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In a situation like that, I would text the person back saying I would call them in an hour/two hours/etc. Not responding at all is rude, and ignoring the person you are physically with is rude as well.
I don't see not responding at all to someone whose basic intent is to keep tabs on their girlfriend as rude. I see it more of a differing expectations. If anything the guy who kept texting was rude. Unless it is an emergency situation why can't the person just enjoy the day without worrying about responding to texts?
Oh and to be clear the example of getting calls from my coworkers is not generally about my employer, if that makes sense. It is about coworkers wanting me to arrange my personal life and work schedule, so that their personal life and work schedule will be more beneficial in the process.
Some of this can't be avoided...but more recently it is excessive. If you are in a job where you really don't ever want to work any weekends, that really isn't everyone else's problem to solve.
I don't see not responding at all to someone whose basic intent is to keep tabs on their girlfriend as rude. I see it more of a differing expectations. If anything the guy who kept texting was rude. Unless it is an emergency situation why can't the person just enjoy the day without worrying about responding to texts?
Because that simply isn't the world someone my age grew up in. I have had a cell phone since high school, I never had to drive to meet friends without being able to call them from the car, responding to texts is as normal to me as checking your home answering machine is to you.
It isn't good or bad, it is just a different culture for a different generation.
Because that simply isn't the world someone my age grew up in. I have had a cell phone since high school, I never had to drive to meet friends without being able to call them from the car, responding to texts is as normal to me as checking your home answering machine is to you.
It isn't good or bad, it is just a different culture for a different generation.
I agree that is somewhat generational. I think I just take more issue with you perceiving it as rude if someone doesn't text back within a few hours.
There is no doubt cell phones are useful tools, and I think society at some point will come to some sort of breaking point with everyone needing to be connected.
I have a cell phone. More than anything I have it with me in case of a car emergency, or to stay connected in case something happens with my kids. The school expects that they should be able to reach me in case of emergency, and in that case I'm happy to comply. I use it for other things, but I do like to have down time.
Maybe because I'm a bit older than you, but I honestly feel that everyone can't have the expectation of being "on" all of the time, and eventually it wears on you. I remember the first time I took call for a previous job and wore a pager....I was actually sort of enthralled with the idea.
When I talked about the friend whose SO continually kept tabs on her, they were closer in age to me. Despite having a cell phone, this particular person can be very hard to reach.
My cell phone is for emergencies only. I keep it in the car, and it charges in the car. Land lines make for much more reliable and high-quality connections, I can't imagine using a cell phone regularly. It's frustrating to talk to people who call from cells, because their phone can suddenly cut out, and the connection sometimes just isn't very clear. It seems ironic to me that now, in the 21st Century, our phone technology provides a poorer-quality connection than technology from the "old days" of the 90's.
My cell phone is for emergencies only. I keep it in the car, and it charges in the car. Land lines make for much more reliable and high-quality connections, I can't imagine using a cell phone regularly. It's frustrating to talk to people who call from cells, because their phone can suddenly cut out, and the connection sometimes just isn't very clear. It seems ironic to me that now, in the 21st Century, our phone technology provides a poorer-quality connection than technology from the "old days" of the 90's.
The man called me from his car earlier this afternoon. He has that system where you push a button on the wheel and then say "call Lilac home." Then it's like a speaker phone.
I answered the phone to hear all of this static and wind. So I told him, "I can't hear you. Call me when you get home."
Because really, I can't stand that. I hate hearing all of the background noise, dealing with the crappy connection, being asked to speak up one second and being told not to talk so loudly the next depending on traffic, whether his windows are open, whether an aardvark in the next county is eating pistachio ice cream and hosting a tent revival, etc.
If you want to just shoot the breeze, call me when you can actually do so. Otherwise, focus on what you're doing.
I agree that is somewhat generational. I think I just take more issue with you perceiving it as rude if someone doesn't text back within a few hours.
I am definitely not trying to be argumentative or offend anyone, but that is the social culture of my generation at least. If I text someone and don't hear back for a day, that IS rude, at least among my generation.
Quote:
There is no doubt cell phones are useful tools, and I think society at some point will come to some sort of breaking point with everyone needing to be connected.
I disagree...I think people said similar things about the telegraph/telephone/etc. Progress is a good thing (in my opinion)
Quote:
I have a cell phone. More than anything I have it with me in case of a car emergency, or to stay connected in case something happens with my kids. The school expects that they should be able to reach me in case of emergency, and in that case I'm happy to comply. I use it for other things, but I do like to have down time.
Maybe because I'm a bit older than you, but I honestly feel that everyone can't have the expectation of being "on" all of the time, and eventually it wears on you. I remember the first time I took call for a previous job and wore a pager....I was actually sort of enthralled with the idea.
When I talked about the friend whose SO continually kept tabs on her, they were closer in age to me. Despite having a cell phone, this particular person can be very hard to reach.
Having a SO continually check up on you is a problem...but not a technology one. Having a clingy wife/girlfriend isn't something I would want to put up with. I don't view answering text messages as being 'on', which might be the difference. That is just normal to me. I often am watching TV while surfing the internet on my laptop with my cell phone sitting next to me, and that is relaxing. Maybe I am just more used to it, but I literally haven't been more than 10 feet away from my cell phone in four years and don't feel worn out in the least by it. If something important happens (breaking political news, dramatic swing in a stock I own, a friend having a baby, whatever) I like getting an alert immediately. Before cell phones, and more specifically smart phones, that would be difficult to do.
The man called me from his car earlier this afternoon. He has that system where you push a button on the wheel and then say "call Lilac home." Then it's like a speaker phone.
I answered the phone to hear all of this static and wind. So I told him, "I can't hear you. Call me when you get home."
Because really, I can't stand that. I hate hearing all of the background noise, dealing with the crappy connection, being asked to speak up one second and being told not to talk so loudly the next depending on traffic, whether his windows are open, whether an aardvark in the next county is eating pistachio ice cream and hosting a tent revival, etc.
If you want to just shoot the breeze, call me when you can actually do so. Otherwise, focus on what you're doing.
Thank you. I laughed out loud at your aarvark comment.
I hate cell phones / smart phones whatever you want to call them. We keep one Pre-paid phone in each cars glovebox for emergency purposes only. Anyone who needs either one of us for an emergency during the day knows my home and/or work number...and our calls are screened.
Koale
I am definitely not trying to be argumentative or offend anyone, but that is the social culture of my generation at least. If I text someone and don't hear back for a day, that IS rude, at least among my generation.
I disagree...I think people said similar things about the telegraph/telephone/etc. Progress is a good thing (in my opinion)
Having a SO continually check up on you is a problem...but not a technology one. Having a clingy wife/girlfriend isn't something I would want to put up with. I don't view answering text messages as being 'on', which might be the difference. That is just normal to me. I often am watching TV while surfing the internet on my laptop with my cell phone sitting next to me, and that is relaxing. Maybe I am just more used to it, but I literally haven't been more than 10 feet away from my cell phone in four years and don't feel worn out in the least by it. If something important happens (breaking political news, dramatic swing in a stock I own, a friend having a baby, whatever) I like getting an alert immediately. Before cell phones, and more specifically smart phones, that would be difficult to do.
I guess one thing I've learned the hard way is how to set boundaries and I do think it is okay to have them with cell phones just as any other thing.
I think it is fine if you don't view answering text messages as being on...but not everyone feels that way, and that is okay to.
Hearing back a day later is different than a few hours which is what you originally said.
While I think what you are saying is that cell phones aren't the root cause of the rude behavior, it has certainly expanded the ways in which one can be rude. I think there are some situations, where people should think twice about needing to connect with someone when they know the person are engaged with others...be it chaperoning a field trip or being on a date. How many times, if at all, does an SO need to check up on someone? Do they need to check up 15 minutes into the date?
Regarding progress and my earlier post about a potential backlash....I do think that we'll need to have a discussion about how we use cell phones, and etiquette. If someone pays $50 for a ticket to a play etc., they shouldn't be distracted by someone who won't practice common courtesy. There is always someone who is too "special" to turn their phone off.
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ugh...
