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Sometimes you're better off with distance between you and the in-laws. She probably needs someone to talk to and you indicated in some way that you want to be closer to her.
Yes, you're right, distance is needed. But I still wonder how she got the impression I wanted to be closer to her.
I haven't read all the posts, so this may have been discussed already.
She still needs to feel that she is young and desirable. Therefore, your best bet is to remind her that from YOUR viewpoint, she is too old.
Say things like, "You dress well...for your age." "Do you think you should be drinking so much, at your age?" "Do you find it hard to get clothes that fit, at your age?"
Emphsize that you are well aware that she is much too old for your tastes. Add references to her age every chance you get. Ask her about her memories of WWII or something, act surprised when she says she wasn't around then. If she asks you how old you think she is....add at least 10 years.
Women like her hate to be reminded of their declining years. It might work, might not, but it's worth a try.
That is very inappropriate. I would tell her with body language and actual language to back off. Where is her shame? And I would tell your wife her mom is a pervert.
I'm thinking that it might be inappropriate to talk to her for hours, especially if she is talking about her dead relationship with her husband. She said she stopped herself from calling me at 9 at night because she thought it was too late.
"Hell has no flurry like a woman scorned". I would not confront her or say anything to your wife. Try the easiest method first. Ignore her comments and be sure not to ever be alone with her or even in a room alone with her when others are in the house. This can be turned to look like your fault in one instant. You have no protection if that happens. You will be the bad guy. How many woman are prosecuted for sexual harassment. Almost none.
The guy is the bad guy in these situations even if you are completely innocent. It's like the expression "Your screwed if you do or screwed if you don't".
If you are never alone with her it's unlikely anything will happen except more of her comments. They will probably stop when she see's you just ignore them. Don't count on your wife siding with you if you decide to bring the issure out in the open. You have a casual problem now but a major problem if brought out in the open.
Well I would really like to know if this whole situation smells like lonely housewife trying to get with her son in law, because if not I really do not want to be rude or dismissive of a person in need. I don't want t to look like I do not care about family. And I do not mean about what she has said before, but this new level of texting me, calling me and wanting to talk a lot.
Don't answer texting. If she calls, lie about having something important to do, even if it's only going to the bathroom. DO NOT SPEND TIME WITH HER....alone or on the phone. All you are doing is encouraging more of the same.
She's a needy type person.
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