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I just received my parents to visit New York city yesterday, and they came from China for the first time. We went to a very luxurious restaurant called the Le Bernadin.
From the moment we walked in, you can tell that all the guests there look at you with a very cold and weird eye, even the waiters. But we did not think much, and ordered our dishes.
We ordered a type of soup, and during our dining, my father was bending down to drink the soup with a spoon and made some small slurping sound, customary to drink soup in China.
Then the two diners sitting next to our table said among themselves: "Chinese pigs, I hate them". They said it very quietly and thought I could not understand English.
Both of those diners look like very polite and civilized, in their 30's. One man and one woman, all in very good and formal clothing, and all look like high society people.
Is it illegal to slurp soup when drinking? The soup is very very hot, how else can you drink it? Also, is it not more pleasant to slurp, to add fun to eating? Why is it ok to be called a Chinese pig?
My father is a professor in China, and is very well educated. I of course never told him what those 2 diners said, but is this normal in New York?
Well, no, it's not and I'm sorry this happened. On the other hand it's not considered very polite to loudly slurp anything. So there's some fault on either side.
I will also say that at places like Le Bernardin, which is among the top-rated restaurants in NYC, they're used to 'regulars' and do treat them differently. Not that that's right, but it's what they do. They treat one timers or first timers by seating them in 'Siberia' and other maneuvers, as you've described.
Those diners were rude. They probably thought you couldn't understand English because you were probably not speaking English with your parents. That doesn't excuse their bad behavior.
On the other hand, when one travels it's not uncommon to learn about cultural norms of the country one is visiting. Things like NEVER to hold your hand up in a 'stop' posture in Greece to signifiy the number '5' because that's considered very bad luck. Or never to eat with the left hand in the Middle East or India, because that's considered 'unclean.' Similarly, one can educate oneself about appropriate table manners. In the US it's considered rude to slurp soup - or anything else.
On the other hand, when one travels it's not uncommon to learn about cultural norms of the country one is visiting. Things like NEVER to hold your hand up in a 'stop' posture in Greece to signifiy the number '5' because that's considered very bad luck. Or never to eat with the left hand in the Middle East or India, because that's considered 'unclean.' Similarly, one can educate oneself about appropriate table manners. In the US it's considered rude to slurp soup - or anything else.
Ok, I will respect yoru country and not slurp soup, But will americans respect our culture?
You call me a Chinese pig in your own country because I slurped soup, Ok I accept.
But what if you go to China as a visitor, and then tell the locals "Chinese pig", now is that acceptable?
Ok, I will respect yoru country and not slurp soup, But will americans respect our culture?
You call me a Chinese pig in your own country because I slurped soup, Ok I accept.
Just to clarify, WE did not call you a "Chinese pig," the other diners at the restaurant did. Viral is simply pointing out that there are cultural differences and if people are behaving in a way viewed as rude by their host country, they may find themselves being commented on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by saobi
But what if you go to China as a visitor, and then tell the locals "Chinese pig", now is that acceptable?
No one said it was acceptable, and your initial question was about something that happened here, not in China.
What a rude hateful statement to make about any one. You already know that if American's were visiting China and a Chinese person said ".........I hate them." That is would be considered rude and aggressive.
I hope you stayed well away from such aggressive patrons. You never know what their problems are and what makes them so sensitive to their surroundings that they seem so easily distracted by other peoples behavior.
No one will support what these diners said, which is not only rude but reflective of their own intolerance and insecurity. Le Bernadin is usually full of people that are full of themselves, many of whom could not withstand their own scrutiny. By no means should any experience there be thought of as an indication of general New Yorkers. Frankly, at any given time 75% of the patrons are probably not New Yorkers.
I should add that there are few things that can be described as a "normal situation" in NY. There are 8+ million of us that live here, a few million more that work here but live elsewhere, a couple of hundred thousand tourists, and there are vast differences among them all. Even with 100,000 idiots and small minded people, 99% of the rest of us don't act this way.
The people there are probably climbing the ranks of their career, earning high-six figures and thinking they are better than you and your parents (along with everyone who makes less than them, aka 98% of the US). :P
What a terrible experience. I, too, am sorry to hear that you were made uncomfortable with the ignorant comments of your fellow diners. It's not the norm as others have pointed out, and it's in fact, shameful. But, then again mere money does not equate with having class and there are well dressed boorish people in seemingly the most refined of places. Certainly, you encountered some of these very small, petty people, but never fear there are many more New Yorkers and Americans who are not xenophobic, who are actually polite and welcoming.
I agree with Viral, although what happened to OP is disgusting to say the least - sometimes cultural differences are noticed and it's about integrating where one is.
Of course that does not mean tourist who are there for 2 weeks should be Americans, but if I apply the same scenario in Australia - it would have been considered extremely rude.
If it were me - I would have confronted the person(s). Of course, I do not know the actual situation, the restaurant in concern (by the posts here - assume its high class) so I may not make a scene. But how rude is it.
But I can tell you so much - and please dont get me wrong here. I had my parents visit me from an Asian country and there are certain things I noticed and told them they better not do. What I am saying is - it's critical to be romans when in Rome thats all.
Anyway - hope the rest of the trip is +ve mate.
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