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Old 04-01-2012, 10:22 AM
 
52 posts, read 62,956 times
Reputation: 17

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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
Sometimes you're better off with distance between you and the in-laws. She probably needs someone to talk to and you indicated in some way that you want to be closer to her.
Yes, you're right, distance is needed. But I still wonder how she got the impression I wanted to be closer to her.
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Old 04-01-2012, 10:28 AM
 
7,099 posts, read 27,212,758 times
Reputation: 7454
I haven't read all the posts, so this may have been discussed already.

She still needs to feel that she is young and desirable. Therefore, your best bet is to remind her that from YOUR viewpoint, she is too old.

Say things like, "You dress well...for your age." "Do you think you should be drinking so much, at your age?" "Do you find it hard to get clothes that fit, at your age?"

Emphsize that you are well aware that she is much too old for your tastes. Add references to her age every chance you get. Ask her about her memories of WWII or something, act surprised when she says she wasn't around then. If she asks you how old you think she is....add at least 10 years.

Women like her hate to be reminded of their declining years. It might work, might not, but it's worth a try.
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Old 04-01-2012, 10:46 AM
 
Location: earth?
7,284 posts, read 12,945,115 times
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That is very inappropriate. I would tell her with body language and actual language to back off. Where is her shame? And I would tell your wife her mom is a pervert.
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Old 04-01-2012, 11:18 AM
 
2,720 posts, read 5,634,649 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jude999 View Post
Yes, you're right, distance is needed. But I still wonder how she got the impression I wanted to be closer to her.
Big mistake was complimenting her, homie. That's like crack to older women.
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Old 04-01-2012, 11:38 AM
 
52 posts, read 62,956 times
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I'm thinking that it might be inappropriate to talk to her for hours, especially if she is talking about her dead relationship with her husband. She said she stopped herself from calling me at 9 at night because she thought it was too late.
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Old 04-01-2012, 11:41 AM
 
Location: earth?
7,284 posts, read 12,945,115 times
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I wouldn't even talk to her for minutes - what is your wife doing when you are gabbing with her mother for hours? That is just really weird.

Next time she says something inappropriate, call her on it.
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Old 04-01-2012, 11:59 AM
 
52 posts, read 62,956 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
I wouldn't even talk to her for minutes - what is your wife doing when you are gabbing with her mother for hours? That is just really weird.

Next time she says something inappropriate, call her on it.
Wife was at work. I had the day off. She sounded like she really needed to talk, so I consoled her for those two hours.

I don't know whether it's a ploy, considering the timing of things or if she really is in need or both.

But I guess it is inappropriate for her to bring up her broken relationship with her husband.
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Old 04-01-2012, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Central US
202 posts, read 473,506 times
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"Hell has no flurry like a woman scorned". I would not confront her or say anything to your wife. Try the easiest method first. Ignore her comments and be sure not to ever be alone with her or even in a room alone with her when others are in the house. This can be turned to look like your fault in one instant. You have no protection if that happens. You will be the bad guy. How many woman are prosecuted for sexual harassment. Almost none.

The guy is the bad guy in these situations even if you are completely innocent. It's like the expression "Your screwed if you do or screwed if you don't".

If you are never alone with her it's unlikely anything will happen except more of her comments. They will probably stop when she see's you just ignore them. Don't count on your wife siding with you if you decide to bring the issure out in the open. You have a casual problem now but a major problem if brought out in the open.
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Old 04-01-2012, 12:44 PM
 
52 posts, read 62,956 times
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Well I would really like to know if this whole situation smells like lonely housewife trying to get with her son in law, because if not I really do not want to be rude or dismissive of a person in need. I don't want t to look like I do not care about family. And I do not mean about what she has said before, but this new level of texting me, calling me and wanting to talk a lot.
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Old 04-01-2012, 01:36 PM
 
7,099 posts, read 27,212,758 times
Reputation: 7454
it's going to get worse.

Don't answer texting. If she calls, lie about having something important to do, even if it's only going to the bathroom. DO NOT SPEND TIME WITH HER....alone or on the phone. All you are doing is encouraging more of the same.

She's a needy type person.
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