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I have a nightmare neighbor. I live in a 2 unit duplex condominium. I own my half and my neighbor along with her mother own the other half. We have lived in misery since 2017. I took over maintaining the condo account right before she purchased her unit. She immediately started making changes to the property without requesting permission and then would deduct it from her condo fee. I tried to explain to her that she can't do that and that she needed to read our condo documents. she became a chronic complainer about my dog barking to the point that I rehomed my dog because I could not take the stress anymore. I am a single mother who works a full time job and does reserve duty for the Army. Once I rehomed the dog my neighbor then targeted my son. Constantly complaining that he was making noise. My son was no angel but I made sure the noise level was down when she was home to avoid any drama.
We had a very large tree fall in the common area on the side of the property I reside on. The insurance company did not cover the cost since it fell towards a neighboring houses property. It broke our fence and took out their shed. Once the tree was cut we needed to pay out of pocket for the stump removal, flattening of the area, fence repair, and loam and seed of that portion of the yard. The chronic complainer wanted to assist with getting quotes. I caught her asking contractors to plus up the cost to absorb our deductible. (this was before we found out the insurance company wasn't paying for it). I stopped her and told her that it is illegal and we were not doing that. After that I kept her away from contractors and worked to get new quotes. This all started around November of 2019 right at the start of COVID. It became almost impossible to get work completed so we were delayed until 2021. We jointly paid to have the stump ground and the hole filled in and flattened. Without the tree a bunch of bushes became really overgrown and were going almost 2 feet through the broken fence and were encroaching on another neighbors property. I was unable to get fence repair quotes because contractors needed them cleared and out of the way before they would do the work. She initially said yes then changed her mind and refused to pay for anything else but the fence repair itself, which couldn't get done until the clearing. Catch-22. She flat out told me that it was my yard and she was tired of paying towards something that was my responsibility alone.
the property our duplex sits on has yard all the way around it. The condo docs clearly state the entire thing is common area and all of these items fall under common expenses. Now we have wildlife in the area so my "yard" did not feel safe. My son wasn't playing in the yard at all because the fence was breached. I finally was fed up and had the repairs completed out of my own pocket. I actually worked really hard to keep the costs at the minimum. The final costs were much less than initially quoted. Neighbor refused to pay any of it. All she says is I don't care I am not doing that. She is the most entitled person I have ever met. She is mid 30s and drives a car her father bought and lives in a house her mother bought for her. I can't help but believe that our war started when I told her no she can't just do stuff without permission. It has literally been WW3 ever since. I have now spent over 7K maintaining the property and she owes me for half of it as a special assessment. I had to file in small claims court to try and get it back. Due to COVID backlog we didn't get a court date until June of 2022. She started harassing me in November 2021. Stalking the property, taking pictures inside my home, idling outside and staring at my door, and bad mouthing me to everyone on the street. My son is afraid of her large dog and I told her she needed to follow the leash law and keep him on a leash out front. she refused and started leaving him unattended outside a foot from my front door. since it is common area out front it is considered a civil matter and the animal control officer won't do anything about it. The officer is also a friend of hers so even when the dog was in the street I was blatantly ignored. Things came to a head when she shoved her dog at me and I filed a police report and took her to court for harassment.
Her lawyer asked me to work with him to mediate the situation and I in an effort to keep this out of court agreed. That was really stupid. He ended up filing a motion to move the case out of small claims and into regular civil court with a jury, further delaying an outcome. 7 months ago she stopped paying her condo fees and left me to pay everything out of pocket. That is another 2k this single mother lost. In November 2021 I had my dining room ceiling come crashing down due to a leak in the upstairs bathroom. ended up going through insurance for repair. Neighbor told me I had no right to use the insurance and demanded I cancel the claim. I refused as this was a valid claim. She called the insurance company and reported me for insurance fraud, they did an investigation and found no fault and declared it a valid claim. She continued to call them and harass them to the point they called me and asked if I could get her to stop. Furious that I was cleared she called the Department of Health and told them I had a hazardous work site. The ceiling was a popcorn ceiling from the 70s and turned out had asbestos. They ended up doing an abatement on the entire first floor. She was concerned even though I had a permit from the state for the work. They shut the work site down for 5 weeks until they cleared me and my company.
Then she went to the building commissioner and told him I was creating structural integrity issues with the property. The sheetrock was the only thing removed from the entire ceiling and you could see the wires and beams but no structure was effected. She also told them I was doing unpermitted work. They shut me down. Called the general manager of the contracting company and told them not to step foot on my property until I was cleared. Had the commissioner come to my property and do his own walkthru. Found absolutely no fault and resumed my project. All told this happened in November 2021 and my ceiling ended up not going back up until May 2022. I went through the entire winter with no ceiling and absolutely no furniture on the first floor of my home as everything was in storage until the work was completed.
I have had two water emergencies where I needed the main water valve shut off. It is located in her unit. She refused to shut it off the first time and I had no way to contact her the second time since she blocked me from her phone in retaliation for deleting my email. I am required to have access to that valve. All I have asked for is a number I can call in an emergency concerning the valve. I have yet to get it. I have coordinated through her attorney to get the water shut off to complete the repairs for 5 weeks and was getting nowhere. I finally just have the water company come out and shut it off at the street during the day when she is not home. She conveniently comes home early and within 90 seconds is at my door screaming at me to turn it back on and has her lawyer on the phone talking about I am violating her rights. She then tries to turn on the water by turning her shut off valve (she has no clue) thinking that will turn it back on after I told her my pipe was already cut and water would gush out. Not to mention the city turned it off at the street, I don't have a shut off....All told the work was completed within 11 minutes of her arriving home and the water was turned back on 20 minutes after she got home. All times before her normal arrival home. She was furious I actually had my repair completed after she had already delayed it 5 weeks.
She sent me endless emails to the point of harassment. It was so bad I told her not to email anymore. She ignored me and actually emailed me even more. I ended up deleting my email address so she couldn't continue to do it. She then emailed me at my work email that she knows I can't delete. I forward the email to her lawyer and asked him to make her stop. She called my boss and tried to tell him i was misusing my government email address for personal stuff. She has racked up over 3K in violations for not having the dog on a leash. she refused to pay any of it and tells me that there is no authority to fine her even though it is clearly in our documents. she has been through 3 lawyers at this point. She continues to open the back gate which she threatened to do so her dog could run free into the yard on my side and scare my son. she took to walking her dog in my sons play area in the yard and letting him do his business there. She continues to walk the length of the property with her dog staring at me, my son, and our property.
I am at my wits end but unfortunately cannot afford to move as my son loves our town and with the housing market the way it is right now we can't afford a single family property here right now. I also can't afford to get an attorney because I am already out 8K and counting. We have a case management conference in a month and then court. She is now countersuing me for legal fees and damages. Going to court was only meant to reimburse valid costs and has now turned into this nightmare. I don't think this will ever truly be over. I would love advice from anyone with similar experiences or a legal background.
Definitely agree with the poster above. Move as soon as you are able to sell the place once the repairs are all squared away. Also, if her dog does bite or injure you/your son you'll have a good case against her and probably a big settlement if you sue. Also, document and take photos of everything she does around your unit or to common areas, maybe get ring or arlo surveillance cams in case she tries any other funny stuff.
Dealing with shared walls/expenses/neighbors bs makes condos/duplexes risky business. It's even worse when there are only 2 units because usually those are self managed among the two parties versus a 3rd party company that runs an association for a complex with 20-100+ units. Been there, done that and never again! Single family homes for me ever since I sold mine. I didn't have any scenarios to the extremes you are having but I did have some issues with neighbors not wanting to leash their dogs or pick up after their fido. No thanks, I don't want to see your dog's day old sh*t in the grass when I walk out my front door.
She sounds like an absolute loon and you sound like you don't have the people skills to effectively negotiate jointly-owned property. Sell while you can. Next year might be too late.
I currently live in a 2-unit condo and did it once before. It's not ideal, as there can be differences of opinion on maintenance of common responsibility areas. I'd prefer to own my own place but my divorce and Mass child support have drained over $500K from me so far, and the bleeding continues, so getting my own place in Newburyport just isn't in the cards for me. That said, while not ideal, I haven't had anywhere *near* the level of issues with my co-owning neighbors that you have had, and I feel for you.
Definitely agree with suggestions to document as much as possible, as clearly as possible what's going on if there are court proceedings - without documentation, it's only your word against hers. And also agree with the proposal to try to use mediation or conciliation to try to bring about resolution. If it's just a lot of filing motions in the court by both attorneys - preparing these takes time, discovery takes time, and court appearances to sort through them takes time - and all of that attorney time is billable hours. Attorneys unfortunately may not have a strong interest in promptly concluding cases - I don't think they all just run up the bill needlessly, but I am sure that some do. It's actually in both your interests to settle the case to stop these attorney's fees.
That could solve the problem. However, foreclosure is a long and expensive process. Meanwhile, during the process the neighbor would probably kick their attitude into overdrive because of what was going on or they might just pay up to get out of foreclosure and then all you've done is kick the fight into high gear.
I agree. I think it's just infinitely easier to move. I can't imagine what an awful and lengthy process that would be. And if the neighbor is able to avoid foreclosure (it seems like their non-payment is out of spite, not lack of ability to pay), what then? It would be an absolute train wreck. And is it really better if the OP is successful and the neighbor ends up in foreclosure? If the relationship is already this sour and petty, what happens when the neighbor comes to the realization that they no longer have anything to lose? I could see it descending into criminal territory (if it isn't already).
Really, just do the best thing for you and your child and move.
I have a nightmare neighbor. I live in a 2 unit duplex condominium. I own my half and my neighbor along with her mother own the other half. We have lived in misery since 2017. I took over maintaining the condo account right before she purchased her unit. She immediately started making changes to the property without requesting permission and then would deduct it from her condo fee. I tried to explain to her that she can't do that and that she needed to read our condo documents. she became a chronic complainer about my dog barking to the point that I rehomed my dog because I could not take the stress anymore. I am a single mother who works a full time job and does reserve duty for the Army. Once I rehomed the dog my neighbor then targeted my son. Constantly complaining that he was making noise. My son was no angel but I made sure the noise level was down when she was home to avoid any drama.
We had a very large tree fall in the common area on the side of the property I reside on. The insurance company did not cover the cost since it fell towards a neighboring houses property. It broke our fence and took out their shed. Once the tree was cut we needed to pay out of pocket for the stump removal, flattening of the area, fence repair, and loam and seed of that portion of the yard. The chronic complainer wanted to assist with getting quotes. I caught her asking contractors to plus up the cost to absorb our deductible. (this was before we found out the insurance company wasn't paying for it). I stopped her and told her that it is illegal and we were not doing that. After that I kept her away from contractors and worked to get new quotes. This all started around November of 2019 right at the start of COVID. It became almost impossible to get work completed so we were delayed until 2021. We jointly paid to have the stump ground and the hole filled in and flattened. Without the tree a bunch of bushes became really overgrown and were going almost 2 feet through the broken fence and were encroaching on another neighbors property. I was unable to get fence repair quotes because contractors needed them cleared and out of the way before they would do the work. She initially said yes then changed her mind and refused to pay for anything else but the fence repair itself, which couldn't get done until the clearing. Catch-22. She flat out told me that it was my yard and she was tired of paying towards something that was my responsibility alone.
the property our duplex sits on has yard all the way around it. The condo docs clearly state the entire thing is common area and all of these items fall under common expenses. Now we have wildlife in the area so my "yard" did not feel safe. My son wasn't playing in the yard at all because the fence was breached. I finally was fed up and had the repairs completed out of my own pocket. I actually worked really hard to keep the costs at the minimum. The final costs were much less than initially quoted. Neighbor refused to pay any of it. All she says is I don't care I am not doing that. She is the most entitled person I have ever met. She is mid 30s and drives a car her father bought and lives in a house her mother bought for her. I can't help but believe that our war started when I told her no she can't just do stuff without permission. It has literally been WW3 ever since. I have now spent over 7K maintaining the property and she owes me for half of it as a special assessment. I had to file in small claims court to try and get it back. Due to COVID backlog we didn't get a court date until June of 2022. She started harassing me in November 2021. Stalking the property, taking pictures inside my home, idling outside and staring at my door, and bad mouthing me to everyone on the street. My son is afraid of her large dog and I told her she needed to follow the leash law and keep him on a leash out front. she refused and started leaving him unattended outside a foot from my front door. since it is common area out front it is considered a civil matter and the animal control officer won't do anything about it. The officer is also a friend of hers so even when the dog was in the street I was blatantly ignored. Things came to a head when she shoved her dog at me and I filed a police report and took her to court for harassment.
Her lawyer asked me to work with him to mediate the situation and I in an effort to keep this out of court agreed. That was really stupid. He ended up filing a motion to move the case out of small claims and into regular civil court with a jury, further delaying an outcome. 7 months ago she stopped paying her condo fees and left me to pay everything out of pocket. That is another 2k this single mother lost. In November 2021 I had my dining room ceiling come crashing down due to a leak in the upstairs bathroom. ended up going through insurance for repair. Neighbor told me I had no right to use the insurance and demanded I cancel the claim. I refused as this was a valid claim. She called the insurance company and reported me for insurance fraud, they did an investigation and found no fault and declared it a valid claim. She continued to call them and harass them to the point they called me and asked if I could get her to stop. Furious that I was cleared she called the Department of Health and told them I had a hazardous work site. The ceiling was a popcorn ceiling from the 70s and turned out had asbestos. They ended up doing an abatement on the entire first floor. She was concerned even though I had a permit from the state for the work. They shut the work site down for 5 weeks until they cleared me and my company.
Then she went to the building commissioner and told him I was creating structural integrity issues with the property. The sheetrock was the only thing removed from the entire ceiling and you could see the wires and beams but no structure was effected. She also told them I was doing unpermitted work. They shut me down. Called the general manager of the contracting company and told them not to step foot on my property until I was cleared. Had the commissioner come to my property and do his own walkthru. Found absolutely no fault and resumed my project. All told this happened in November 2021 and my ceiling ended up not going back up until May 2022. I went through the entire winter with no ceiling and absolutely no furniture on the first floor of my home as everything was in storage until the work was completed.
I have had two water emergencies where I needed the main water valve shut off. It is located in her unit. She refused to shut it off the first time and I had no way to contact her the second time since she blocked me from her phone in retaliation for deleting my email. I am required to have access to that valve. All I have asked for is a number I can call in an emergency concerning the valve. I have yet to get it. I have coordinated through her attorney to get the water shut off to complete the repairs for 5 weeks and was getting nowhere. I finally just have the water company come out and shut it off at the street during the day when she is not home. She conveniently comes home early and within 90 seconds is at my door screaming at me to turn it back on and has her lawyer on the phone talking about I am violating her rights. She then tries to turn on the water by turning her shut off valve (she has no clue) thinking that will turn it back on after I told her my pipe was already cut and water would gush out. Not to mention the city turned it off at the street, I don't have a shut off....All told the work was completed within 11 minutes of her arriving home and the water was turned back on 20 minutes after she got home. All times before her normal arrival home. She was furious I actually had my repair completed after she had already delayed it 5 weeks.
She sent me endless emails to the point of harassment. It was so bad I told her not to email anymore. She ignored me and actually emailed me even more. I ended up deleting my email address so she couldn't continue to do it. She then emailed me at my work email that she knows I can't delete. I forward the email to her lawyer and asked him to make her stop. She called my boss and tried to tell him i was misusing my government email address for personal stuff. She has racked up over 3K in violations for not having the dog on a leash. she refused to pay any of it and tells me that there is no authority to fine her even though it is clearly in our documents. she has been through 3 lawyers at this point. She continues to open the back gate which she threatened to do so her dog could run free into the yard on my side and scare my son. she took to walking her dog in my sons play area in the yard and letting him do his business there. She continues to walk the length of the property with her dog staring at me, my son, and our property.
I am at my wits end but unfortunately cannot afford to move as my son loves our town and with the housing market the way it is right now we can't afford a single family property here right now. I also can't afford to get an attorney because I am already out 8K and counting. We have a case management conference in a month and then court. She is now countersuing me for legal fees and damages. Going to court was only meant to reimburse valid costs and has now turned into this nightmare. I don't think this will ever truly be over. I would love advice from anyone with similar experiences or a legal background.
Condo living has so many problems, ever increasing condo fees, special assessments and in some cases legal fees for those people not keeping to the condo association contract.
Other problems specifically related to 2 and 3 condo deckers include 1 owner going bankrupt. If an investor buys the unit and has a majority ownership, 51% or greater they can come in and raise the condo fees to exorbitant amounts.
Never buy into a 2 or 3 decker or small apartment building that has been converted to condos.
Even with large condo developments you have to be careful because every condo agreement is different.
I don't think this will ever truly be over. I would love advice from anyone with similar experiences or a legal background.
I know you think you will go before the Judge and the Judge will say "you win" but that isn't going to happen. The Judge will spend years trying to get you to see reason (and her too) and when you won't will likely not make a decision for years. She will get a little you will get a little and then.. of course... there is the appeal.
Just move.
Life isn't always fair. This will consume your life and funds if you don't end it.
Quote:
you are both problematic tenants, you both have an attitude, and you both have created issues for each other to **** each other off, you are also both.. females (catty, arrogant, pissed off about the other, thinking they are right and not caring when you are wrong). Your neighbor is a bigger offender than you of course.
You are right about it being women, I have seen several cases exactly like this... both women, but in both cases... it was because they were both poor (as women tend to be) and could not afford to move. It is the poverty of single women that causes women to go after condos and to hold on past the point they should.
I know you think you will go before the Judge and the Judge will say "you win" but that isn't going to happen. The Judge will spend years trying to get you to see reason (and her too) and when you won't will likely not make a decision for years. She will get a little you will get a little and then.. of course... there is the appeal.
Just move.
Life isn't always fair. This will consume your life and funds if you don't end it.
You are right about it being women, I have seen several cases exactly like this... both women, but in both cases... it was because they were both poor (as women tend to be) and could not afford to move. It is the poverty of single women that causes women to go after condos and to hold on past the point they should.
There are many women who are not poor and there are also many men who are poor. There are many women who make more than their husbands. What do you say to that?!
If she owns a condo I wouldn't consider that poor. Poor probably cannot afford to purchase any type of real estate whether it be a condo or a SFH.
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