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. They aren't there to solve the problems FOR you, but suggest and help with the multitude of options which such consideration creates. And in things which have to work, feel free to ask for suggestions. But figure out your answers yourself.
One thing which really saved me was a group. Most have a contact with county mental health, but isn't part of them. The DBSA stands for Depression and Bipolar Support Assn. Its run by members and uses county doctors usually as advisers. But it cost nothing. You can come and listen and nobody will make you talk, and you can talk about your problem with people who live in your world. The rules say respect for everyone. But you can ask others for suggestions, and as these are people who directly use the 'system' but also know things from the other side, you get a point of view which isn't common. And its not about talking people into doing it their way, but considering ALL the factors which one now in the situation may not see or maybe just not value.
One thing, with medication. Check anything you take for side effect which might effect your ability to pay attention to driving and traffic. If you don't feel 'right' then don't drive if its effecting concentration and attention. Remember that vehical is only going to do what you ask of it, and if you have concentration or fatigue or other things which make your attention questionable, think about it first.
Well that's why a therapist is no good for me. I need someone to solve my most complex problems. I consulted my horoscope (not the ones in the paper..Vedic astrology) about a particular problem desperate for answers that I wasn't getting from the "standard" people I encounter and unsurprisingly one time it said the same thing: that I have to figure it out myself. DUH! If I was able to do that why the hell would I be reading your stupid forecast?
I'm not sure about the group. I have thought there needs to be a group for ND people which includes some that overcome a lot of the same things and want to help others. The only problem with a group is I don't do well with that kind of thing because it makes me feel exposed so I'm a more intimate conversationalist. I used to join a support group once for something else and it felt weird too because I could tell immediately that I wasn't really wanted there. They were a non judgemental place so it's not like they were mean but it's more that I didn't belong and one time I even offended another member by them misunderstanding me. I think an ND group is the only group that would work perhaps but even then it will be difficult especially considering the fact that I had joined a group once that was more my type of people and I felt funny there too.
I don't take anything that is not easy to pronounce which means no standard medication. I do drink tea but not every day and only one bottle per day. I do know I'm sensitive to caffeine in the sense that it will make me more prone to sleepiness but you also have to consider that I'm around people a lot for work so dealing with people is even harder with caffeine in my system.
Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron
You father obviously is affecting you....your therapist should be helping you to work through those issues. The most helpful thing a therapist ever said to me that all the RESULTING problems and issues I had from my childhood WERE NOT MY FAULT.
Have you had a medical checkup lately?
Can't figure why you are so hung up on driving...what does your therapist say???
It doesn't matter because the fact is by blood I am a piece of him which means until I am more successful at him in life the piece will be a significant amount. I really can't get away from that fact unless my life significantly changes and when the right positive changes happen that means I can say he's just my sperm donor and believe it. Also though my actions had little to do with it a lot of the reason my mom put up with him was because of me. Maybe I can't help being born but something needs to change because if it did that would mean all that she put up with was very much worth it.
Not lately but recent enough. I had a blood test like last year I think? I went to urgent care a few months ago. I already know my physical issues and am already nursing myself with the natural means to handle them. The only thing I haven't been able to figure out fully is my constant urge to urinate but the last time I went about that..they just thought I had a UTI and I didn't.
What do you mean? Why I'm trying to drive? Or why I'm afraid to do it?
Last edited by Nickchick; 04-21-2018 at 10:53 PM..
If only the people would make Meditation a part of their lives and daily would be best. Meditation does so much for our serotonin levels and I do 15 minutes or more after I wake up in the mornings.
I started out getting into group meditations and then after years just do it myself at home and it does POWER UP the brain. Meditation is SO CHEAP but so ignored by the majority of the population, they would rather put so much trust and faith in drugs. I did for 10 yrs before I knew what I know today. For those 10 yrs it was the thyroid and I was getting NO help from the MD's...but lots of drugs. grrrrrrrrrrr
How many of your doctors mention this serotonin meditation connection? None...
If only the people would make Meditation a part of their lives and daily would be best. Meditation does so much for our serotonin levels and I do 15 minutes or more after I wake up in the mornings.
I started out getting into group meditations and then after years just do it myself at home and it does POWER UP the brain. Meditation is SO CHEAP but so ignored by the majority of the population, they would rather put so much trust and faith in drugs. I did for 10 yrs before I knew what I know today. For those 10 yrs it was the thyroid and I was getting NO help from the MD's...but lots of drugs. grrrrrrrrrrr
How many of your doctors mention this serotonin meditation connection? None...
You're absolutely right about meditation. I have had this suggested to me by numerous people and it really does work. There is a free app called Insight Timer, but most of the other apps are only free for a week or two and will cost around $60 a year.
The further you go into meditation, the better your mental health will be. There are no negatives to meditation, none whatsoever. Only positives. And the more you know, and the more you practice, the less anxiety and depression you will suffer from. And it's been backed up by numerous medical studies that I've read about.
You're absolutely right about meditation. I have had this suggested to me by numerous people and it really does work. There is a free app called Insight Timer, but most of the other apps are only free for a week or two and will cost around $60 a year.
The further you go into meditation, the better your mental health will be. There are no negatives to meditation, none whatsoever. Only positives. And the more you know, and the more you practice, the less anxiety and depression you will suffer from. And it's been backed up by numerous medical studies that I've read about.
It's a great wonder that you are getting results, so many around here would too, IF they would only DO IT. So many take A/D's and still deal with talk about their depression. Go outside the medical thinking box.
You're absolutely right about meditation. I have had this suggested to me by numerous people and it really does work. There is a free app called Insight Timer, but most of the other apps are only free for a week or two and will cost around $60 a year.
The further you go into meditation, the better your mental health will be. There are no negatives to meditation, none whatsoever. Only positives. And the more you know, and the more you practice, the less anxiety and depression you will suffer from. And it's been backed up by numerous medical studies that I've read about.
There is a negative for me. I end up getting even more discouraged. I don't discount it works for a lot of people. I'm sure it does but it's similar to therapy. It's good for many people. It just doesn't work on my type of brain.
It's like how I tried hypnotizing myself to find something or obtain more wealth. It did nothing.
Also there was a book that I bought from Amazon which I guess has a form of meditation. It seems I was able to turn the excess energy off to a degree so it worked but now I cannot turn back on at will and that's about the only time it has worked.
Music is what helps me and has helped in the past but it can only do so much. It might soothe me for the moment but it doesn't solve my problems (i.e. it's not going to help me understand the learner's test so I can pass it again)
I wish I wasn't so complex sometimes because everything I try with so many things it doesn't work out. It reiterates I'm a failure. I've tried utilizing the LOA too. I can't get anywhere with that either. I have motivational backgrounds saved on my phone..can't successfully get the words to be true to my life although I do try.
Last edited by Nickchick; 05-02-2018 at 01:06 PM..
Sorry to hear about your situation. I sometimes feel exactly like not getting out of bed, and I have no diagnosis to excuse it. And I have to say that, twice, there were deaths in my family that really sent me into a tailspin of depression where I was completely inert. Your post doesn't indicate whether your depression was triggered by a particular event, or something else is going on.
I'm very cautious, and skeptical, about anti-depressants, since I know that they are over-prescribed, and know that "coincidentally" the "need" for them coincided with Big Pharma developing them and advertising them. I wish people would keep in mind that there are some very large influential companies whose entire goal is to keep you taking as many medications as possible for as long as possible.
However, that said, I'm not good at motivating myself, but there won't be food unless I get it. Just like you know that your cats won't eat unless you feed them. I didn't read the whole thread, but I assume you're aware that the single best thing for depression is exercise.
Major Depressive Disorder since childhood but only recently have been successfully treated with therapy and medications. I also am diagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder, a more serious problem....currently in remission. There are 9 criteria that need to be met to have this diagnosis. Yes, as you often hear, it stems from childhood
physical and emotional abuse....
I decide whether to take ADs and don't need anyone on cd to give their approval/disapproval.
Exercise helps but you must get over severe inertia first....I've sat outside for 10-15 min each day, in the sun, this week. Vit D and the light that goes through the eyes to the pineal gland, same as a lightbox, really increases well-being. Starting to garden too and can feel the positive benefits from that.
So most of us feel better in summer than winter.
Last edited by greatblueheron; 05-02-2018 at 04:16 PM..
I have tried meditation but my mind won't relax at all. I have dysthymia and anxiety. Dysthymia is tricky because most people I meet outside of my family have no clue I am depressed most days. I get little joy out of anything in my life. I don't know what it's like to be "happy". If I didn't have pets and a job two days a week I would stay in bed most days. Unfortunately I don't sleep well. Last night, for instance, I went to bed at around 11:30, woke at 5 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. This happens most nights. My eyes pop open and that's it - the mind is off and running. I am always tired.
I was on anti-depressants for years and they always stopped working after a year or so. Two years ago I slowly weaned myself off of them and I was doing okay with my vitamins until the last 6 months or so when I was hospitalized for eleven days less than two weeks after moving into my own house. Went through hurricane Irma before that also and it was a terrifying experience.
I used to love my job but now that I moved it is 40 minutes away in awful traffic and I have come to hate driving. I can't quit financially but because I'm 63 and on SSDI for fibro & depression I'm only allowed to make a certain amount each month and it's hard finding a part time job at my age. Physically & mentally I could not work more than the two days I work now and even at that it's only 12 hours a week. The benzo I take really messes with my memory also so I'm not sure what kind of a job I could even be successful at now.
My GP prescribed Lorazepam around 2002 when I started experiencing work related panic attacks (before I went on SSDI). At one point I took 3 mg a day but now take 2 mg. an hour before bed. My husband died in 2010 and eight months later I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Three years later thyroid cancer. Had a horrible childhood.
I hate my life and have actually had two serious suicide attempts in the last 10 years. I was hospitalized which did nothing to help me. I've been depressed since I was in my teens. I often think about pulling my car into the garage and shutting the door leaving the engine running. I even went as far as looking up the success rates. Read that newer cars aren't as effective for this method of suicide like the older cars. But then I think about my sons who lost their father in 2010 and how the one that lives with me now would probably be the one to find me and I just couldn't do that to him; he has his own issues with anxiety and depression.
I had chest pains the other day and didn't say a word to anybody because I was hoping it was a heart attack and I would be out of here. Unfortunately it is hard to get help in my area. Most psychiatrists won't take Medicare and/or Tricare. I will probably call my psychologist but I know if I tell him I think about suicide regularly I will be Baker Acted so I won't say a word. If I thought hospitalization would actually help I would go that route again but it doesn't and didn't for me the two times I was there. If cancer returns I will not seek treatment. I also have almost constant pain somewhere in my body daily because of the fibromyalgia. This is not an enjoyable way to live.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Last edited by chiluvr1228; 05-20-2018 at 08:44 AM..
I have tried meditation but my mind won't relax at all. I have dysthymia and anxiety. Dysthymia is tricky because most people I meet outside of my family have no clue I am depressed most days. I get little joy out of anything in my life. I don't know what it's like to be "happy". If I didn't have pets and a job two days a week I would stay in bed most days. Unfortunately I don't sleep well. Last night, for instance, I went to bed at around 11:30, woke at 5 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. This happens most nights. My eyes pop open and that's it - the mind is off and running. I am always tired.
I was on anti-depressants for years and they always stopped working after a year or so. Two years ago I slowly weaned myself off of them and I was doing okay with my vitamins until the last 6 months or so when I was hospitalized for eleven days less than two weeks after moving into my own house. Went through hurricane Irma before that also and it was a terrifying experience.
I used to love my job but now that I moved it is 40 minutes away in awful traffic and I have come to hate driving. I can't quit financially but because I'm 63 and on SSDI for fibro & depression I'm only allowed to make a certain amount each month and it's hard finding a part time job at my age. Physically & mentally I could not work more than the two days I work now and even at that it's only 12 hours a week. The benzo I take really messes with my memory also so I'm not sure what kind of a job I could even be successful at now.
My GP prescribed Lorazepam around 2002 when I started experiencing work related panic attacks (before I went on SSDI). At one point I took 3 mg a day but now take 2 mg. an hour before bed. My husband died in 2010 and eight months later I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Three years later thyroid cancer. Had a horrible childhood.
I hate my life and have actually had two serious suicide attempts in the last 10 years. I was hospitalized which did nothing to help me. I've been depressed since I was in my teens. I often think about pulling my car into the garage and shutting the door leaving the engine running. I even went as far as looking up the success rates. Read that newer cars aren't as effective for this method of suicide like the older cars. But then I think about my sons who lost their father in 2010 and how the one that lives with me now would probably be the one to find me and I just couldn't do that to him; he has his own issues with anxiety and depression.
I had chest pains the other day and didn't say a word to anybody because I was hoping it was a heart attack and I would be out of here. Unfortunately it is hard to get help in my area. Most psychiatrists won't take Medicare and/or Tricare. I will probably call my psychologist but I know if I tell him I think about suicide regularly I will be Baker Acted so I won't say a word. If I thought hospitalization would actually help I would go that route again but it doesn't and didn't for me the two times I was there. If cancer returns I will not seek treatment. I also have almost constant pain somewhere in my body daily because of the fibromyalgia. This is not an enjoyable way to live.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Fellow traveler:
What a background you have....sorry to hear you've had so many sad occurrences. I know you are venting and don't need advice...you've already been through most all treatment options.
But, I'll just mention my own hard-to-treat depression...and what seems to work...
therapy along with 2 different antidepressants, plus Seroquel low dose plus another drug used off label. It took years and many trials to reach this point. I'm grateful for the medications that are available....hope you rethink them. My primary care provider took over prescribing these once the psychiatrist recommended this regimen.
Still have bad days but infrequently. I don't know what it's like for you but wish you can find some hope and keep trying. There are meds that are used off label for the issues surrounding depression...when the neurotransmitters necessary for well being are reduced, it's hard to gain improvement without antidepressants. They all work differently, so to have tried one or two does not mean you've exhausted their use.
Keep coming to the thread....those of us who understand can be here for you. I'm not ignoring your comments on suicide. You know you are in a very serious spot. PLEASE try again with your MD regarding newer care for depression. There are now meds for treatment-resistant depression...which you could possibly have...new drugs are constantly being approved by the FDA.
I've had depression since childhood too. Even more reason to search again for ways to live without
the pain.
Thank you for your response. I have been on: Depakote, Lexapro, Celexa, Cymbalta & Lamictal. They all worked great at first except the Depakote which made me manic. I almost enjoyed that rather than the depression. I actually felt like a normal person on the others but it never lasted more than two years and when they quit working I felt worse than I did before. Then the psychiatrist would change the medication and it would start all over again. When I went to bed at night I used to pray to die in my sleep. I even considered ECT when in the hospital last time.
I also read recently that dysthymia is very hard to treat once you get to be my age. I feel like it is pretty hopeless. I will be living with this till the day I die.
However, I am going to call my therapist this week and see if I can get in to see him. Maybe he can give me some help and suggestions for a private psychiatrist and not the one at our county clinic. That place was enough to give anybody anxiety as they treat drug addicts, etc. and it's not close by at all.
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