Make Haste, Not Waste... (wife, boyfriend, father, husband)

[bluemonday]

Not sure what category this goes under, but I put this in non-romantic relationships since this was dealing with people. I was raised kind of poor at times. As a result, we had a lot of leftovers, $0.25 cent a box mac and cheese, Ramen noodles, and poor dishes most people never even heard of because the food was free from the garden or cheap from discount stores (fried green tomato sandwiches, chicken legs in spaghettit sauce, etc.) We were never allowed to waste food.

Now, it drives me nuts when people waste food! When my husband and I go out to eat, and he orders too much and just lets the frys get tossed out I just go nuts. I scold him, and he doesn't get it. We had friends of my husband over this weekend, and I noticed that his friend was emptying the last 25% of his beer down our sink and asking for new ones. I was confused, and slightly disturbed that someone just does this all the time, with every beer they have. Maybe I just assume this is something that parents teach their kids???

I do not begrudge the way I was raised, since I have been able to afford a nice home and many comforts of life due to being frugal and resourceful in what I call the "small areas" of my life. In some ways, I really think it is a good thing (I try to "pack" lunches for work instead of going out, I buy meat in bulk when on sale and seal it in smaller packs, etc.). I make better money now, but it just seems weird to waste food, unless there is no way to heat it up (i.e. on vacation or traveling), or the food was just downright lousy and was hard enough to eat the first time.

Any luck dealing with this when around others?? Or better yet....is it wrong if I tell people they shouldn't waste food, or ask them why they are wasting food in order to get them thinking?? I know I can't change people's minds, but maybe at least get them thinking?

[Tracysherm]

This might be a good thread for the Frugal Living forum.

Yes, I hate when people waste food, but I admit I do it myself sometimes. But I never do it unconsciously or excessively, and it does bother me when I do it.
Part of that is because I hate wasting money, but part of it is that I have this internal sense that somehow it's "wrong" in the universal/karmic/spiritual sense to waste food when others starve.

My boyfriend does this a lot and it drives me crazy. I'll try a certain kind of cheese and say "wow that was good" and then he'll go out and buy like 6 packages of it for me. I could never finish it before it goes bad, so I'd get angry, and he'd be like "What? I thought you said you liked it! I got it for YOU!"
I would eat as much as I could, but would later have to throw some away as it grew fuzzy.

Or he'll buy several boxes of cereal when we have a lot of cereal already in the pantry. Some would expire before he'd even open them, then he'd refuse to eat them (I would take them out and feed the birds). Or sometimes he has 3 boxes of cereal open at once, and inevitably one will go stale and he'll toss it out.

My sister also wastes TONS of food. She has kids who are very finicky eaters (they got it from her) and they leave so much food on their plates that she just scrapes into the garbage. If we go to restaurants together, I always end up taking half my meal home in a doggie bag and I re-heat it the next day (entrees are usually HUGE anyway). She refuses to take a doggie bag and says "WE don't eat leftovers in our house." So there goes a half a filet mignon and a mound of garlic mashed potatoes in the garbage. Even after a party or gathering at her house, she'll tell us all to take leftover food (usually tons of stuff) or she's just going to throw it away.

I'm also a bit of a "prepper" (see Self Sufficiency & Survival Forum) and I do food storage in case of a future emergency like a natural disaster, job loss, or something big like a war or the collapse of the dollar. So I buy a lot of non-perishable food and store it up. Whenever I throw away food, I always remind myself that there may be a time in the future when I would be grateful to have those scraps I just threw away.

I've never lived in poverty, and I've never gone hungry. I'm way too young to be affected by the Depression (thought I do remember all my grandparents' stories about food being short, and being prescious). But I've always had this idea that it's wrong to waste food.

I don't really know how to bring this up with other people who are wasteful. If they are not willing to hear it, then we just sound like freaks who are "worrying about nothing." I think that if people do volunteer work with the poor, or learn about how people in other countries are starving, either through natural famine or corrupt governments, then they might have an "aha" at some point. Even with getting exposure to the poor in our country, you won't really be seeing real poverty. Our "poor" are among the most well fed people on the planet.

I also read a lot of history, so I get a good sense of how precious food was in other times--not just the Great Depression, but during wars, droughts, pioneers in the wilderness, subsistence farming, etc. Maybe if people get some exposure to things like that, they will be less likely to waste?

[GoldyViolet]

^^^totally agree with all of that above in both posts. I also hate wasting food and I really hate wasting water. I can't even begin to think about all the food that is wasted in restaurants, hotels, grocery stores...I'll go bonkers thinking about it.

I also have a friend who proudly proclaims "I never eat leftovers"...UGH!

[Tracysherm]

There used to be a great charity based in Philly that I used to donate to, back in the 90s. They would go to restaurants every night, and take all the food that the restaurants could not legally save for the next day, but which was perfectly fine. Due to health code regs, restaurants have to throw out lots of food each day. This charitable organization would then take all the food to homeless shelters, rescue missions, and soup kitchens.
But then something changed in the early 2000's. I think there was some local or state law or reg about serving day-old food to the homeless, so now the charity, although it still exists, only handles food donations that are non-perishable like canned goods.
What a freaking waste!

[sweetana3]

I am frugal with food and love leftovers. We actually prefer take out since we can limit our eating better at home and have multiple meals. I prefer breakfast and lunch to dinner out and try not to order more than I can finish. My best places have very reasonable serving sizes.

However, I have a friend who loudly tells all about how she uses tupperware doggie containers for restaurant leftovers and complains about serving sizes, etc. I wish she would just enjoy the meal and not drag her personal convictions into every occasion. It is tiresome.

So beware of driving others away with arguments about what or how they are eating or drinking.

We have Second Helpings here in Indianapolis that collects unsold restaurant food and such and repacks it for use in shelters, etc. It is very successful and also is a food training program for unemployed people. You should see how big out food pantry distribution center is here. Husband does a delivery for a church food pantry every week and I have gotten to see the airplane sized pick up hanger.

[bluemonday]

Glad to see their are others who feel the same way as I do. Sweetana3 - I definately do not want to argue, I just want to make a statement or two to get them thinking. Maybe try to bring up money they are saving too, or offer suggestions on how to heat up leftovers effectively so they taste better (e.g. leftover mashed potatoes can be dry; I add some milk and butter to mine).

I really dislike when people proclaim "I never eat leftovers" like it is a badge of honor! That I sometimes want to make comments to, but bite my tongue!

[exscapegoat]

I grew up with a mother who occasionally went hungry. My dad's father died when he was 12 and my grandma was on her own supporting 2 kids. They never went hungry, but she worked hard to put food on the table.

Wasting food in our home was a sin. We had to clean our plates, hungry or not. Eating when you're not hungry so as not to waste food can cause the following problems in kids:

1) they learn to disregard physical cues of when they're hungry and will overeat. Which can lead to weight problems later in life

2) they are afraid to try new things because what if they don't like it?

I ended up with a weight problem and a fear of trying new things. Even healthy things recommended by my dietician, such as egg white omelettes & tofu cream cheese instead of regular cream cheese (the tofu kind has more protein & less fat). There was a part of me which actually said, "what if I don't like it?!!!! I don't want to eat it if I don't like it!!!" I had to reassure that part that I wouldn't make "her" eat it and we could get something else if she didn't like it.

I live alone and incorporating more fresh veggies has been a challenge because sometimes if I buy a bunch at the supermarket, I'd overestimate and stuff would perish before I could use it. I used to deal with this by eating more, processed, non-perishables. I deal with it now by finding places near home & work with good produce selections and buying for the next day or so.

The beer thing is weird. Maybe it gets warm? But then, I think a better solution would be to pour some out into the cup and leave the rest in the fridge until he finishes the first.

My mom is so obsessed with wasting food that she threw a temper tantrum when I had the misfortune of having to inform her some food was past its prime when company was coming over. When she & my stepdad got remarried, they had family in from out of town, myself included. The night before the wedding, they picked up a supermarket sandwich platter for dinner. Two or three days later, my stepdad was going for a grocery store run for a bbq. My mother told him we didn't need bbq stuff, we had the sandwich platters. My mother had me take one of the sandwiches back for dinner the night of their wedding. It had sandwich slime on it from sitting for awhile, the lettuce had begun to get liquidy. I threw it out and got something else for dinner. I didn't say anything at first because I knew it would bother her. But when she announced that would be the meal and this was a day or so after I threw it out for sandwich slime, I figured I'd better say something because:

1) I didn't want anyone to get sick

2) I didn't want her and my stepdad to be embarrassed.

I gently said, "mom you might want to check on the sandwiches, the one I had was a little slimy". She glared and me and yelled, "so we'll just throw them all out and waste them?!!!!" My stepdad went to check on the sandwiches. They were so bad, the dogs wouldn't eat them. He made some jokes and cajoled her out of the mood. I never got an apology for the yelling or a thanks for the heads up. Personally, I'd be grateful if someone gave me a heads up and saved me that kind of embarassment. Can you imagine serving slimy sandwiches to family & friends?

I can understand not wanting to waste food. I generally will take leftover lunches/dinners home to get another meal out of them. But sometimes I tried something new & I didn't like it (in which case I'll ask if any of my friends want it) or it's something I had a craving for, but don't really need to eat a lot of (french fries). I'll offer it to my friends too. And some foods don't reheat as well (fries). Also, if I'm going to be out for awhile and the weather is too hot to safely store the food or I'd have to carry it all over the place all night (vs. putting it in a car), I may leave food behind.

While I don't condone waste, I think the other extreme can be unhealthy too. I don't like wasting food, but if I eat more/more of certain foods than I should, it's not going to help my health.

I think it's ok for the previous posters to feel this way about their own eating, but I think it becomes problematic when people try to control other's eating, such as a SO's, a siblings and to an extent, child's. Parents should make sure children are getting nutritious meals, but they also want to keep an eye on overall eating habits. Encouraging behavior which overrides the child's natural full signals or discourages them from trying new foods can lead to problems for that child later in life.

[BLAZER PROPHET]

OK, I'll be the one to disagree- sort of. My first wife wouldn't so much as waste a bite of food. In the refer it went. Now, I'm fine with that so long as I'm not expected to eat it. But if people want to spend the money to waste a little food here and there, so be it. To me, it's about learning to live with each other's idiosyncrasies and learning to accept it.

[berkeleylake]

Originally Posted by bluemonday

Any luck dealing with this when around others?? Or better yet....is it wrong if I tell people they shouldn't waste food, or ask them why they are wasting food in order to get them thinking?? I know I can't change people's minds, but maybe at least get them thinking?

I would only say something if someone wants advice (unless it is a very, very close friend who likes constructive criticism), otherwise you may seem like you are nagging them, in my opinion. I try not to waste food myself and understand your perspective and I try to save food myself, but after working in restaurants, you see all kinds of wasted food in huge volume.

You could give some tips like "save refrigerated food within an hour of preparing it, or it will go bad," or something really subtle. I would just let it go, unless they ask you first, I would live and let live. All kinds of things are needlessly wasted in a culture of plenty. I would donate canned food to a charity and leave it at that.

[branDcalf]

It really bothers me to see food wasted. If I am eating out with people and it happens I don't say anything, except all my close friends know and tease me about it.

If I am serving food in my home, I say something similar to what a lady who cared for many other people in Germany during WWII. If it was your first time at her house she explained that she had seen times of plenty and times of want and knew that life could change with little warning. Therefore, please take what you will eat, and you are welcome to seconds, but try to not waste food.