Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
In my opinion I think if you are still working and/or have kids Naples may not be for you. Naples is a town that revolves around retirees. Those men at your club being salty, inappropriate language, etc where at a club BAR. When you walk into a club bar/restaurant with young children where most of the people are retired you may get a few eye rolls. That's just the way it is, right or wrong.
It wasn’t an outdoor bar per se, although the outdoor bar was close by. Kids with parents also weren’t exactly uncommon eating there.
My point was more about people being clueless, entitled and self-absorbed. I saw this quite a bit.
Quote:
Why does it bother you that seasonal residents buy cases of wine, etc? They're retired and here to have fun! Why do you care about the people taking samples at Costco? The same thing occurs at every Costco.
I never said I was bothered, just amused by the purchases. Especially people buying several dozen eggs with the wine. Not sure why, but it was funny.
As to blocking aisles and getting run over by carts, etc. that again is a lack of situational awareness.
Quote:
We had neighbors in the Vineyards that still were working amongst mostly retirees. They didn't seem happy. Occasional comments to other neighbors as they would drive off with golf clubs or tennis rackets, "Must be nice!" Said in a nasty way. It bothered them that they were working and no one else was. That's on them. They moved.
From your experiences, I think you made the right choice to leave Naples. Hope you're happy in your new location.
I’ve never thought “must be nice” to someone who was off playing golf or tennis. After all, if they can afford the lifestyle that’s awesome.
But your first point is right - Naples caters to retirees and seasonal residents. So while I was working at a company there, and my kids going to school there, there weren’t the same amount of activities available as there are to retirees. It’s something worth considering for people looking at Naples who aren’t at least semi-retired, or who have younger children.
My wife and I (and our kids) like Naples enough that I see a condo there in our future, just not living full time, even when we retire at some point. It’s a great place for many though. I can’t knock all the great attributes of SWFL and I’m not sour as many previous forum posters have been.
[quote=markjames68;60198530]It wasn’t an outdoor bar per se, although the outdoor bar was close by. Kids with parents also weren’t exactly uncommon eating there.
My point was more about people being clueless, entitled and self-absorbed. I saw this quite a bit.
I never said I was bothered, just amused by the purchases. Especially people buying several dozen eggs with the wine. Not sure why, but it was funny.
As to blocking aisles and getting run over by carts, etc. that again is a lack of situational awareness.
I’ve never thought “must be nice” to someone who was off playing golf or tennis. After all, if they can afford the lifestyle that’s awesome.
But your first point is right - Naples caters to retirees and seasonal residents. So while I was working at a company there, and my kids going to school there, there weren’t the same amount of activities available as there are to retirees. It’s something worth considering for people looking at Naples who aren’t at least semi-retired, or who have younger children.
My wife and I (and our kids) like Naples enough that I see a condo there in our future, just not living full time, even when we retire at some point. It’s a great place for many though. I can’t knock all the great attributes of SWFL and I’m not sour as many previous forum posters have been.[/Q
Good points! Maybe some day DH and I will run into you and your wife and enjoy a drink together.
Naples! Great choice!
Hard to make friends?
What you may find (and we know about Covid issues, gee), is people at that age 'have their friend circles already'.
Sorry, it's just a fact...so yeah, it's harder. But not impossible!!!
My sister moved after her hubby's sudden Sepsis death and joined about 5 groups - never made a real coffee buddy after 1.5 yrs trying...
chatting only after the groups, tho.
(And many liked her ---within the group situation.)
First of all so sorry about your sister’s husband. That is so tragic. I think making friends as a single person is very difficult and I am so sorry to hear she struggled. Truly sorry. I sure hope she has readjusted where she is now.
We have moved cross country a number of times. Twice we lived in a planned community, the other two times closer to town, in a more traditional neighborhood. Without a doubt, we had a much easier time making friends in the planned community—particularly because we were at the same stage of life from the friends we made.
Now we find ourselves looking to make what we hope will be our final move. Our kids are grown and flown. Husband can work from home. It is a good time to try and establish ourselves for the next chapter. We do have established friends—many, where we live. However, they have younger kids and are behind us. No one stays in this very expensive tax town after kids are grown. So while we may be the first, we won’t be the last. As for me, I have been active in our community but our community is too expensive, cold, and too kid centric. We want to realize our dream of living in a warmer weather place and that is how we can to be exploring Naples. We love the mix of urbanity and beautiful beach, love the accessibility to restaurants etc. We imagine ourselves living closer to town but just question the mechanics of meeting new people.
So far, what I got was very good practical advice. Join a golf course (check), go to the gym or yoga (I am flabby so may be time, check), join newcomers (check), walk the dog (check)....these are all good things we can do. We will also network with our friends from home to meet “friends of friends.”
Any other suggestions?
Also, should we give more thought to a golf community? Hubby golfs, I am def more of a city person and not much of a joiner. I can join (see above) if I have to but the golf lifestyle is not a natural fit.
Any more advice and thoughts are so welcome. THANK YOU so much for your input.
Besides moving to Naples, have you considered any other towns or areas? I'm just curious because it sounds as if you have a bit of experience visiting the area. Have you weeded out other areas and picked Naples as you favorite? I am so curious as to the attributes that attract you. I find myself staring at the map of Florida as I am stuck inside during the artic Winter in Wisconsin. Naples is a very popular destination for people buying vacation homes from the Chicago and Milwaukee area.
Besides moving to Naples, have you considered any other towns or areas? I'm just curious because it sounds as if you have a bit of experience visiting the area. Have you weeded out other areas and picked Naples as you favorite? I am so curious as to the attributes that attract you. I find myself staring at the map of Florida as I am stuck inside during the artic Winter in Wisconsin. Naples is a very popular destination for people buying vacation homes from the Chicago and Milwaukee area.
Bonita Springs is immediately north of Naples and is a much more laid-back community especially in the Old Town/Old 41 areas. Estero continues this feeling and is immediately north of B.S.
If you notice, it seems odd that there always exists encouragement for you to disrupt your life and move. And they don't even KNOW anything about you! It's always "come on down, the water's fine", or "you'll love it", how the hell do they know that? you'd think that all of these people encouraging you have something to gain in convincing you to move and disrupt your lives, or they are trying to sell you something, or have a vested interest. Visiting here is not the same experience as living here at all. Their experience has nothing to do with you, your family, your marriage, your job, or your own happiness. They are total strangers, faceless cheerleaders engaging in boosterism.
I'm not going to "encourage" you to look at any community, city, state, or consider a move. That would be inappropriate because we DO NOT know each other one bit, not one tiny bit. It's not my business to attempt to affect your life's choices. If I knew you, that would be a different story. Hawking an area or city to any web stranger should be offensive to any thinking individual.
Providing highly personal opinions is another matter which is fine, but attempting to shape or infect your judgment seems offensive. Make your own judgment only after careful, personal review. Trust sources that are reliable.
What's good for them is not good for you. Be very very careful. Do your own careful research with trusted sources, not the web forums. There is always the good, the bad, and the ugly. Be a realist after your own mature discovery, and try not to be sucked into making emotional/empirical decisions affecting the remainder of your lives. Sometimes change is not a good thing, sometimes it is, but if you're conflicted, listen to yourself not others...they don't KNOW you and your family.
AttyShekelman,
You've given insightful advise. Having said that, I must also say that I think the overwhelming majority of people that post asking about a place, which they're considering relocating to, actually want the boost and cheerleading to give them the emotional boost and final bit of encouragement to go ahead and do it. I'm not saying that this is good or bad, it is what it is.
I too have lived across the country and in different regions of the country. I know what it's like to be plopped into a new environment. Each one is different and as you implied, what may be a great relocation experience for one family may be terrible for another. However, most will have to experience that reality personally before they can appreciate advice like yours.
Our children are grown also and we have considered the Naples area as well. We love where we are but eventually will want a lifestyle with more activities.
Joining a country club or being in a 55 plus is key. I grew up in a country club environment until I was 15 so I have great memories.
My parents were very social people and I know I will want that. My husband is fine with that also.
So, thanks for the honest replies and I read this section because I've been to Naples and I like it.
PS - Not necessarily giving up on SE Florida either.
You'll be fine as long as you try and not turn your part of Naples into what NJ was to you. Please understand that it will be very different. Not bad, just different.
I think that is the hardest thing for people.
As far as the cliques go, I was surprised how 65-80 year old women turn into the 7th grade lunchroom level of cattiness.
You'll be fine as long as you try and not turn your part of Naples into what NJ was to you. Please understand that it will be very different. Not bad, just different.
I think that is the hardest thing for people.
As far as the cliques go, I was surprised how 65-80 year old women turn into the 7th grade lunchroom level of cattiness.
There’s a reason - people progress from newborn to infant to child to teen to adult.
Then from adult to teen to child to infant to newborn.
My retired inlaws are more like teens than adults now in many ways.
First of all so sorry about your sister’s husband. That is so tragic. I think making friends as a single person is very difficult and I am so sorry to hear she struggled. Truly sorry. I sure hope she has readjusted where she is now.
We have moved cross country a number of times. Twice we lived in a planned community, the other two times closer to town, in a more traditional neighborhood. Without a doubt, we had a much easier time making friends in the planned community—particularly because we were at the same stage of life from the friends we made.
Now we find ourselves looking to make what we hope will be our final move. Our kids are grown and flown. Husband can work from home. It is a good time to try and establish ourselves for the next chapter. We do have established friends—many, where we live. However, they have younger kids and are behind us. No one stays in this very expensive tax town after kids are grown. So while we may be the first, we won’t be the last. As for me, I have been active in our community but our community is too expensive, cold, and too kid centric. We want to realize our dream of living in a warmer weather place and that is how we can to be exploring Naples. We love the mix of urbanity and beautiful beach, love the accessibility to restaurants etc. We imagine ourselves living closer to town but just question the mechanics of meeting new people.
So far, what I got was very good practical advice. Join a golf course (check), go to the gym or yoga (I am flabby so may be time, check), join newcomers (check), walk the dog (check)....these are all good things we can do. We will also network with our friends from home to meet “friends of friends.”
Any other suggestions?
Also, should we give more thought to a golf community? Hubby golfs, I am def more of a city person and not much of a joiner. I can join (see above) if I have to but the golf lifestyle is not a natural fit.
Any more advice and thoughts are so welcome. THANK YOU so much for your input.
Just go live there. You won't know what it is like anyway until you live there for at least a year or longer.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Now living on the SE Florida Coast
