Has anybody moved back from LA/OC area? (Boston, Orange: appointed, affordable apartment)

[SteelCutOatmeal]

Hello everyone,

I'm currently in Orange County Area (Irvine) and I'm planning to move back to the east coast. I'm specifically moving to where I grew up which is Massachusetts.

I'm planning to complete the move next month as I'm packing everything up, throwing everything out, and have set a schedule for a car transporter.

For some reason though, I keep having this feeling that I am going to regret moving out of SoCal. I especially feel like I will regret not giving LA a chance.

At the same time, I'm actually looking forward to seasons back in the east.

has anybody experienced this as well? is this normal?

Has anybody regret moving out of the LA/OC area or has anybody felt like their quality of life got much better leaving SoCal in general?

Thanks!

[matrix5k]

People from the Boston area move to SoCal and come back all the time. IMO it's nice to vacation there, but I don't think it's a good place to raise kids. New England feels more family oriented.

[simplexsimon]

How long have you been living in SoCal and why did you move there?

Why are you moving to MA?

I moved from the Bay Area to MA for grad school and stayed here for work and family.

[SteelCutOatmeal]

Originally Posted by matrix5k

People from the Boston area move to SoCal and come back all the time. IMO it's nice to vacation there, but I don't think it's a good place to raise kids. New England feels more family oriented.

After experiencing the daily life in SoCal myself, I do agree with you that it's a much pleasant are to visit than to actually live in it unless someone is 1) raised here. 2) pursuing a career in the entertainment industry. 3) filthy rich

Like you have mentioned, I couldn't see myself raising a kid here unless its around Irvine area but then again I heard that Irvine public schools are so competitive to get into that it doesn't matter if you live next to them, you still have the possibly that your kid might not get in

tough place

[SteelCutOatmeal]

Originally Posted by simplexsimon

How long have you been living in SoCal and why did you move there?

Why are you moving to MA?

I moved from the Bay Area to MA for grad school and stayed here for work and family.

About 1.5 years, Not a long time I know. I was living in NYC before the move

I initially moved here because it was always my dream since a teenager to move here. but I quickly realize that wants and needs change significantly.

However, The main reason I moved to SoCal was that I came up on enough funds to move there and I wanted to get away from the life I've had and start over.

For the sake of length, I am moving back to MA because halfway through my lease I experienced a mental breakdown. I was pretty much facing my demons and repressed emotions due to the isolation and the fact I wasn't leave the home to work. I was taking a drug called modafinil (which was considered to be safe) and realized it was triggering psychotic episodes. I was making mistakes here and there, spending too much here and there and ended up losing more than half of my savings. I was cycling through depression and anxiety which prevented me to leave the house on most days which made me feel even worse because my therapist told me "youre paying taxes and premium prices on everything for california's sunshine and weather, you better take advantage of it." This was 6 months ago from today.

I wanted to move to Chicago but I thought that didn't make any sense. I needed to recover fully and find employment as soon as I can.

My parents agreed to help me out with allowing me to stay with them until I find employment. This comes with it's own problems as my parents are the type of people who aren't emotionally aware and say passive aggressive comments. I have enough savings to move to a cheaper apartment but finding employment is a problem for me here as I decided to give up my dream on working in the music industry. I also don't work in tech. my plan was to initially move in with my parents, look for employment for the first month and if nothing works out move out to a affordable apartment with my savings for my parent's sanity and my own.

Do you like the bay area more? My brother lives there and I spent a few months over there and it seemed very nice.

[1200RT]

My wife and I recently moved from LA (pasadena) back to north NJ where I grew up (and still have a ton of family, including my mother in the house I grew up in).

Originally Posted by matrix5k

People from the Boston area move to SoCal and come back all the time. IMO it's nice to vacation there, but I don't think it's a good place to raise kids. New England feels more family oriented.

This sums it up nicely. We realized that we didnt want to raise kids in LA (my wife was born and raised in LA). While very doable, it just wasn't for us. While not the same as Mass, very similar situation.

[matrix5k]

Originally Posted by SteelCutOatmeal

About 1.5 years, Not a long time I know. I was living in NYC before the move

I initially moved here because it was always my dream since a teenager to move here. but I quickly realize that wants and needs change significantly.

However, The main reason I moved to SoCal was that I came up on enough funds to move there and I wanted to get away from the life I've had and start over.

For the sake of length, I am moving back to MA because halfway through my lease I experienced a mental breakdown. I was pretty much facing my demons and repressed emotions due to the isolation and the fact I wasn't leave the home to work. I was taking a drug called modafinil (which was considered to be safe) and realized it was triggering psychotic episodes. I was making mistakes here and there, spending too much here and there and ended up losing more than half of my savings. I was cycling through depression and anxiety which prevented me to leave the house on most days which made me feel even worse because my therapist told me "youre paying taxes and premium prices on everything for california's sunshine and weather, you better take advantage of it." This was 6 months ago from today.

I wanted to move to Chicago but I thought that didn't make any sense. I needed to recover fully and find employment as soon as I can.

My parents agreed to help me out with allowing me to stay with them until I find employment. This comes with it's own problems as my parents are the type of people who aren't emotionally aware and say passive aggressive comments. I have enough savings to move to a cheaper apartment but finding employment is a problem for me here as I decided to give up my dream on working in the music industry. I also don't work in tech. my plan was to initially move in with my parents, look for employment for the first month and if nothing works out move out to a affordable apartment with my savings for my parent's sanity and my own.

Do you like the bay area more? My brother lives there and I spent a few months over there and it seemed very nice.

That's not uncommon at all. Many college grads move to CA for the sunshine and glamour only to find that it's not as they imagined. It's still great out there, just not my scene. I found it hard to meet people, and everything required driving 20mins or more. It was weird, a group of 10 people would rather drive 10 separate cars than carpool somewhere. Maybe that was just my experience. The sunshine is great but I did miss the rain and trees out in MA.

[simplexsimon]

OP sorry to hear about your troubles and hope you find peace and stability soon.

Originally Posted by SteelCutOatmeal

Do you like the bay area more? My brother lives there and I spent a few months over there and it seemed very nice.

I like both here and the Bay, just different aspects of each. Some people in my network there have done very well in tech so their quality of life is similar to mine here, but everyone else has to make a lot of tradeoffs/sacrifices to live there. My extended family still lives out there so I try to visit at least once a year.

[CALGUY]

Something I learned many, many years ago about changing locations.
Usually that desire to move away stems from what is going on in a person's mind.
We all create our circumstances, regardless of where we reside.
Those seeking change seem to always believe a new area will change things.
What ever is driving them away from one area, will still be there when they arrive in a new place.
It may take a while to show it's ugly face again, but more than likely it will.

People always try to make excuses, "I'M just not happy here, I think I can do better else where", etc.
"I'M not getting anywhere here, I need a change".

Well, the fact is, the reasons one wants to try somewhere else is simply a false sense of security.
"If I move from here, I am sure things will be better".
With this kind of thinking, you are only fooling yourself.
The thing to do is face up to whatever it is that is hounding you about moving, and deal with it head on.
Geographic's are not the cure.
You will still be the same person, with the same problems, when you arrive at your new destination.

For me, the decision to move to a warmer climate prompted my move, first to Florida, then on to California.
I grew weary of the snow and cold of Massachusetts, and wanted out.
I lived in Florida for three years, but the humidity took it's toll on my sinus condition.
Friends in Los Angeles prodded me to move out west.
I did in 1970, and never looked back.
Unlike many who want to move from any one area, my choice was based on weather, and nothing more, but for many, it is some emotional hang up driving them to seek other areas, and those hang ups will follow them where ever they move to.

[hken]

I’ve moved between Mass and SoCal five times in the last 20 years so I have a pretty good understanding of what you are going through. In your situation I don’t really think you have a choice – you need to rebuild your mental health and long term career goals. You are just disappointed in your stint in SoCal after dreaming about it for so long.

The good thing about moving back while you are still ‘young’ is that Mass (I am going to assume eastern) is a good place for someone in their 20s…so many college grads and career opportunities. But it goes fast. After I left Mass at 28, I came back at 30 with no job, all my friends having moved on, single and down to minimal savings. It was the hardest and loneliest time in my life. You need to focus and put your social and professional paths in a good spot. I firmly believe that if you work hard in life towards goals, you make your own luck. Fortunately I got to move back to SoCal after 6 months. So never say never about missed opportunities.

SoCal can be a very lonely place if you have no family or opportunities to build real people connections. Many are transient and if you are in the entertainment business, it’s full of self-centered people trying to claw their way to success. I don’t know how you ended up in Irvine but it’s pretty different than LA. That’s like saying I moved to Hartford to start my life in New England rather than Boston.

Don’t look back with regret. Years later you can say you tried the whole SoCal thing and even though it didn’t work out, you did it.