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I feel like a complete wreck right now. I am trying to focus on a couple of assignments due tonight but I feel panicky and have no one to talk to, nothing I can do. I have been waiting almost two weeks to hear back about a great job opportunity but haven't heard a thing, either way so I am just on edge over that. If I get this position I will need to withdraw from some of my classes, so I can't help but feel it's pointless to try and focus on stuff that frankly I don't even care about. Actually, I am almost completely burned out on school anyways. I am late 20's and have been attending college as a non-trad for the past several years. I'm close to done but I feel as though the breaking point is reached. My classes this semester are challenging and I just can't get into any of it!!
Also my ex fiance has been in and out of my life over the past month. We broke up 1.5 years ago after being together 6 years. I don't know what to make of it or what he wants to do, he is running hot and cold and I've had it up TO HERE trying to decipher what the heck is up. I love him and would probably get back together if he treated me consistently, but he doesn't. He claims he doesn't want to be creepy. Okayyyy.
On top of all that, I am trying to be a stable and caring mom to my child who has just entered middle school and is struggling. I think it will be okay, but it's a lot of homework and kind of scary for them, which I ache about.
I don't have time to see a therapist. I take Wellbutrin for depression but it makes me antsy. My dr. prescribed Xanax which I WISH I COULD TAKE ALL THE TIME but of course I can't. I ;ve been exercising more, cutting out sugar. Trying to be healthy. I just feel like I am going to break any day now. I can't believe this job thing is taking so long!! I don't get my ex. I am concerned for my child. I hate college and am JUST SO BURNT OUT. I can't deal. Please...any words of wisdom welcome for my peace of mind.
Well I just scheduled an appointment with the campus counseling center. It's for next week but at least they can squeeze me in before class. I feel a little better having done that.
Hang in there. I know you say you don't have time for therapy and you do have a lot on your plate, but it would probably help. Maybe consider taking a semester off and getting therapy.
Sounds like you just need to forget about the ex. He's not going to change and it sounds all he is is a distraction that saps your energy and wastes your time. Focus on yourself and your child.
There's just no way I can do this homework I can't concentrate for more than 45 seconds. Both assignments require Excel which I hate anyways and massive multiple steps and crap. I just don't think I can do it at all.
Hang in there. I know you say you don't have time for therapy and you do have a lot on your plate, but it would probably help. Maybe consider taking a semester off and getting therapy.
Sounds like you just need to forget about the ex. He's not going to change and it sounds all he is is a distraction that saps your energy and wastes your time. Focus on yourself and your child.
Good luck!
Thanks for the response Rowan. I know you are right about my ex. He doesn't mean to be but sometimes the whole thing is just too much trouble, for me to handle especially right now.
I wish I could take the semester off, because I do feel over my head. In fact I dropped one class already. I can not drop anymore at this point without losing all my tuition If I got the job I've been waiting about, financially things would change so much, so positively, I could afford to take the hit. Not any other way.
I appreciate again your thoughts. My child is my most important priority, she's the person I keep it together for, outwardly anyways. I save my crying bouts for when she's not around, I can't bear to upset her on top of everything else.. Of course she's perceptive and can sense my anxiety anyways so I feel awful about that too
I will send positive thoughts your way about the new job. I understand about the tuition. FWIW I don't like Excel either.
Seriously if your ex wanted to change he would. He knows exactly what he's doing. Don't make excuses for him. You deserve someone better.
You are an anonymous person on the internet, but what you are saying means so much to me, and is a soothing balm on my worn-to-bits soul, right now. I am getting teary from your kind words and goodness to a complete stranger. Thank you, deeply. May good karma be with you.
I'm sorry, but in my opinion, you're completely barking up the wrong tree.
It sounds as if you probably do have too much on your plate, some of it of your own making. I think maybe you need to sit down and think about a few things.
1. Why are you letting your ex-fiance screw around with you like this? If he's blowing hot and cold, tell him to buzz off. Why allow him to create more stress?
2. Think about why you're taking classes you don't care about in the first place.
3. Remember that the job may or may not pan out - or they may keep you hanging for another month, so don't arrange your life around that.
From my point of view, I think you are wrong to be dependent on medication for what sounds like the ordinary anxieties of modern urban life. And I think you are totally wrong in imagining you don't have time to see a therapist. That is exactly what you should be doing. And by the way, do you know that Welbutrin can cause seizures? Doctors rarely seem to tell patients that, but I know someone had seizure triggered by Welbutrin; she lost her job as a result, and of course she could have died under some circumstances.
What if, regardless of anything else, you dropped one of your classes right away?
1. I was holding on to hope that things could work out, since certain circumstances for him recently changed (that were issues previously). BUT- still true. This situation is creating more stress.
2. I am taking classes that are required for my program. They are not directly related to my major, but rather part of a "core" package that all students in the particular college must take. I have two semesters left.
3. Also true.
I understand not everyone feels medication has a necessary place in mental health management, but generally, it has given me motivation and energy I otherwise could not begin to conjure up. I am not sure if you have ever personally experienced a mental health disorder, but I do not believe this anyone's place to judge. My doctor and I have been tweaking depression and anxiety management for over a decade now. I am experiencing extreme stress due to juggling a heavy course load, work (albeit part time, but whenever I am not in class I am at work), and single parenthood. Ordinary anxieties to some, perhaps. But since we are not all wired the same please do not make the assumption I should be able to function independently of medication.
Anyway, I do appreciate your input. I am aware of the potential risks associated with Wellbutrin. As stated previously, I am also aware I can not "dope up" on anti-anxiety meds or anything else. I am making an effort to live my life healthfully and stay active. However, I do feel I am bending to the pressures, particularly waiting to hear about the life-changing job situation. Yes, it may not happen. I would just like to know, either way. I just want to be able to focus on the important things and not live in a constant state of anxiety and wonder.
I empathize with feeling so unfocused that I cannot complete an assignment. Have you ever tried mindfulness meditation? It really helps me with anxiety and lack of concentration. This is one of many youtube vids I have used: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBbf...NY45QRuAIiYluS
I think you should tell your doc to prescribe different meds for you: if wellbutrin is making your anxiety worse, then they should be able to help you with something that will have lesser or no side effects. Have you been through a lot of meds to find one that works?
Also, ITA with everybody about the ex-fiance. He is making your anxiety worse, so tell him to stay out of your life.
I would be in therapy if I could afford it, but I don't have insurance. It would be my main source of medication. If your insurance won't cover it, look into low-cost health plans or free mental health clinics.
I hope you can find some peace and are able to take care of yourself and your daughter. =)
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I can't concentrate for more than 45 seconds. Both assignments require Excel which I hate anyways and massive multiple steps and crap. I just don't think I can do it at all.
