers (but think they are) and hand out unwanted tips and suggestions all the time. They will come over and tell me I have done this or that wrong and actually move furniture or pictures around for us - without my permission!

My question is: Professional or not, do you make suggestions at your friends houses? Or do you wait until they ask your opinion?

Am I too sensitive?

[TheWayISeeThings]

Its in bad taste, IMO, to ever provide unsolicited advice of any kind. Its only acceptable when not giving advice will lead to very bad consequences...such as waking up a sleeping driver before they cross the median or warning someone that heroin use is maybe not the best life choice.

Now I think its okay to solicit to give advice. For instance, I'm a design student. I was chatting with a friend at a party (we'll call him John), and he was telling me that he was having trouble picking colors for his bathroom remodel. I expressed that I have some training and I'd be willing to help. He took me up on the offer. I helped him pick granite and wall color to match existing ceramic tile and a vanity.

Now the rest of his remodel was well done, but he was going to leave the walls white and had a knee wall running around the room. The designer in me saw the potential. So I said, "John, I could throw out some ideas for this room too, if you would like...you can take them or leave them."

I think this is okay as long as the advice giver has good enough boundaries to receive "no" as a reply.

Now I have a friend who is a professional designer, and she doesn't make suggestions, but she is a master at arrangements and she'll "tweak" things on your mantle or on your cocktail table--any sort of display. She does this almost automatically. She'll turn this thing a 1/4 of a turn, and shift that thing an inch or two to the left or right. I have no problem with this, because she's amazing at it. But we pick on her because she does it everywhere she goes...in retail shops, in peoples homes, in dr's offices...

[Ohiogirl81]

Only if they ask. Otherwise I wouldn't dare; it's none of my business how my friends decorate their homes.

[jazzcat22]

I'd never do it---but I have a friend who fancies himself a metrosexual (he's even referred to himself as a patron of the arts----funny since all he does is download bootleg movies!). When he came to my home for the first time, he commented that we should paint the walls a color instead of the builder beige! I was annoyed. While I never have studied decorating, what I have gleaned that in a small condo with an open floor plan, it might not look so great to have different/bold colors. And with the bold artwork we have (big abstracts and Mexican folk art made of wood), it could look too busy with colored walls.

Thanks for starting this thread---I've been wanting to get this off my chest!

[chet everett]

I mostly agree with TWIST above, re:unsolicted advice, HOWEVER I think that among close friends, or even not so close friends that have common business interests / tastes there are different "limits" on what constitutes "bouncing ideas" vs "butt-in-sky-ism"...

Most folks that have known me soon find out that I have sold a lot of real estate and been a landlord, I also have a good grasp of what looks current/timeless vs dated/past its prime. Some folks will ask for my opinions/advice. For folks that I occaision to "view their home through the eyes of real estate guy" I sometimes will say things like "You have some really great space around the fireplace but your furniture is not highligthing that." If I in a home that friends / business associates have recently moved into I might say "There are some opportunities to really amp up the color pallette here." I might even "knock" the builder beige by suggesting that "Now that you have an idea of what the "blank slate" offers you can experiment with new colors." Now there are some homes that really and truly do look awesome in "neutral" colors, and on the rare instance that I see one I generally will say something like "Really this is a great place to stick with the neutrals and showcase other elements"...

Sometimes movies CAN BE a great source of "design ideas" -- just about every movie has multiple highly paid designers / visual consultants that "direct the art" of set dressing, lighting and costumes. Whether the movie is trying to evoke a time from the past, project a vision of the future or provide some window into a current life an astute observer can translate these things into home design...

[Joules21]

Thanks for your replies so far!

I do appreciate when friends compliment my place, and I obvioulsy don't like critisim, and that's why I tend not to ask their opinions. : )

But I do think that they way a person brings up a tip sets the tone. Instead of just doing something, or telling me it's wrong -it would probably be better received if they said something like "the mirror would look great on this wall too".

Our homes are our creative outlet, and whose to say that its it should be one way or another. If a person is truly satisfied with the way things look, then let them be. If they ask for advice - then let loose!

[kshe95girl]

I never, ever make any suggestions unless I am asked, sometimes I dont do it even then.
I would never let my profession get in the way of my friendships.

[SusqueHappy]

Never, not even if they ask.

I only give advice anonymously.

[DewDropInn]

I'll admit to begging one of my friends to not replace her plantation shutters with bamboo roll-up blinds.

I lost.

[Cattknap]

Only if they ask more than once :-)