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How much younger are we talking? Elementary School? Middle school? Earlier in high school?
In middle school, sometimes people stop talking to certain friends because they're too concerned with fitting in. That's what my childhood best friend did to me. In 8th grade, he left me for the "cool" crowd.
But like I said, if your experience is anything like mine, your high school friends might ignore you during college.
I know it's sad to think of, but I'm trying to help you out by warning you about what might happen. I sure wish someone told me about this when I was about to start college.
In elementary and middle school, it hasn't happened anymore since I started high school though.
But I live in a small town and I'm probably related to the majority of the people here anyway. (seriously) And there are some people that live in my city that I had no idea I was related to them!
You might be onto something. This thread is about high school friends. But for that matter, I'm not even very close with my friends from my freshman year of college. All we had in common was the fact that we were freshmen. And if it weren't for facebook, we probably never would of met. But I'm not saying it's a bad thing to meet people on facebook at the start of college. If facebook didn't exist, that would make for a lonely freshman year. So I'm glad I met people on facebook, even if we're not close anymore.
Some of my friends from freshman year are no longer friends with me. Some of us are still friends but not very close. And there's one person I'm still close with, but we didn't see each other much this past semester because our schedules were so different.
And a lot of my friends from freshman year hate each other now so it's not like we can all hang out in a big group anymore like we used to.
As a sophomore, I took a lot of upper level classes in my major so I met people I had more in common with. My group of friends during sophomore year were totally different than my group of friends during freshman year. And frankly, I prefer the friends I made this past year.
11 years. Got my GED at 15 after 10th grade and have been working ever since to help my single mother.
If you only went to high school for 2 years, you didn't have the typical high school experience. So I can see why you're not friends with anyone from high school.
But I wasn't one of the "cool kids" in high school either so I can relate.
I'm 25 and when I graduated high school I stayed good friends with a decent amount of people from school. I had about 50 from my graduating class go to the same university, which was kind of annoying but it was nice to have some familiar faces. However, I stopped seeing them as much and mostly hung out with new friends and high school friends with whom I'd managed to stay close.
I think a lot of it is just a matter of life direction. The college experience for me could be totally different than the college experience for someone who was a decent friend. I found that with friends who went to different schools we could either keep in touch or still feel like friends even if we hadn't talked in a long time. If someone just stopped talking to me (and I wasn't a detriment to his life in some way), that person probably wasn't worth my friendship in the first place.
What if they're like me and went 2,000 miles away for college? There are people from high school I stopped talking to. Not because I dislike them, but because it's just too hard to stay in touch with everyone when you're no longer going to school together.
How much younger are we talking? Elementary School? Middle school? Earlier in high school?
In middle school, sometimes people stop talking to certain friends because they're too concerned with fitting in. That's what my childhood best friend did to me. In 8th grade, he left me for the "cool" crowd.
But like I said, if your experience is anything like mine, your high school friends might ignore you during college.
I know it's sad to think of, but I'm trying to help you out by warning you about what might happen. I sure wish someone told me about this when I was about to start college.
For me, there was a big disconnect (not on my end) after high school, because I was one of only a very few in my small graduating class who went to a four-year college out of state right away. The majority of my classmates attended the local community college, either terminally, or for a couple of years before heading on to a school where they could get a bachelor's degree. All but one of my close friends went the community college route, and most of them carpooled, continued to eat lunch together daily, organize their classes together, etc., and operated much the same as they did as high school students. My experience of moving several hundred miles away to another state to attend a residential school where I knew absolutely nobody was different, and set me apart. When I would come home at holidays, I would be excited to visit and reconnect, but it turned out that I wasn't really part of the group anymore, to my surprise. As the one who went away, I was really good about staying in touch (and this was pre-facebook and other social media, and even pre-widespread mobile phones, at least for students...it's MUCH easier to stay in touch now than it was then...then, it took actual effort... writing letters and long-distance prepaid phone cards!), but nobody else was. There was also, I've since learned, a little bit of envy on some people's parts, because they wanted to go away to school, but for various reasons, didn't make it happen.
In the time since, I've maintained ties to the couple of people in the group that I was closest to, but as adults, it's more one-on-one...the group never really did hang out much after we went different directions for college, and the times we tried, it was always awkward.
For me, there was a big disconnect (not on my end) after high school, because I was one of only a very few in my small graduating class who went to a four-year college out of state right away. The majority of my classmates attended the local community college, either terminally, or for a couple of years before heading on to a school where they could get a bachelor's degree. All but one of my close friends went the community college route, and most of them carpooled, continued to eat lunch together daily, organize their classes together, etc., and operated much the same as they did as high school students. My experience of moving several hundred miles away to another state to attend a residential school where I knew absolutely nobody was different, and set me apart. When I would come home at holidays, I would be excited to visit and reconnect, but it turned out that I wasn't really part of the group anymore, to my surprise. As the one who went away, I was really good about staying in touch (and this was pre-facebook and other social media, and even pre-widespread mobile phones, at least for students...it's MUCH easier to stay in touch now than it was then...then, it took actual effort... writing letters and long-distance prepaid phone cards!), but nobody else was. There was also, I've since learned, a little bit of envy on some people's parts, because they wanted to go away to school, but for various reasons, didn't make it happen.
In the time since, I've maintained ties to the couple of people in the group that I was closest to, but as adults, it's more one-on-one...the group never really did hang out much after we went different directions for college, and the times we tried, it was always awkward.
I went to college far away so I can relate.
I see the same thing you described among my classmates from high school. A lot of them either went to a community college or they went to an in-state college with a lot of people from high school. And they continue to hang out with the same people from high school.
On a previous post, I remember you said how some people are so over high school. Ironically, the people that are so over high school are also the people that continue to hang out with the same exact people from high school (at least that's how it is in the town where I went to high school).
At my college, there's no one from my high school. But I see the same type of thing at my college where students went to high school in New Mexico or El Paso then they continue to hang out with the same people from high school.
I have one friend that Im still very close to from high school.... But we've been besties since 5th grade so I'm not sure if that counts. I pretty much disliked everyone I went to HS with and actively chose not to get close to them. Considering most of them never went anywhere with their lives I'm perfectly content with my decision.
As you probably know, some of my high school friends stopped being friends with me. Some posters gave the explanation of "They realized they don't have much in common with me."
But what's that supposed to mean?
If we were friends in high school, clearly we had something in common. If we didn't have much in common, don't you think we would realize that right away? Why would someone not realize until college that they don't have much in common with their high school friends?
Making new friends in college, I understand that part. But just because someone makes new friends doesn't mean they suddenly have nothing in common with their high school friends.
First off, friendships fall all along the spectrum. There are some people that you feel such a deep connection with that you would remain close even if they lived on the other side of the world. Then there are the people you like just great, but proximity is a factor. If you lived on the other side of the country, it would be hard to stay connected. If you lived in the same city you would see them all the time. Then there are the people you are casually friends with in a situational way. You are in classes together at school. You work together and that's it. Your friendship is entirely based on the situation and if that changes, you wish each other well, but move on without lingering contact.
There isn't enough time in the day/week/month to nurture a close relationship with an infinite number of people, not if you're talking real friends and not just Facebook friends. So as you move to a new city and meet new people there to connect with, sometimes you let old ones go to make space.
There's also the truth that we change as we get older and discover more about ourselves, particularly during new experiences like college, or moving to a new town. The person you are at 18 isn't the person you are at 25, or 30. The person you are at 23 and graduating college isn't the person you are at 27 and becoming a mom for the first time. As we change, sometimes we grow apart from people who fit the old us, but not the new us, especially when distance becomes a factor. It's just life.
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