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1. You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make one think.
2. Morgantown has a Temple for Human Sacrifice? Where?? Please let me know, because I have at least three people to send right over. ;-)
3. Southern WV calls Morgantown, "Morganhole." Morgantown probably calls Charleston something, but I am not sure what that is, lol.
4. No matter where you go, all of those artsy little shops are going out of business because they just don't make enough money. In today's economy, they probably don't even net enough to call it pin money.
5. WV gave communities money to promote tourism, so naturally, they went out and beat the bushes for anything they could call attractions, then had brochures printed. As you saw, puffery abounds, sometimes.
You seem like the dour sort, and for that I feel sorry for you. But, since you live in northern PA your depressed outlook on life is somewhat understandable.
Further understand this... Morgantown is not like your part of PA. We have one of the Nation's lowest unemployment rates and our town is in prosperity mode and growing. The people from other parts of our state who call us names do so out of abject envy, because their areas are in the same mode as the area from which you come. They try to compensate with lame attempts at put downs. There is a reason for our continued growth. It has to do with the outstanding qualities of our people and the particular attributes of our town. The fact that they come through in spite of the overall negative economy is a further testiment to our strength.
In case there are any other suckers – er, tourists – out there reading the hype of the Greater Morgantown Visitors’ Guide, let me save you some trouble. Skip Morgantown. Spend your day doing something constructive, like hitting your head with a hammer.
The woman who “helped” us (and I use the term loosely) at the downtown visitors’ center never smiled. Not once. She looked like she’d just eaten a sour pickle. When I asked about nearby surface parking for the bike trail, she stared as if I’d requested directions to the Temple for Human Sacrifice.
The bike trail was OK, if you don’t mind biking 6 minutes in one direction to learn that one end of the trail is closed…returning to the midpoint…and biking 7 minutes in the other direction to discover that the other end is also closed. Yes, major portions of the trail are under construction at the start of the autumn biking season. Nice touch.
The guidebook makes the city’s Personal Rapid Transit system sound like the eighth wonder of the world. In reality, the PRT is a crumbling, inefficient and confusing operation that was probably auctioned off from Disneyland 30 years ago. You can’t actually reach many stops shown on the guidebook’s map. For a while we wondered if we’d even get back to our starting point. (If you ride the PRT, bring lots of quarters.) One highlight of the trip: seeing the quivering body of a dead – I hope – chipmunk electrocuted on the track. Later I learned that WVU students refer to the PRT as the Pretty Retarded Train.
When we asked a student how to reach the WVU Arboretum, she said: “You mean the place with the trees?” I hope she wasn’t a horticulture major.
Next I approached an older woman, who said the Arboretum was on the other side of the freeway. Referring to my Green Bay Packers cap, she said we’d get run over if we tried to cross the highway. Nice way to welcome an out-of-towner, eh? I hope all Pittsburgh Steelers fans aren’t such sore losers. Later it dawned on me: the whole state of West Virginia has just one sports team: West Virginia University. So they have to root for an NFL franchise in another state! Sad.
The tourist guidebook has other cute little bait-and-switches. One place described as a collection of artsy shops is currently being converted into legal offices. Another store supposedly has loads of Don Knotts merchandise; this amounts to one section of store shelving about five feet across. I guess the pickle lady at the tourism bureau is so busy snubbing tourists that she doesn’t have time to update the guidebook.
We finally gave up and went to nearby Cooper’s Rock State Forest, which was fabulous. It’s well outside the gravitational sucker-pull of Morgantown tourism. Go there instead, and you’ll have a fantastic day.
Ha! Typical Cheesehead.
Besides, isn't it a parole violation to cross the state line?
Yeah, the last time I was in Minnesota the only thing I saw except for a couple towns with breweries were miles and miles of cow plops. There is more to do within 10 miles of Morgantown than there is to do in the whole state of Minnesota, unless you happen to be into cross country ski activities or ice fishing.
Yeah, the last time I was in Minnesota the only thing I saw except for a couple towns with breweries were miles and miles of cow plops. There is more to do within 10 miles of Morgantown than there is to do in the whole state of Minnesota, unless you happen to be into cross country ski activities or ice fishing.
Let's not make this state vs state. Minnesota is known for having great outdoor actrivities, like wv and friendly people, also like wv. Plus they have a real city, one that puts charleston to shame. Not sure if they have a city as nice as morgantown though.
I was just ragging on the cheesehead for coming here and getting on some high school kid working a summer job at the tourist counter. But, his ancestors were probably German, so that explains the attitude.
just for the record, Wisconsinite = Cheesehead and I was also ragging on the cheesehead. Sorry for dragging WV into my timeless battle of good vs evil....
I wonder what the guidebook in Bugtuck, Minnesota says to do on a slow summer day?
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