newbies really need help,how to fit in new neighbourhood? (house, live)

[SandyJet]

I dont trust the folks coming over with a cake. When I moved in the next door neighbor came by with a cake, his wife, his three little kids welecomed us to neighborhood and waived and was friendy.

Turns out they were insane folks that everyone in nieghborhood hated. They wanted to be at my house first before neighbors could bad mouth me.

[TEPLimey]

What a bunch of shut-ins and social misfits. When we moved in, every neighbor made it a point to stop by and introduce themselves. Some people brought some baked goods. When new neighbors moved in, we made it a point to bring them some baked goods and introduce ourselves and give them our contact information. We are friendly with everyone around us and have had all of our neighbors over for dinner/bbq and (vice versa) at some point. I see and wave/greet at least one neighbor a day. We pick up our immediate neighbors mail and take in their packages when they are on vacation and they do the same for us. Obviously you spend varying degrees of time with people depending on their interests and where they are in life compared to you.

First and foremost, be respectful and maintain your property. After that, be friendly as you would in any social environment. If you see a neighbor that you know, there's nothing wrong with inviting them over to watch the game or to have a drink. If nothing else, it fosters an environment where people on the block care about and look out for one another.

[SandyJet]

I tell you what my two young neighbors did recently that drives older folks nuts.

Couple across street, they moved in to a corner house and I am out walking dog and I see a huge six foot white fence going up. The house behind them is sideways to them and only has five feet of land between the side of her house and their backyard. The prior owner was a very old man in a nursing home for like ten years and house empty. So neighbor had light and space on side of house.

So on the six foot tall fence is going up right on property line completely blocking first floor from view. Old lady comes out upset, snot noised punk kid (he is around 35), but to a 75 year old lady he is. He rudely says, I hear this as walking dog. I have every legal right to do it, I check the rules. Old lady was you moved in without introducing yourself and send a huge work crew at 7am five feet from my window to block me in without even telling me is very rude. He just walked away.

Then around three years later I am outside and a huge shed is going up on top of the neighbor to left. I know without a permit as side of the house and up against fence. Other clue was no permits, and workers in an unmarked truck working on a weekend when building dept close. Kinda annoying but this time neighbor did not say anything.

Then two months later same crew is banging away again on a Sunday morning at six am. Guess what illegal garage conversion. Which is why they needed shed.

Old lady and neighbor have choice be bad guy, call town or just sit there why this couple annoy them. Funny is they have same size house as neighbors with only one kid. Who needs it.

[dragonchr15]

Originally Posted by siennasunny

Hi Everyone,
first of all, thank you for read this thread and help us, we really appreciate your helps.
we recently bought a house in north syosset, we will moved into the new house within this month.yeah^-^
very nice area and we are really exciting! but meanwhile we(mostly me lol) are also nervous. this is the house we plan to live,grow our family, have our baby and get old. we are in our mid-20s so this is the house we will live for about 40 years,so we really hope to have a good relationship with people living around us. but the thing is we are young and this is our first house, and based on what we have seen, most of the families live in this neighborhood are older people or already have kids but we are just married. with so limited experence in getting along with neighbors,we really dont know what we should do and what we could do to make our new neighors like us, what's the traditions? do we need to knock on neighors door to introduce ourself lol. do we or could we invite new neighbors to our home for dinner so we could make friends(i even dont know what should we serve lol)....what is the best way to get along with neighbors?
i have so many questions.
I know my question must looks hilarious and rediculous, but I am really worry about this thing and i do hope we could have a good start in this new neighborhood. because sometimes people will judge you from their first impression. and we dont know how things work in Long Island, and both our families live far away from us .so we cant really get advice from them....

-S

Wow....funny you posted this. I just moved to North Syosset as well (right off of Jackson Ave by the train station)! Oddly enough, my neighbors were very friendly. The one to my right and from across the street both came over and introduced themselves when they saw me working outside. I guess their curiosity got the better of them and they couldn't help themselves. (I'm also a young, fit, good-looking guy and they both happened to be women so maybe that had something to do with it...lol j/k)

But to answer your question, I don't know where you are from, but I grew up on Long Island and can say the people are very and nice and friendly, but they tend to keep to themselves. It's just the culture here. Don't feel offended and don't assume they hate you just because they don't come over and say hi. But do understand that they will be watching your comings and goings from their window. When I had my friends over, my neighbor smiled and said, "I know. I saw you guys playing basketball from my window."

I'll echo what others said here and suggest you don't go knocking on doors, but do introduce yourself if you see them working outside.

I should also add that you made a good investment moving here. It doesn't matter what your house looks like because Syosset is a HIGHLY DESIRABLE school district and people are buying up houses very quickly (particularly Asian families from the city....), and when you choose to sell (in 41 years going by your post....), you will have a great return.

[lubby]

Not everyone wants to be comfy cozy with their neighbors. Doesn't make them shut-ins or anti-social. I am friendly with the people across the street. I talk with the wife a lot and we hang out sometimes. My husband says Hi to her husband and occasionally talk with him but they aren't buddies or hang out. I am very friendly but I also like to have my own space.

[OneToGo]

We used to talk to our neighbors.....every snowstorm when we're all out there shoveling.

"This sucks!" "Sure does!" "Can't wait for Spring!" "Here comes that damn plow!" "He does it on purpose!"

[Mumbly Joe]

Originally Posted by lubby

Not everyone wants to be comfy cozy with their neighbors. Doesn't make them shut-ins or anti-social. I am friendly with the people across the street. I talk with the wife a lot and we hang out sometimes. My husband says Hi to her husband and occasionally talk with him but they aren't buddies or hang out. I am very friendly but I also like to have my own space.

This is true- some people (like myself) just like to be private; I value neighbors who respect my privacy. One can be respectful and treat neighbors as they'd like to be treated....but one really should respect the privacy of others- especially in densely-populated places where houses are so close together.

I was worried about this very issue when moving to the very rural area where I now live. I had visions of people showing up at my door with food, and making pests of themselves. Luckily, it turned out that people here really are respectful of other's privacy.

Only had one person come to the house and introduce herself, from around the corner (Which, here, equals a mile and a half away!) and of course she turned out to be a PITA and a gossip- but she wasn't a local- but rather a transplant from another place.

[norman_w]

Don't knock on the door to introduce yourself. They might try to sell you some life insurance or Amway. Thats my dad.
My grandmother went over to the new peoples house and boozed it up all day long on the porch and all the other old ladies came over one by one, then their adult children came to pick them up. Thats how they got accepted into the community. The smell of roasting bell peppers and onions is always good.

[Joe461]

Originally Posted by siennasunny

what is the best way to get along with neighbors?
i have so many questions.

<sinp>

and we dont know how things work in Long Island, and both our families live far away from us .so we cant really get advice from them....

Some interesting responses. The answer is really the same as is it anywhere else. Long Island people are not that different.


Years ago, every neighborhood I knew of had a "welcome wagon." A new person moved in and the unofficial committee would go over with baked goods and have a welcome party. Those days are gone.

Today, most homes have two earners, so everyone is at work (or otherwise busy) during the day. The busy lifestyle also means people have less time to socialize. What free time people have is spent shuttling kids to playdates, soccer practice, etc.

This all makes it much more difficult for neighbors to get together. Of course, each area/neighborhood is different. Some are more "friendly" than others, depending on the people living on that particular block. Some areas still have "block parties." Some areas form groups on Facebook.

The best way to fit in _anywhere_ is to observe the golden rule. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Be courteous and treat people the way you expect to be treated. Don't engage in gossip. Be courteous. Say hello if you see a neighbor. Introduce yourself if the opportunity presents itself (i.e. don't interrupt someone who is obviously in a rush to get to work). Don't run your lawnmower 6am on Sunday morning or 9pm at night. Don't park a junker car on your front lawn. All pretty much obvious stuff.

Most important - be yourself. Don't worry about fitting in. People should accept you for who you are, not who you try to be. If you are a jerk, you probably don't want people to like you anyway. Since you asked the question, you are likely a decent person and will "fit in" just fine without any extra special effort.

That said, there are many people who just like to keep to themselves. With the time constraints mentioned above, many people barely have time for their own family obligations. These are the people who you will waive to and maybe speak with every so often, but don't expect to be hanging out with them.

[SandyJet]

I grew up on Long Island, we only talk if we have to. After Sandy it was like wow we were in each others wrecked houses helping each other, talking and sharing. That ended after three months. Now we are back to ignoring each other.