Moving to NYC in my 30s (New York, York: neighborhood, living in, to eat)
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This is my first time posting after weeks of lurking. I'm moving to NYC early next year after living in San Diego for almost 18 years. My question is this: is it difficult as a 32 year old woman to find a good circle of friends and have a decent dating life? The reason I'm getting out of San Diego is the general vapidness, lack of culture and difficulty in meeting cultured/sophisticated men that seem to be crawling all over NYC. I know a few people there- is this enough to kind of "jump start" a social life? Is perpetual bachelordom a problem in NYC as I've heard? Thanks in advance for answering!
I moved several years ago in my early thirties and haven't had any problems whatsoever. However, it will take some amount of effort on your part, and you should try to get involved with groups that get together on a regular basis- as opposed to one-time only things, as it's much easier for frienships to develop this way.
I knew a few people when i moved here, and by and large most of the people who are my good friends now are not those same people. But I found even that first year that there were many willing and available people other than the ones I already knew to become friendly with.
Can I ask what you do for work or what your primary out of work activity is? These are probably the places where you'll be able to meet people.
In general I have found that the people who live here are more open to new friendships than where I have lived in the past. I'm sure part of that is my (new) willingness to reach out.
Just moved to a new neighborhood in NY a few years after being in a different borough and even though I retained all my old friends and see them often enough, I wanted to have new friends in my neighborhood. I am working on that now via various means; I think if you are willing to invite people to do things, that's a great start.
Also it's incredibly easy at age 32 to go on lots of quality dates thru match.com. I think if you are older (nearing 40) the opportunities slow down in terms of online dating, but you shouldn't have a problem.
Thanks for your response, Henna! I actually just sold my small business, but my background is in writing/teaching. I'm hoping to get a job in publishing/marketing and work my way up. I'm also willing to work at night as a cocktail waitress or bartender. How realistic is that? Also, is it realistic to find a long-term relationship in NYC, or is everyone trying to "trade up?"
It didn't work for me, but I have three close friends who live here, two are 38 and one 43who all met the man of their dreams on match.com (or maybe one of the other online sites) within the last 3 or 4 years. One is married with a baby, the second just got married last spring and the third is living with her bf and they just got a dog. (that's commitment for you.)
I also have a friend who started out here when she was about 31 or 32 (already had a bf) whose first job was as a waitress. She had some tough years work-wise and really worked her tail off to find the next better job every time she couldn't stand it any more but she is now 5 years later happily working as the main web/design person for a good gallery, which she had experience in from a job in another city before she arrived here.
Is match.com the main dating forum for young New Yorkers?? It seems to be for young Londoners. I was considering trying it but I work 100 hour weeks at a hospital so I end up just about having time to eat and sleep When I move to NYC I hope things will change.
Chooks I am sure things will work out for you in NYC but the question is you will be working night and day to afford to live there ( as opposed to anywhere else) giving you less time for dating.
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When I move to NYC I hope things will change.
