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Karen welcome to our panic forum. I am very happy for you that you are now panic free. That is awesome. Your thoughts and experiences are definitely welcome here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KarenBo
I started having panic attacks when I was 7 years old. I went to various doctors, therapists, etc. I tried different medications, meditation, relaxation techniques. Finally, I worked with a behavioral therapist for about 2 years. I stopped seeing my therapist about 4 yrs ago (a mutually agreed upon milestone) but I keep her number in case I ever feel the need to revisit her. Currently I try to keep my stress levels down through exercise and relaxation. With the exception of airline flights (which I treat with Xanax), I have been panic-attack-free for the last 6 years. Just keep trying different methods until you find what works for you. Best wishes to all.
Same thing for me too (I see a pattern evolving), stress in childhood, not from abuse though.
My grandmother died right in front of my eyes. The stress comes from the whole event. From being all alone with her at the time, I was very young, and I couldnt get out the house to get her help -- I thought she had rabies and was going to bite me, as she was foaming at the mouth -- and I was in a state of sheer, total, panic, blind panic, I was so scared. I remember it vivildy, I remember the doors, they were huge and I had to drag a chair over to them to be able to get up high enough to unlock the top bolts. I ran down the street, glass on the pavement, bare footed, screaming for someone to help, and no one did. I got to the bakery and the woman in their helped me. (I was in Scotland, thats where my grandmother lived, and my Mum had left me their to vacation with her for a week)
Then my father died when I was 13 in the Falklands war. We had a fight, before he left, he was a very harsh man, and he used to hit me with his slipper-- not abusive though. I told him I hated him and I wish he were dead. He never came back.
Too much guilt...
Too much stress ...
for such a young mind ... and it still lingers.
I dont tell people this stuff very often, its still hard, its like a raw piece of me, a vulnerable piece, and if I let in the vulnerability, it leaves me open.
I am curious for anyone writing in this thread if you have been able to trace your tendency for panic attacks and suffering from anxiety to a cause. Such as do they run in your family or like me did you have a very stressful childhood?
For some reason I feel the drive to understand why. I imagine its a combination for me. I do know I have been dealing with this for many years, maybe as young as you mention. From a very young age I knew I was adopted and I feared they would come back and take me away, I remember going through a stage very young, running whenever the doorbell rings.
I didn't have a stressful childhood as such, but something I discussed with the woman I saw about it last year was that I was in a very closed and protected environment with my parents - they were effectively my best friends until I left home, so anything in the outside world then became quite scary and overwhelming. It's something I'll be very wary of if I have kids. Get out there! Experience stuff! Shoo!
I constantly find it astonishing how something like this can appear to come from nowhere and yet we all have almost identical symptoms. I find it quite bizarre.
A)Having removable arms/legs so you can rip them off when you are feeling anxious
B)Having different fabrics that you can rub (like a worry stone)
A)Small enough to fit in your bag
B)Big, to have at home, in the car, and is huggable size.
thanks
A on both questions I think. I'm wondering about whether it should look like something other than a traditional "doll" so that if people see it you don't look like you've just escaped from an asylum. Do you know what I mean?
Maybe it could look quite funny, so that a) you don't feel bad about ripping its arms off and b) it makes you smile. You could call it a stress doll on the front so there's no stigma, but market it as a panic/ anxiety doll.
Not that that's quite a challenge or anything...
Hey maybe you could do 2 designs, one big huggable friendly one for domestic use and one sillier portable one. Do prototypes and market research.
Same thing for me too (I see a pattern evolving), stress in childhood, not from abuse though.
My grandmother died right in front of my eyes. The stress comes from the whole event. From being all alone with her at the time, I was very young, and I couldnt get out the house to get her help -- I thought she had rabies and was going to bite me, as she was foaming at the mouth -- and I was in a state of sheer, total, panic, blind panic, I was so scared. I remember it vivildy, I remember the doors, they were huge and I had to drag a chair over to them to be able to get up high enough to unlock the top bolts. I ran down the street, glass on the pavement, bare footed, screaming for someone to help, and no one did. I got to the bakery and the woman in their helped me. (I was in Scotland, thats where my grandmother lived, and my Mum had left me their to vacation with her for a week)
Then my father died when I was 13 in the Falklands war. We had a fight, before he left, he was a very harsh man, and he used to hit me with his slipper-- not abusive though. I told him I hated him and I wish he were dead. He never came back.
Too much guilt...
Too much stress ...
for such a young mind ... and it still lingers.
I dont tell people this stuff very often, its still hard, its like a raw piece of me, a vulnerable piece, and if I let in the vulnerability, it leaves me open.
This probably sounds obvious and you may have heard it a thousand times but .... it's not your fault. These things happened to you, they didn't happen because of you.
Handi, I'm sorry you went through this. I know how hard it is to share stories that cut your soul like this. I often feel like the wounds will re-open if I talk about it with people AND I do think it makes them more fresh, not only the memories come back but the pain comes back to recall it all.
There are times I look back and wonder how I got through certain things but then again what choice do any of us have but to soldier on and get through things.
I think in my case it was simply the repeated assualts of the family screaming, yelling and manipulations. The fear that more would continue always followed me, I would do my best to get away from it but unfortunatly sometimes it followed me. My brother used to actually seek me out to scream at me. I know it made him feel powerful to see the fear in my eyes, I used to back away from him, make sure he didn't get me cornered up against anything, I knew I needed to be able to run because he was so explosive.
Twenty years ago, I got married, moved and started a new job all within six months. About six months after that, I had my first panic attack. I had no clue what was happening to me but I very quickly went from an independent, self-reliant, strong person to one who had trouble leaving the house.
The panic/anxiety went on for about 10 years though I had moments where it was a lot better and then bad moments. I do have to say that leaving that area and that job helped tremendously, but it wasn't until 10 years later when I found a therapist who truly had some expertise in this area, that I was finally able to make some progress.
My bible was a book called The Panic and Anxiety Disorder Workbook (or something like that). I also started taking Klonopin. It was so much more effective than Xanax which only had a terrible rebound effect for me. Antidepressants such as Zoloft were a disaster.
I'm off Klonopin now and have been virtually panic-free for almost 8 years. I don't know what the magic bullet was, or if there was one.
I'm going through an incredibly stressful period in my life right now and everything in it (family, job, etc.) could change drastically at a moment's notice. But I have remained in control,though the anxiety level has racheted up a few notches. One thing my counselor taught me which has been invaluable was to rate my panic level on a scale of 1-10 and to talk myself down before I got past "4" or "5".
One thing my counselor taught me which has been invaluable was to rate my panic level on a scale of 1-10 and to talk myself down before I got past "4" or "5".
Sometimes I'm able to do that,other times no such luck. Any other tips you want to pass along would be great!
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. Your thoughts and experiences are definitely welcome here.
