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After another bad day with unexplained eye pain and irritation and bad anxiety I didn't take my second Wellbutrin yesterday. My eyes are not bothering me today.
My sandal broke on the way into the library so I had to wear one shoe there and to my optometrist's office. On the way home my low tire pressure indicator came on again (filled all the tires the previous night) and I had to go over the bridge to get back home. I hate bridges. As soon as I was over I felt the tire was going completely flat. Luckily after crossing the bridge I'm only about a mile and a half from home. The tire is completely shot but I'm thankful that I made it over the bridge. I'm also thankful my son was home. I had to take a half of a Lorazepam I was getting so anxious. I don't deal well with stress.
I don't know how I feel today; fell asleep by 10:00, woke up at 3:45 and finally got up at 5:00 when I couldn't fall back to sleep. What I wouldn't give to get a solid 8 hours and actually wake up refreshed.
I sometimes feel I have a mild form of PTST. Last year I lived through Hurricane Irma, moved into my house and then was hospitalized for 11 days with pancreatitis all within 2 months of each other. Those 11 days in the hospital were a nightmare for many reasons. I shall bring this up with my therapist. Still waiting for the DNA testing place to call me back. Left them a message already when they didn't call me after the referral when I realized my doctor gave them the wrong number.
I just hope today will be a better day than yesterday. I can't go to work until I get my tire back so I may have to go in tomorrow.
After another bad day with unexplained eye pain and irritation and bad anxiety I didn't take my second Wellbutrin yesterday. My eyes are not bothering me today.
My sandal broke on the way into the library so I had to wear one shoe there and to my optometrist's office. On the way home my low tire pressure indicator came on again (filled all the tires the previous night) and I had to go over the bridge to get back home. I hate bridges. As soon as I was over I felt the tire was going completely flat. Luckily after crossing the bridge I'm only about a mile and a half from home. The tire is completely shot but I'm thankful that I made it over the bridge. I'm also thankful my son was home. I had to take a half of a Lorazepam I was getting so anxious. I don't deal well with stress.
I don't know how I feel today; fell asleep by 10:00, woke up at 3:45 and finally got up at 5:00 when I couldn't fall back to sleep. What I wouldn't give to get a solid 8 hours and actually wake up refreshed.
I sometimes feel I have a mild form of PTST. Last year I lived through Hurricane Irma, moved into my house and then was hospitalized for 11 days with pancreatitis all within 2 months of each other. Those 11 days in the hospital were a nightmare for many reasons. I shall bring this up with my therapist. Still waiting for the DNA testing place to call me back. Left them a message already when they didn't call me after the referral when I realized my doctor gave them the wrong number.
I just hope today will be a better day than yesterday. I can't go to work until I get my tire back so I may have to go in tomorrow.
Instead of quitting your AD, maybe call your MD about anxiety and insomnia. Discuss Wellbutrin effects.
There are meds for those if you really need them...ie I have a rx for Klonopin to use only as needed...works for anxiety and sleep.
You know if you stop ADs there is no chance of improvement from their use. Are you giving up too easily??
Oh yes...one more thing. I realize I sound bossy but I have been where you are and made it to a good place.
When dealing with MDs it's necessary to be very specific about your problems...they cannot read your mind.
Inform her about your anxiety and sleep issues, give examples..."I only slept 4 hours last night" or
"I have so anxious and nervous I felt I could not function."
Tell her you took your son's lorazepam and maybe you'll get a prescriptÃon, as she knows it's illegal for you to take his meds..but if it's HELPING you, she should consider an anti-anxiety med.
Tell her also you are not taking the Wellbutrin...and why. It's not clear to me why you aren't taking it...she is not AWARE you aren't following her instructions...give her recommendations thought.
First off - you don't sound bossy. You sound like a person who is trying to help.
I do have my own script for Lorazepam. Got one about 15 years ago when I started having panic attacks. I took 1/2 of my son's Clonazepam last week to see if it would help the anxiety better than the Lorazepam. The DNA place finally called me back yesterday and I have an appointment for June 26th. Since the Wellbutrin was making me feel much worse I figure I'll just wait for the DNA testing so I don't have to be a guinea pig. I'll call the CNP that gave me the Wellbutrin script and tell her what's going on.
If I didn't have a job I might have tried to stick with the Wellbutrin but I was barely able to make it to work Monday the depression and anxiety was so bad. I've only felt that bad where I really couldn't function one other time in 40 years. I need to be able to function. I can't quit working for another few years. The CNP that prescribed the Wellbutrin said many people start feeling better in 7-10 days. I gave up after a week because I was getting seriously suicidal, had more anxiety, eye pain and a weird back pain that I haven't had before. I realize it takes up to 6 weeks to start feeling better but I don't want to feel worse while waiting for it to start working. It's obviously not the right medicine for me. I have been on many AD's before and none of them made me feel worse before making me feel better.
At one time I seriously considered ECT but when I was told I still might have to take meds I changed my mind. I don't understand how we can put men on the moon, put a powerful computer in something the size of a smartphone but we can't find a cure for the common cold or mental issues without all the side effects. It's frustrating and at times I just feel like giving up especially when I'm watching TV and a commercial comes on for an anti-depressant and then this list of side effects come on. I hoping, really hoping this DNA testing can pinpoint what medicine will help me. They also have psychiatrists & psychologists on staff so maybe this time I'll get the help I so desperately need.
Went to sleep at 9 p.m. that's how tired I was. I woke up at 4:55. Almost 8 hours! Of course I had to take an extra half of my Lorazepam to do it but maybe I won't be so tired today. Yesterday I wanted to take a nap before I even had to leave for work.
Good wishes for the appt....hope it brings some resolution, finally. I'm sure it's exhausting to go back and forth with meds and side effects. Sounds like you are in with a good psych grp, hopefully you can stick with their plan and avoid bad effects.
Thank you so much. I did take the Wellbutrin despite my fears Monday night and yesterday I was much better. I had found when I get tired the depression gets much worse and Sunday night I had a terrible night's sleep.
Sometimes my bad thoughts are overwhelming but I've know my previous attempts that there is a reason I am still here. When I'm feeling "normal" I want to know how my story ends. When I'm depressed I just want the inner pain to stop. Does that make sense? I was tempted to call the Suicide Hot Line on Monday but really what are they going to do for me except give me a bunch of platitudes about how I have so much to live for, blah, blah, blah.
Sometimes it helps just to have a kind ear at the other end of the phone. I would encourage calling in the future.
I may just do that. While the depression is a little better, the anxiety is not. I just took 1/2 mg of a Lorazepam since I have to work today. I wake up too early and my mind won't shut up.
Well, I may as well join in. I've been taking Cymbalta for about 15 years. It takes the edge off. What I mean is, I stop taking it and I get irritated REAL easy...LOL. That's what I mean when I say it takes the edge off.
Right now I have an ache on the top of my foot that will not go away. They say depression causes aches and pains.
I'm sad most of the time and am fatigued. I do have joy in my heart but in this world I seem sad, I guess.
The born again Christian who said you could pray depression away...LOL.
I have walked the floors of hell and wouldn't wish this on anyone. I have been where it seems God has turned His face from me. The mind can do a lot of good and it can do a lot of damage.
I never had much patience for someone with mental issues. I thought it was all in there head until I became depressed.
Now I have compassion for others.
Hope I haven't offended anyone, I sure don't mean to.
Last edited by Dawter; 06-21-2018 at 06:03 PM..
Reason: spelling
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