Is your home shoes-off? (downstairs, exterior, closet, design)
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my wife is from puerto rico (raised there and lived until age 25) and she is the one that cares very much about it. she likes to keep the house super clean. it is always spotless no matter when anyone shows up. i think her mother was the same way, so it was likely a rule for her growing up. so that could be cultural. however, none of our friends are puerto rican and they also seem to either automatically remove shoes or ask.
its older people that dont seem to. things run different in the house than when i grew up. i feel like people were jerks (especially men) and they didnt feel that the woman's preference for cleanliness should impact their preference for keeping their shoes on. when we ate, the women all cleaned up after while men chillaxed. thats not how the show is run anymore.
Well, as you age, you just might run into foot issues, and it’s more comfortable to stay in shoes. Foot pain makes you more than miserable.
I have plantars fasciitis and heel fat pad atrophy. I also have wide feet with skinny heels and a high instep. I was wearing shoes all the time or I simply couldn’t walk. A good shoe that works to prevent pain is a miracle. As much as you can read about this shoe brand or that shoe brand, you don’t know till you find it.
And I hate wearing shoes all the time.
So I wanted slippers and all of the “supportive” slippers use memory foam, which does nothing for me. I need structure. And a good arch, and heel cup. I found the perfect slipper in Haflingers.
But I know from experience, they aren’t for everyone.
Well, as you age, you just might run into foot issues, and it’s more comfortable to stay in shoes. Foot pain makes you more than miserable.
if someone has a legitimate issue then im not going to force them to take their shoes off (i dont think my wife would).
im having about 12 people (6 couples) over for the game of thrones season premier. i will try to take note of what people do with their shoes right when they walk in.
my wife is from puerto rico (raised there and lived until age 25) and she is the one that cares very much about it. she likes to keep the house super clean. it is always spotless no matter when anyone shows up. i think her mother was the same way, so it was likely a rule for her growing up. so that could be cultural. however, none of our friends are puerto rican and they also seem to either automatically remove shoes or ask.
its older people that dont seem to. things run different in the house than when i grew up. i feel like people were jerks (especially men) and they didnt feel that the woman's preference for cleanliness should impact their preference for keeping their shoes on. when we ate, the women all cleaned up after while men chillaxed. thats not how the show is run anymore.
Years ago, it would have been considered rude to remove your shoes when entering someone's home. It would be like asking the host or hostess if you could remove your shirt. You weren't properly dressed unless you were wearing shoes.
my wife is from puerto rico (raised there and lived until age 25) and she is the one that cares very much about it. she likes to keep the house super clean. it is always spotless no matter when anyone shows up. i think her mother was the same way, so it was likely a rule for her growing up. so that could be cultural. however, none of our friends are puerto rican and they also seem to either automatically remove shoes or ask.
its older people that dont seem to. things run different in the house than when i grew up. i feel like people were jerks (especially men) and they didnt feel that the woman's preference for cleanliness should impact their preference for keeping their shoes on. when we ate, the women all cleaned up after while men chillaxed. thats not how the show is run anymore.
Despite your MIL's rules, I would be very surprised if shoes off as a rule is part of the majority Puerto Rican culture.
My BIL is PR. Four generations of that family from early 20's to 80's...…...never seen that in any of their homes.
My last boss and several coworkers in NY were PR...…...never saw that.
My cousin lived in PR for a few years. She never mentioned it and I feel sure she would have as it would have been very different for her.
There will always be women(and men) who have housekeeping/cleaning things that are far outside the norm of any given culture. That doesn't make it cultural in my book.
Different strokes for different folks. When I come to your home I will play by your rules to respect your wishes. I'd hope those coming to my home would do the same.
I agree and I will add that one of the main purposes of good etiquette is to make the other person comfortable. I think people need to remember that.
Quote:
"Good manners reflect something from the inside-an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self." - Emily Post
Quote:
“Consideration for the rights and feelings of others is not merely a rule for behavior in public but the very foundation upon which social life is built.”
― Emily Post
Which is why I would take my shoes off whether I wanted to or not, if someone insisted - though I also think that being insistent either way is the opposite of good etiquette frankly.
my wife is from puerto rico (raised there and lived until age 25) and she is the one that cares very much about it. she likes to keep the house super clean. it is always spotless no matter when anyone shows up. i think her mother was the same way, so it was likely a rule for her growing up. so that could be cultural. however, none of our friends are puerto rican and they also seem to either automatically remove shoes or ask.
its older people that dont seem to. things run different in the house than when i grew up. i feel like people were jerks (especially men) and they didnt feel that the woman's preference for cleanliness should impact their preference for keeping their shoes on. when we ate, the women all cleaned up after while men chillaxed. thats not how the show is run anymore.
See, this is totally not been my experience.
My mom always kept a very clean and neat house. I do as well. But neither of us were ever "shoes off" people - it just wasn't a cultural thing. Men kept their shoes on, women kept their shoes on, kids too - as long as they weren't tracking in mud or grass or whatever.
I have five young adult kids. Out of the five (ages 38 through 25) only one of them is "shoes off" and they weren't like that till they lived in Guam for several years.
Despite your MIL's rules, I would be very surprised if shoes off as a rule is part of the majority Puerto Rican culture.
My BIL is PR. Four generations of that family from early 20's to 80's...…...never seen that in any of their homes.
My last boss and several coworkers in NY were PR...…...never saw that.
My cousin lived in PR for a few years. She never mentioned it and I feel sure she would have as it would have been very different for her.
There will always be women(and men) who have housekeeping/cleaning things that are far outside the norm of any given culture. That doesn't make it cultural in my book.
haha, its difficult to get good generalities because it seems like personal experience is so limited and varying. its not like i go into a lot of people's houses. i dont even remember the rules, i dont even think my other family members in my generation are generally shoes off. my wife takes being clean to a whole other level, she isnt normal. i always just want to to do what other people want me to do (within reason).
if someone has a legitimate issue then im not going to force them to take their shoes off (i dont think my wife would).
im having about 12 people (6 couples) over for the game of thrones season premier. i will try to take note of what people do with their shoes right when they walk in.
I think its polite when being a guest in someones home simply to ask, should I take my shoes off?
one of my friends i only see once a year had gotten all new floors, that was the first thing i asked,
Rose, would you like me to take my shoes off.
and that time of year is coming again.....
and she was just as polite, and said whatever makes you more comfortable.
Well, I'd be really surprised if anyone asked me if they should take their shoes off (I literally can't recall a single time it has come up), and no, I don't live in a barn, and wasn't raised in one, and in fact, I keep a very neat and clean house. So do most of my friends - well, all that I can think of though I'm sure some are cleaner than others.
But if, in theory since in 57 years I don't recall it ever happening, someone did ask me I'd say "Whatever you like, it doesn't bother me one way or the other."
I read an article about cultural reasons in different places and one mentioned feet growing naturally as children. I was encouraged as a child to go barefoot having nothing to do with clean floors and everything to do with foot health.
I still go barefoot outside if I am not going far, and a neighbor friend and his daughter do the same.
We kind of hate shoes! I will say we are the only ones barefoot outside, but we don't care.
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Solly says — Be nice!
