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What does it take to create and maintain "goodwill" in a relationship?...How would you define the concept of having "goodwill?"...I try to avoid heavy-duty competition! And I don't want to come across as a "mom" or "know-it-all" with friends. Things work-out best when everyone is viewed as an equal and treated with respect. Don't you think?..."Goodwill" also involves being able to say "I'm sorry" when need be and finding a way to "patch things up" and make amends etc...When "goodwill" is present in a relationship everything just "feels good!" Trust runs "high!" Everyone doesn't have to walk around "watching their back" all the time. (Or wear a "bullet-proof" vest etc.).. How would you describe "goodwill?" Thanks!
I think to maintain "goodwill" in a relationship it only takes respect....I couldn't really add much more to what you've already said CArizona...you've covered it beautifully...peace my friend!
I do believe that goodwill is healthy for relationships. However, that does not mean I cannot have high expectations of myself or others. Assuming goodwill allows me to communicate my wants or needs in the most delicate way I am able to because I do care about other people's feelings.
bettyeiacono...Welcome to the forum! Thanks for posting. I agree with you about the importance of having trust in a relationship...It's hard to trust someone who is "wishy-washy" and inconsistent and "all over the map!" There's no telling how they may "act" from one minute to the next!.. Will they be friendly and caring and happy? Or pouty and sulky and in a "foul mood?"...How can we trust someone who seems to have a "split personality?" We're all going to have "upsets" at times. But how do we handle the problems that arise in our lives? Do we "fly off the handle" at the "drop of a hat" and pull everyone along with us on emotional "roller coaster rides?"...Or do we try to remain level-headed? And take things "step-by-step?"....It's hard for me to be around "unpredictable people" who are subject to "flare-ups" and extreme "mood swings." How do you feel about it? Thanks.
purehuman...Thanks for posting! I'm "old-school" when it comes to the notion of respect. I feel that I have to earn respect by being consistent and trustworthy...How do you feel about it? It can be argued that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and I feel this way...But sometimes our respect for other people can become a little "tarnished" or "cloudy" based on their behavior towards us. Don't you think?
purehuman...Thanks for posting! I'm "old-school" when it comes to the notion of respect. I feel that I have to earn respect by being consistent and trustworthy...How do you feel about it? It can be argued that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and I feel this way...But sometimes our respect for other people can become a little "tarnished" or "cloudy" based on their behavior towards us. Don't you think?
Hmm. That is a very interesting way of defining respect. I never saw consistency as a form of respect. I see it as part of somebody's personality. I tend to think of these people as being predictable who also like people who behave in predictable ways.
crisan..Thanks for posting. I agree with you. In healthy relationships everyone's "wants" and "needs" are taken into "account" and considered...There is a sense of "fairness." And no one ends-up with the "short end" of the "stick" over and over again...If we do all the "giving" all the time and rarely get "much back" it won't take long for "goodwill" to "fly out the window!"
crisan...I think we choose how we are going to "act" and "respond" in any given situation...Of course we may get hit on the head by a "curve ball" once in awhile and be caught "off-guard" for a short time...But all in all (in normal life) I think we choose and decide how we will "act" and "behave" etc...Parents are suppose to "socialize" their kids and teach their kids that they are responsible and accountable for their actions and behavior. But sometimes things can go "haywire" during this process!...Parents can be too permissive. And let their kids "get away with murder" with no accountability for their behavior. Or parents can be too strict and controlling and this may lead to "passivity" or non-stop "rebellion!"...It took me a long time to figure out what it meant to be an adult. (And behave like an adult.) But I finally "got it!"...I am responsible for how I "act" and "behave." Nothing just happens by "accident!" I am constantly choosing and deciding how I want to "handle things."....Sometimes I "screw-up" and make mistakes and I need to "make amends" if my choices and actions "hurt" or involved other people...I want people to feel that they can trust me to "do right" by them. And I feel that I have to earn respect in all my relationships based on my "character" and my consistent behavior.
purehuman...Thanks for posting! I'm "old-school" when it comes to the notion of respect. I feel that I have to earn respect by being consistent and trustworthy...How do you feel about it? It can be argued that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and I feel this way...But sometimes our respect for other people can become a little "tarnished" or "cloudy" based on their behavior towards us. Don't you think?
I tend to show respect to even a stranger I don't really know.....it's my way of showing that I consider them of worth and value....kinda like starting at the top....from there on it will remain...or lesson, based on (like you said) their behaviour towards me, and others.....If I perceive them to be fair and just, they will have "earned" my continued respect.....as for me getting respect from others...I'm not too concerned...I try to be as fair, and honest, and giving as I can....if people respect me for that,.. it's good....if not...that's ok too.
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