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This forum is filled with classist elitist Ah...'s
But to the point of the OP, I am not sure how you and your kids are going to adapt to living in close quaters after coming from a suburban life... I mean it's VERY different, I would look maybe into queens, the nicer parts or outright outside of the city, yes the commute will be long, but it is for everyone living in outside Manhattan... I don't how you are going to live in Manhattan unless you are making serious money and you can afford to buy a big town house or something like that and that still would be far inferior of what you have now.
Outside of weather and some other unpredictable delays Metro-North runs a far better and tighter ship than NYCTA/subways.
Yes, there are the odd times when a derailment, accident and or inclement weather cause delays or suspension of service. But those are far and few between compared to the near daily chaos that is the subway system.
Don't know about your company/office, but when bad weather is predicted large numbers of our people from LI or Conn elect to work from home and don't come in at all. If the weather arrives later in day people start clearing out early.
But he still has to get from Metro North to his job downtown, it's not a door to door commute.
This forum is filled with classist elitist Ah...'s
But to the point of the OP, I am not sure how you and your kids are going to adapt to living in close quaters after coming from a suburban life... I mean it's VERY different, I would look maybe into queens, the nicer parts or outright outside of the city, yes the commute will be long, but it is for everyone living in outside Manhattan... I don't how you are going to live in Manhattan unless you are making serious money and you can afford to buy a big town house or something like that and that still would be far inferior of what you have now.
Its a bigger issue than that. They have to change their whole mind set from living horizontally to living vertically which means cramped space. That could mean bunkbeds for the kids and sharing of space that they didn't have to share before. that means lots of sibling fights, lack of space for alone time, schools to think about especially with commute, making new friends. The husband have to consider commute time and what happens when there are delays, and storms that shut down his commute route. I only live about 30 minutes from midtown and sometimes it can take me 3 hours to get home by train when there is a fire on the track, or someone pulls the emergency break, or fight breaks out, or the other random nonsense.
...what makes you stay instead of moving to Westchester or Connecticut?
I ask because my husband just accepted a job in the Financial District and we're trying to figure out where to live. We have four kids (11, 8, 6, and 4) and are coming from the Northern Virginia suburbs. We love NYC and I have always wanted to live there. I have fantasized about city-living for years, even with our family. I have a small-space living board on Pinterest where I daydream about simplifying and downsizing and letting the city be our yard.
BUT...now that we actually have this opportunity and I'm thinking through the logistics of daily life, I'm not so sure. Maybe my fantasy was just that? A fantasy. When I started looking in Connecticut, everything made more sense.
The problem is my husband's commute. We've pretty much accepted that with his job, we will always face this tension between short commute/small living space vs. long commute/comfortable living space. We've been doing the long commute thing for several years now and we've gotten fairly used to it (it helps that he works from home a couple days a week, which he'll be able to do in NYC as well). But I know it's hard on him and a shorter commute would be life changing. I'm just trying to figure out if that can work for the rest of us.
Basically, I know all the arguments for staying in the suburbs and maintaining my soccer mom/minivan life (not least of which is that my kids are used to it). But for those larger families that live in the city, what makes you stay? Do you ever think about leaving?
Why do you want to live in NYC at this point? Do you mean Manhattan or are you open to other boroughs?
You have 4 children so you have to think about their educational needs. It may mean a dramatic change from your suburban lifestyle.
What do you consider a long commute? If you live near the Financial district, it's a shorter commute with less space. Living in New Jersey/ Connecticut means a longer commute with more space (maybe plus the added transportation costs.). Your husband will have to leave early in the morning to catch a train and come home later in the evening.- how will that affect your family life?
Hindsight is 20/20 but not really in this circumstance.
You had FOUR children, the youngest which was 4 years ago. Did you really think in 2014 that you would be earning a combined salary to comfortably fit FOUR children into NYC? Are you earning at least $1.5M combined between you and your husband? You want to live in a sleek large luxury Manhattan condo enough to fit FOUR kids right?
I just don't understand the thinking (or lack thereof) here. Please I am begging you. Break it down for me, because as an only child I just can't comprehend it. See this story time and time again and it just boggles my mind.
OK I just read that you're a soccer mom. Is your Husband a literally a CFO? Even CFO's sometimes only make $250k. If you are anything under $1M forget about anything outside of Westchester or Connecticut. I think it's incredibly risky for him to accept a job here. At his salary level unless he has connections you're looking at a 2-4 year tenure. C-suite is highly volatile position with a limited lifespan.
Ugh I just can't take it. I guess when you are born with a silver spoon in your mouth you don't have to think about reality. But believe me it's gonna hit you hard and I don't know if you'll be able to handle it. This is not gonna end well when the next downturn comes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoullessOne
So the husband have to support 4 kids and a wife on only his income? That's Affordable housing lottery jackpot if I ever saw one!!
If you think living in CT and giving your husband a 90 minute plus commute to and from work every day is not that bad then you really don't know. Speaking from experience.....most of these people that have that long commutes eventually end up having a girlfriend in the city while wife is at home busy with the kids. Is even worse when there is a nanny or maid taking care of the kids and house and wife basically does nothing all day. Husband will eventually finds his way out to a local bar where a sugar baby will pick him out like fresh meat.
Yikes. Didn't realize that posting a simple question would invite harsh judgments about the size of my family, assumptions about our income, or prophesies of my husband stepping out with a sugar baby while I sit around at home all day allegedly doing nothing. Lol.
I don't remember mentioning a sleek large luxury Manhattan condo in my original post. And we wouldn't move up there for only $250k, not that I feel compelled to share salary information with spiteful internet strangers. I will just assure you, SoullessOne (how apropos), that we could have a dozen children and we still wouldn't qualify for affordable housing.
Lots of cynical assumptions happening here. May you both heal from whatever has made you so miserable and mean.
Its a bigger issue than that. They have to change their whole mind set from living horizontally to living vertically which means cramped space. That could mean bunkbeds for the kids and sharing of space that they didn't have to share before. that means lots of sibling fights, lack of space for alone time, schools to think about especially with commute, making new friends. The husband have to consider commute time and what happens when there are delays, and storms that shut down his commute route. I only live about 30 minutes from midtown and sometimes it can take me 3 hours to get home by train when there is a fire on the track, or someone pulls the emergency break, or fight breaks out, or the other random nonsense.
We understand that moving to a city would require a change in mindset and lifestyle. Thankfully, humans are adaptable that way. And bunkbeds never hurt anybody.
We've been living in the DC area for the last 9 years, so we are well acquainted with train delays. Thankfully, he does have the option of working remotely when necessary. But yeah, sometimes if the issue is on the way home, it just sucks and we have to deal with it. But we try not to wind ourselves up too tightly.
One other thing you need to think about is schools. In NY it can be pretty complicated. Both my NYC born nephews attend public high schools that are really hard to get into (Hunter and Stuyvesant). If kids don't have the aptitude for those specialized high schools, it seems they could end up in a bad school. That is, unless you have the $$ to pay for private schools.
We homeschool*, which we would probably continue to do if we choose NYC. I know there are a lot of really big and active homeschool groups there, and of course amazing learning resources and opportunities for us to take advantage of. If we choose CT, we might consider public schools at some point. So basically, in the city, schools aren't a major consideration for us.
*I look forward to more vitriol from our cynical friends. Now I'm a soccer mom with a ton of kids, who doesn't work, AND I homeschool my kids like some kind of fundamentalist young-earther nut job. (For the record, we're atheists.)
It would be hard for me to make a recommendation without knowing your budget, but have you considered areas in queens like Forest Hills Gardens or Kew Gardens? Sure, the home won’t be as large as what you would get in Westchester or CT, nor will you have as big a yard but you would have a comfortable house. with Forest park nearby and a 20/25 minute commute to PennStation on the LIRR.
And should you ever choose to take a break from homeschooling, the schools are decent in the area.
We homeschool*, which we would probably continue to do if we choose NYC. I know there are a lot of really big and active homeschool groups there, and of course amazing learning resources and opportunities for us to take advantage of. If we choose CT, we might consider public schools at some point. So basically, in the city, schools aren't a major consideration for us.
*I look forward to more vitriol from our cynical friends. Now I'm a soccer mom with a ton of kids, who doesn't work, AND I homeschool my kids like some kind of fundamentalist young-earther nut job. (For the record, we're atheists.)
I think homeschooling would be perfect for kids living in a city. I was homeschooled for one year when we lived in a major international city overseas and the best part about it was all the field trips to museums, parks, festivals, neighborhood exploration, etc.
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Are you earning at least $1.5M combined between you and your husband? You want to live in a sleek large luxury Manhattan condo enough to fit FOUR kids right?
(For the record, we're atheists.)
