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I can say that many people here are much more outspoken than where I lived previously (about everything). I think where we lived previously people often may have thought things but didn't voice them.
My son, who just turned four, and I ventured to the Long Island Children's Museum about two months ago. It was a pretty short visit, but I was surprised how outspoken people were ... I had just helped him onto a play motorcycle, and he was smiling and laughing as I took a photo, and a woman (probably late 50s or 60s) walked up and said, "What is he a mixture of?" ..not quietly... right there in front of my son and everybody... I just said, he is not a mixture of anything. He is African-American. She then immediately just said oh, well.. I wondered because he has such beautiful skin.. yadda yadda um yeah....
Then we were playing somewhere else in the museum, and a woman was standing right next to me with her son. She said, "Are you his babysitter?" I said no. She said, you aren't? I said, "no." My son was oblivious, but he soon will wonder why people ask things. I said I am his "mommy". She said, "What?" I actually think she was a little surprised because her hearing appeared fine... ;-) I have received the babysitter comment more times than I can count...
Then the final moment was when he was trying to climb up on something outside at the museum. My son is NOT small. He is very large for his age, and a woman asked, "Was his father really big?" Now, again I guess that is an innocent question. However, if he were Caucasian, I wondered if she would ask if my husband were large. Then again... I guess maybe...
This all occurred within probably 75 minutes.
I don't think I find people treating us any different here than anywhere else we have been and probably better than many places. I did feel a tad odd the first time we wandered to a neighborhood playground where there were three ball games going on. The area was packed, and I did feel as if a large number of people were looking at us... Again though there was only one other African-American child at the entire playground/ballparks, and she looked at us as much as anyone else. ;-) It dawned on me that they may be looking just because they knew we weren't from the area because they knew each other.
Right now, for us, I don't notice any more prejudice than I felt where I lived before or during the two months I stayed near Richmond waiting to close on this house. My son and I travel a lot, and of course places such as Hawaii, Texas, etc seem much friendlier than some areas we been to while very rural parts of the south are not cities I would choose to go back with him.
While I realize that my son is a cute little boy now, I realize that when he grows up he will be a very large teenager and in the minority. I just really hope as he grows up that he is accepted and does really well here on Long Island.
Honestly, I'm in my mid-to-late-20's and I don't know a single person that would give an interracial couple or mixed-race or minority child a second glance. I don't even think it's so much prejudice that you're experiencing, so much as sheer RUDENESS. People in this area say anything they want. I've seen some crazy comments made towards pregnant women, or anyone for that matter. They think they're being friendly by striking up a conversation, but they don't realize that by making a comment about something they observe, they're often making an assumption. And you know what they say about ass-u-me-ing...
My wife and I are an interracial couple. I am East Indian and she is White. There are certain parts of the country where we're stared down and other parts where no one really cares (we obviously prefer the latter!) . We're considering moving to the LI area and were wondering about what it would be like. Are there cities / neighborhoods that we should avoid when it comes to looking for a home? I will be working in the Ronkonkoma area but we're hoping to live somewhere that has a nice downtown area and good dining. We're a low-key couple with professional jobs and respectful of all races and religions.
Thanks in advance,
My friend and her husband are the same, and have several children together. They've lived in W Babylon and St James rather happily.
Overall, Long Island is very segregated. I am black and my husband is white so we do see racism from both side, usually with people who are unaware that we are in an interracial marriage. As an "ex frustrated real estate agent", I don't expect much will change when people take their house off the market because a professional black couple want to pay full price for it and they have no other offer. This has happened several time to my clients whether it's buying or renting. On the other hand I have great friends for both side.
I've lived on Long Island for most of my life, and I am a minority that lived in (and still lives) in a majority white suburb of Long Island during that time.
First, to answer your question, if by "racist," you mean Mississippi Burning style racism, then the answer is almost certainly a NO. Second, I assume that by "racist," you mean the traditional form of racism perpetrated by the majority against the minority, in this case white on non-white.
As others on this thread have mentioned, the racism is very subtle due to Long Island's ugly history of race relations. You have to keep in mind that most white Long Islanders are descended from Irish/Italian/German/Jewish immigrants that fled the city to find a quieter lifestyle in the growing suburbs of Long Island. An added "bonus" to this was that they were also able to escape from the black population that was rapidly encroaching on their Queens/Brooklyn/Manhattan neighborhoods. That does not make these people evil or racist per se, as everyone has the right to live where they want provided they can afford it, but it does impact the psyche of the typical white Long Islander, who no doubt sees non-whites moving in as an encroachment on his his/her own personal safety zone. It's human nature, and doesn't necessarily make them racist.
But this culture of white flight has led to much housing discrimination on Long Island. A friend of mine, who happens to be Muslim, once told me that he wanted to purchase a home in Massapequa, which is mostly white. He claims that the owner was ready to sell to him, but when my friend arrived at the house with his extended family, all dressed in Muslim garb, the owner suddenly had second thoughts about selling to him. He said he was so distraught by that experience that he gave up buying a house on Long Island. Even if he had purchased the house, what kind of people would he be living near? In addition, News 12 ran a segment about housing discrimination a few years back, and they had people that claimed similar things happened to them.
From my personal experience, I've heard my white classmates in school utter racial slurs and say racist things about minority groups as if I was not sitting there. I suppose that can be a good or bad thing as they accepted me as "one of them," and thus felt more open to speaking that way. But in general, they were just words and didn't go any further. AS for actual racism, I've never really encountered any. I've had many white neighbors move in to my block, and recently, I had a Korean family and a Haitian family move in down the block.
Call me optimistic, but all things considered, I like to assume that people just want normal, quiet neighbors no matter the color.
dragonchr15, you must be delusional, naive, ignorant, or all of the above. "I've heard my white classmates in school utter racial slurs and say racist things about minority groups as if I was not sitting there. I suppose that can be a good or bad thing as they accepted me as "one of them," and thus felt more open to speaking that way." You will never be 'one of them', especially when they realize you are different than them. Those same brat kids uttering racial slurs have racist parents who never taught them any better.
"Call me optimistic, but all things considered, I like to assume that people just want normal, quiet neighbors no matter the color." Again, delusional, naive, ignorant.. All of the above. People here don't want normal, quiet neighbors no matter the color. They want white, Christian neighbors, with a big American flag waving in front of their house. And don't get me wrong, I love the U.S. and the opportunities this country has provided me. And I have white, black, asian, spanish friends.. Would prob never happen anywhere else..
I'm a minority. Came to the U.S. when I was 8yrs old, 30 years ago! Unfortunately we moved to Iowa. Forward many years after school, college, and corporate jobs.. I lived in Manhattan for the last 10+ years. It was great. Convenience, things to do, a mixture of people of all races getting along just fine. My fiancee and I moved to Old Bethpage just a few months ago. It is 99% white, or at least seems that way when you go anywhere; stores, restaurants, gym, anywhere. The stares I get no matter where I go reminds me of being back in Iowa. In fact, just a couple weeks ago at Havana Central in Garden City we were just fine having a good time and a family sits across from us.. Dad, Mom, 2 kids.. White. The next 30 mins (is all I could take before we left), there were constant stares at me by all 4.. Looking over their shoulder, staring, talking among themselves. Repeat x 30. Every minute. Was it because they were looking behind/over me? Was it because I look like Derek Jeter? I think not. I wish I had a trial period before I made the worst mistake of my life and bought a house in this place. I can't imagine my kids going to school here and have to grow up with the same racism I went through in my childhood.. It's a shame we are talking about this not in Iowa, but in New York, which is supposed to be the nation's biggest melting pot.
There are a lot of racists on Long Island, particularly out East, but there also a lot of non-racists. Where I live, interracial friend groups are very common and people of different ethnicities get along for the most part.
There are a lot of racists on Long Island, particularly out East, but there also a lot of non-racists. Where I live, interracial friend groups are very common and people of different ethnicities get along for the most part.
Interracial couples can be racist. Ask me how I know???
There are a lot of racists on Long Island, particularly out East, but there also a lot of non-racists. Where I live, interracial friend groups are very common and people of different ethnicities get along for the most part.
I may be opening up a can of worms with this one but I feel like Nassau is way more racist than Suffolk.
Most of the extreme segregation on LI is in Nassau. Suffolk is generally much more nicely integrated and there has been MUCH less occurrences of white flight there. Most of the school districts in Western and Central Suffolk in particular have been nicely integrated for generations and have not gone through the white flight that most diverse areas in Nassau have eventually gone though.
In Suffolk, many school district lines are set up in a way where at least a sizable chunk of kids from the nearby minority area gets access to the same education as their white counterparts. However, some Nassau towns like Massapequa dump their minorities into Suffolk schools; and I can't think of any white Nassau school districts that source kids from neighboring minority areas.
However, I do agree that there are definitely more skinheads and neo-nazi types out east in DEEP Suffolk but those people are still in the extreme minority. The racists you see are much less of a threat then the racists you don't see.
When I go to the Roosevelt Field Mall, I don't see too many mixed groups but I see tons at Tanger-Deer Park, the Walt Whitman Mall and the Bay Shore Mall
Last edited by MemoryMaker; 04-12-2016 at 03:46 PM..
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