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I'm sorry but I can't get with the folks who excuse the hoodrat behavior. I'm a male and believe me, I certainly gawk at a "fyyyyyyyyyne" laday but never do I make her feel uncomfortable with cat calling or getting physical in anyway, I don't care how provocatively she's dressed. Sure, if the opportunity arises and we happen to have good chemistry I'll go for the gold but I never make silly cat calls or make a lady feel uncomfortable.
I think some of these guys who do this should go to a gay lounge/club/bar and see how it feels to be dogged. That's even if they are handsome enough, since most guys who cat call tend to be butt trucking ugly.
It also alarms me that some guys tend to be brazen with their harassment. A couple of nights ago on my way to my mothers place in the Bronx (the Mecca of harassment in NYC), I get off the train at Wakefield, 241st. The cesspool and last frontier of the entire NYC (place should be nuked) and this beautiful, tall, slender Black lady is walking home, I'm walking behind her (no not following her, idiots) and we pass 3 goons one of which says "Can I escort you home young lady? You know its rough around these parts." And the hoodrat actually walks 5 inches behind her for an entire 2 blocks! I had to say something and him and I had a choice of words but the situation died down and at the end the women was home safe.
Last year, late night at Bryant Park this one Japanese lady is walking towards the subway when a homeless, creepy, black vagabond with a plastic sword follows her. And he's PHYSICALLY on top of her. I'm about 100 feet away but I knew this situation wasn't right. And what bothered me the most is that there were several construction workers for Con Ed and they were behemoth of men and NONE of them bothered to intervene in the situation. Me, not being a big guy at all, stepped in and nearly got into a physical altercation with the dangerous, volatile creature. Again, the Japanese lady got home and that's what mattered.
I don't try and play "Captain-Save-A-Hoe" or be a savior to women but I have two sisters, grew up with women, have plenty of lady friends and relatives and I would just want someone to do the same for them and make sure they are safe and sound when danger strikes with savage men who treat women like objects and I'll be damned if any guy were to do that to the women in my life. It makes me wonder if these guys have any sisters, mothers, aunts, nieces, daughters..It's sickening.
There's nothing much you can do about the cat calling but there should definitely be some sort of punished implemented if guys are caught being lewd to women and the physical approaches should be dealt with as well.
I don't try and play "Captain-Save-A-Hoe" or be a savior to women but I have two sisters, grew up with women, have plenty of lady friends and relatives and I would just want someone to do the same for them and make sure they are safe and sound when danger strikes with savage men who treat women like objects and I'll be damned if any guy were to do that to the women in my life. It makes me wonder if these guys have any sisters, mothers, aunts, nieces, daughters..It's sickening.
I feel the same way.
I am still suggesting to becareful of the how one is dressed....sort of like flashing cash, jewelry or ipods in the streets of nyc.
Why can women just act like a piece of juicy meat, and let us men do whatever we want to them? We
will leave them alone when we finished with them. Is that too much to ask?
As a guy with three sisters, I say Bravo to you Lital_The_Best! I just can't imagine people not helping
them if they are in danger. That's why I will not stand idle if anything happen to other women in front
of me. I will not be able to live with myself if something bad happen and I didn't do anything to help.
I will always try to control the animal within me not to say or do anything disrespectful to other women
knowing they are someone else sister or mother.
wear some dirty clothes or just don't look good. that might work i guess
lol. that still might be hard tho because you might have a very nice body
and a pretty face so good luck with it. you might be irresistable for all I
know.
I've been subjected to this ever since I was a pre-teen...and mind you, I wasn't wearing skimpy clothes or wearing garish makeup; my mom had taught me better than that. I would be on my way to the bus stop or the subway to go to school, with a full backpack, and some dudes...some of them grown (and old enough to know better) would try to holler at me. One actually put his arm around me and kissed me on my cheek when I was eleven years old. That absolutely frightened me. It's difficult to tell which dudes would try to cross that line so I'd rather not have to deal with it in the first place.
I also want to add to this. I know someone mentioned that women shouldn't walk out so provocatively since it will cause wanted and unwanted attention. I sort of agree with it. It's not to say they shouldn't BUT if you do, be fully aware that you will get attention from each and every angle from men and women know it, which is a big part of why they do that. And if you're going to dress so provocative, then you should at least be in the company of some men who can protect you. At the same time, its NOT an invite for sexual harassment of any kind and men should know better.
That's how you can tell which men get tail and which men don't.
You know nothing about me, so just stop it with the foolish assumptions. Secondly, no woman deserves to be sexually harassed or accosted. It's crazy that you believe it's acceptable and that I'm somehow responsible for their disrespectful actions. Thirdly, instead of blaming me, look inward and ask yourself, what is wrong with these males! What would make them believe that it's ok or acceptable to speak to women in such a disrespectful manner.
Lastly, perhaps you believe that I should be happy with any attention, even if it's coming from the worst type of guys. For the record, I have no interest in males who are unclean, unemployed, ignorant and just generally undesirable as friends, or potential boyfriends/husbands. No Thank You!
Whoaaaa their lady, calm your nerves! I don't condone or even support cat calling and harassment, hell I don't even partake in this type of stuff towards women on the streets. Again I just put on some shades look but don't touch. You can look and admire but just keep it going. Saying anything like bless you ma, or I think your sexy, or look at the booty on her is completely wrong regardless of what neighborhood a woman lives in. Cant forget the time while visiting a buddy in Fort Green I overheard I guy say "Yo fellas look at that booty on snowflake", while this transient girl from out in the sticks who moved to the area walked passed these ghetto guys. I just had to nod, laugh and smh in the process, stuff like this never gets old and yes its disrespectful and makes one very uneasy of her surroundings. Last I'm not blaming you, also this is something that you cant control even if you complain to the police about it. I Know what's wrong with males like that and I have no comment and again I smh and laugh at them. I would suggest for you is that when your lease is up to probably move closer to Manhattan like neighborhoods such as Brooklyn Heights or Williamsburg, that's if you can afford it. Or move to Manhattan nabes such as East Village, or Soho, or Kipps Bay where this type of cat calling from ghetto guys is virtually non existent. If you really don't want to be cat called, move to the sticks or to the sunbelt where women here can look like a 6 or a 7 physically in NYC can be a 2 in Miami, LA, New Orleans, Phoneix and Los Angeles, guaranteed you wont be call called in these places compared to voyeur centric NYC!
if it makes you feel better, just about all men do this...some just do it more than others, depending on where they are, who they are around, and whether they feel like being annoying. There is a reason why when you walk by construction sites in nyc (which are overwhelmingly white males) there are huge signs that state: If you are harassed, please call this number.
Just go about your business and ignore it. I am sure it is annoying but these guys are harmless and usually losers.
April--the hand on the arm guy, that's disgusting and is technically assault. I'm glad you reported him--
I hate saying that you shouldn't wear your headphones--you should be allowed to walk around as freely as anyone and jogging can be dull without music--but some guys *will* target a woman who seems as though she is easy to sneak up on. When do you jog? When I run during the day, that is when I'll wear headphones--if it's after dark, no headphones and carry mace in your hand.
Context does matter--this is NOT some strange kind of behavior relegated to one race. It really has much more to do with *powerless* men--men who are unemployed, men who are poor, who for whatever reason don't rate, so they will seek to exert power in any way they can. And race may matter in a way--I am very white-looking (small, blonde, etc.) and have almost never been harassed by black men in black neighborhoods. Latino men, though...
Again, WRT to context--the more you are in that neighborhood, the less they will harass you, strange to say. I don't know if it's a "she's a neighbor, I'll respect her" thing or a "I might have to see her on the street again tomorrow and she may get pissed if I harass her today" realization. Most guys harass you when they have nothing to lose--drivebys on the street, on the train, etc.
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Again this is the price you are going to have to pay for living her and not only that its going to change your mind and perception about men here who are all jerks and loosers, and you will build up a NYC feminimity attitude like walking fast, and ignore guys who say that except if he is real good looking or handsome, and that's how women here get trapped with these loosers who they swear off not to date.
You sound pathetic. No, harassment is not the price you pay. With your words, it's manifestly apparent why women walk away quickly from you! Hey, dude--NO ONE owes you attention, much less a date. Get that chip off your shoulder--if women are dating guys who are "real good looking or handsome," that's their business, not yours. Whining about women who won't date you or who have "a' attitude" is really, really unattractive.
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You could instead spend your energy helping women out of actually abusive situations, sexually abusive and otherwise.
Or contribute to causes around the hundreds of women who are raped and murdered in various other countries, every day. Imagine how much they would appreciate the relative safety of your neighborhood and street experience
.
Uh, what? WTH are you trying to minimize her experience? What a disgusting, condescending comment. Do you honestly deny there's a link between disrespect shown to women on the street--which often progesses into physical ACTS as the OP has already stated--and rape and abuse? You obviously know NOTHING about this topic.
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Some females are extremely provocatively dressed. They like to feel sexy nothing wrong with that and to draw the attention from horny guys. But they should also keep in mind that they can't choose who they attract. They are going to receive also a lot of unwanted attention on the side. So don't complain.
DISGUSTING. Shame on you!!!! Appalling comment.
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Compliments are one thing, "harassment" is another.
I hope she knows the difference, because many women here don't and don't care to know.
Most women do not want compliments either. A sweet, genuine compliment is nice, but most of the time a guy's just trying to get a response out of you and if you say thank you, then he wants to talk to you. Just leave us alone, man. Seriously, go pay compliments to your mother.
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I usually hate perverts who harass women like that, but I tend to believe this guy didn't do it on purpose,
maybe because he was decent looking and not the ghetto type with baggy pants.
Since you're not a woman, you really don't know much about this subject. Check out Gothamist sometime--pervs do not wear a uniform. It's ridiculous to say because he didn't have baggy pants...? Do you see how silly that sounds?
April, check out the hollaback site, it's very informative.
April--the hand on the arm guy, that's disgusting and is technically assault. I'm glad you reported him--
I hate saying that you shouldn't wear your headphones--you should be allowed to walk around as freely as anyone and jogging can be dull without music--but some guys *will* target a woman who seems as though she is easy to sneak up on. When do you jog? When I run during the day, that is when I'll wear headphones--if it's after dark, no headphones and carry mace in your hand.
Context does matter--this is NOT some strange kind of behavior relegated to one race. It really has much more to do with *powerless* men--men who are unemployed, men who are poor, who for whatever reason don't rate, so they will seek to exert power in any way they can. And race may matter in a way--I am very white-looking (small, blonde, etc.) and have almost never been harassed by black men in black neighborhoods. Latino men, though...
Again, WRT to context--the more you are in that neighborhood, the less they will harass you, strange to say. I don't know if it's a "she's a neighbor, I'll respect her" thing or a "I might have to see her on the street again tomorrow and she may get pissed if I harass her today" realization. Most guys harass you when they have nothing to lose--drivebys on the street, on the train, etc.
You sound pathetic. No, harassment is not the price you pay. With your words, it's manifestly apparent why women walk away quickly from you! Hey, dude--NO ONE owes you attention, much less a date. Get that chip off your shoulder--if women are dating guys who are "real good looking or handsome," that's their business, not yours. Whining about women who won't date you or who have "a' attitude" is really, really unattractive.
.
Uh, what? WTH are you trying to minimize her experience? What a disgusting, condescending comment. Do you honestly deny there's a link between disrespect shown to women on the street--which often progesses into physical ACTS as the OP has already stated--and rape and abuse? You obviously know NOTHING about this topic.
DISGUSTING. Shame on you!!!! Appalling comment.
Most women do not want compliments either. A sweet, genuine compliment is nice, but most of the time a guy's just trying to get a response out of you and if you say thank you, then he wants to talk to you. Just leave us alone, man. Seriously, go pay compliments to your mother.
Since you're not a woman, you really don't know much about this subject. Check out Gothamist sometime--pervs do not wear a uniform. It's ridiculous to say because he didn't have baggy pants...? Do you see how silly that sounds?
April, check out the hollaback site, it's very informative.
Run in the opposite direction, quickly.
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