How do you join in Minnesota? (Walker: transplants, lenders, homes)

[WriterDude]

We all know about situations where we meet someone new. I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area for over 30 years, and I bounced through zillions of situations where I had smile shyly, kick an imaginary rock, and toss my ego in a skillet to introduce myself. I'm nerdy and introverted, so I call that "full frontal nerdity."

What would you all say is the best approach in Minnesota? Is it better to just launch in, be yourself, and let Minnesotans get comfortable with you? Is it better to sit quietly on the sidelines and scatter noncommittal statements before speaking up? Is it better to open with a goodwill gesture, keep your hands at the 10 and 2 position, and move verrrry slowly? Is it better to meet people solely through organized contexts, such as bowling leagues, Meetup groups, and charity events? Are non-natives and newly-landed transplants "jerks until proven cool?"

I realize the social context here is an Internet message board, with communications challenges just from the interaction space, but I don't want to stereotype my expectations. We're hoping to actively join to build a network of friends and acquaintances; I think the right approach will help. What do you think?

[shotz90s]

Slow and easy is best. I've lived here all my life and am the same way, full frontal so after a lifetime here I have a small group of close friends and thats it. However I have a large amount of acquaintances. There are plenty of clubs, charities and groups to suit many interests and those also can launch many, many new friendships. Don't be shocked if people are sort of quiet and distant from you right away. Its not us being snobs (well most of us, there are exceptions) but we tend to be a very stoic and quiet bunch until we get you figured out. After that it will lead to being invited out for drinks/dinner once in a while, then to homes and after that you're usually in. Outsiders aren't automatically judged unless some overwhelming oddity sticks out such as a penchant for goosing people you don't know at work LOL. Hope this helps.

[WriterDude]

Originally Posted by shotz90s

Slow and easy is best. I've lived here all my life and am the same way, full frontal so after a lifetime here I have a small group of close friends and thats it. However I have a large amount of acquaintances. There are plenty of clubs, charities and groups to suit many interests and those also can launch many, many new friendships. Don't be shocked if people are sort of quiet and distant from you right away. Its not us being snobs (well most of us, there are exceptions) but we tend to be a very stoic and quiet bunch until we get you figured out. After that it will lead to being invited out for drinks/dinner once in a while, then to homes and after that you're usually in. Outsiders aren't automatically judged unless some overwhelming oddity sticks out such as a penchant for goosing people you don't know at work LOL. Hope this helps.

That's just what I was hoping to hear, Shotz. I think most areas are the same, but after all of the noise about "Minnesota Nice," it's good to know that Minnesota is open to the casual approach.

Plus, I always get anxious about whether I'm embarrassing someone, so I try to make sure people don't feel cornered. It's easier for me to blend with the blenders and chirp with the chirpers.

Not to mention that from the outside, stereotypes abound: are folks in Minnesota like "Norm" from Fargo? Or are they like the crew from MST3K? For folks in Minnesota, what represents your view of a fair representation in a movie?

[shotz90s]

MN nice can be somewhat deceiving. Most of us will give the shirt off our back to someone unless we can't stand you haha.

Depending on the part of the state you're in it can go both ways. I have in-laws in the central part of the state that definitely came off the set of Fargo. The accent is dead on although if you bring it up to us some will get testy but I find it hilarious personally. Myself and "most" of my friends gravitate more towards the MST3k type (I MISS that show btw). I think in a lot of ways stereotypes are more exaggerations of only small, but funny, parts of each states/locations population. Like the accent, once you're out of a small section of central and northern MN, I don't notice it. But I live here too so take it with a grain of salt. You don't have to worry that one of us will wood-chipper you. Well most of us wouldn't anyhow!

[slamont61]

Every group is different as is each situation. I'd play it by ear and decide when you see for yourself how that setting plays out. No game plan necessary, we're not that bad.

[WriterDude]

Originally Posted by slamont61

Every group is different as is each situation. I'd play it by ear and decide when you see for yourself how that setting plays out. No game plan necessary, we're not that bad.

Thank you! That sounds good to me.

I'll keep asking about cultural things, though, because I never want to horribly offend someone through ignorance. (Or intentionally, either - no need to rock the boat, unless you're making it go faster by leaning into the turns.)

[WriterDude]

Originally Posted by shotz90s

I have in-laws in the central part of the state that definitely came off the set of Fargo. The accent is dead on although if you bring it up to us some will get testy but I find it hilarious personally. Myself and "most" of my friends gravitate more towards the MST3k type (I MISS that show btw). I think in a lot of ways stereotypes are more exaggerations of only small, but funny, parts of each states/locations population. Like the accent, once you're out of a small section of central and northern MN, I don't notice it.

Ya, ya, dontcha know.

I get the feeling I'll use some time learning local terms so I don't sound like a total rookie, but you're right; I don't want to adopt an accent for fear that someone will think I'm mocking them. It'll come in time; hopefully my southwestern flat accent won't paint me as too much of a stranger.

[Astron1000]

I've found that joining a group or two that interests you is a great way to break the ice in the Twin Cities. This is an extraordinary place for volunteers (consistently rated the #1 place for philanthropy). There are hundreds, if not thousands, of interest groups. Making friends is much easier in a shared experience environment.

[WriterDude]

Originally Posted by Astron1000

I've found that joining a group or two that interests you is a great way to break the ice in the Twin Cities. This is an extraordinary place for volunteers (consistently rated the #1 place for philanthropy). There are hundreds, if not thousands, of interest groups. Making friends is much easier in a shared experience environment.

Good points, thank you. Thanks for the volunteering suggestion, too - that's something I've been thinking about, but I wasn't aware that the TC was rated so high for philanthropy.

[chessgeek]

Originally Posted by WriterDude

Thank you! That sounds good to me.

I'll keep asking about cultural things, though, because I never want to horribly offend someone through ignorance. (Or intentionally, either - no need to rock the boat, unless you're making it go faster by leaning into the turns.)

When you find out that trhe culture is far more sophisticated and extensive than where you are from (AZ), you can thank them (Minnesotans) for being grateful more often than boastful, though Minnesota has much to be proud of (Guthrie Theater, Walker Art Ctr, more theater seats than other cities outside of NYC, music scene, etc). As for the language quirks ("You betcha; don'tcha know"...), probably no one under the age of 50 uses them any longer but they can still be funny. Fargo was a great movie, but keep in mind it is a good 17 years old now.