Cell phones and always being available (father, relatives, business, person)

[ovcatto]

I have an iPhone, and I have a feature called, "don't answer." Come to think of it, it's the same feature that I had on my rotary phone.

[SunnyTXsmile]

Originally Posted by aspentree

Do you think with cell phones and texting that people have the expectation you'll always be available?

I have a cell phone, often when I'm at home I'll have it turned to silent. If there is a true emergency people that know me well can use my landline.

So someone called me on my cell phone to ask a favor that had a time sensitive nature to it. I actually didn't see the call until a couple hours had passed I wouldn't have done the favor anyway, but they were mad that I didn't call them back sooner. I personally find that expectation a little silly, but it seems like it is becoming more common, since cell phones provide greater access.

I have learned that people have expectations (eventually) based on what you set. At first they have their idea of how quickly you should respond, but eventually they will learn your particular turn around time, and, no, I'm not answering my phone any faster because someone has unrealistic expectations or had a tantrum.

If I am in a meeting or have a late night work deadline, calls will wait. If I am spending time with friends or especially family, calls will wait. If I am sleeping, calls will wait. None of these things will ever change. Period. I am not forgetting my manners just because the cell phone was invented.

[hnsq]

Originally Posted by aspentree

I guess one thing I've learned the hard way is how to set boundaries and I do think it is okay to have them with cell phones just as any other thing.

I think it is fine if you don't view answering text messages as being on...but not everyone feels that way, and that is okay to.

Hearing back a day later is different than a few hours which is what you originally said.

While I think what you are saying is that cell phones aren't the root cause of the rude behavior, it has certainly expanded the ways in which one can be rude. I think there are some situations, where people should think twice about needing to connect with someone when they know the person are engaged with others...be it chaperoning a field trip or being on a date. How many times, if at all, does an SO need to check up on someone? Do they need to check up 15 minutes into the date?


Regarding progress and my earlier post about a potential backlash....I do think that we'll need to have a discussion about how we use cell phones, and etiquette. If someone pays $50 for a ticket to a play etc., they shouldn't be distracted by someone who won't practice common courtesy. There is always someone who is too "special" to turn their phone off.

I agree completely with your last paragraph, that being said, if you can check without disturbing anyone else, go for it. Social norms are changing. It is very normal to check your phone in the middle of a date in modern society. What we define as rude has definitely changed. I can understand how some people don't like that this is the case, however that is how things work today.

Obviously no one needs to check their phone 15 minutes into a date, but no one NEEDS to even go on a date in the first place. We are talking about social norms, not things that people need to do.

[Cdarocks]

I use my phone basically the same as hnsq. I also watch tv while on my lap top and texting. I send and receive a lot of texts. We haven't had a landline for 10 years and I am also a bit older than hnsq. That being said, if I am out with someone, I now put my phone in my purse and leave it there. If there is value enough to meet someone or be at their house, the least I can do is make them feel like a priority for that time. Answering texts in the middle of a conversation does not convey this. If it is a very casual meeting I might take my lead from the other person; I think it's important to read the situation and act accordingly. Of course, there are social situations where it is no problem, but I have decided to draw the line with one on one meetings.

[GKH777]

I hate phones (landline and Cell) if it was up to me and I didn't actually NEED to have them in my life, I'd throw them off the nearest bridge!! If I'm driving and my cell phone goes off, sorry but I'm going to continue to drive and ignore a ringing phone. It bothers me also to see Kids texting like their life is going to come to an immediate end if their fingers aren't all over a phone.

[11thHour]

Originally Posted by pentatonic

I pay for my cell phone bill for my convenience, not someone elses. Some people live around their cell phone, I do not.

I got flack at work for never picking my phone up on my days off. On my days off Im usually far from a cell signal, hiking, camping or backpacking. The boss seemed utterly shocked that I had a life outside work and don't spend my days off at home waiting for calls. Cell phones can be convenient, but if not careful it just becomes a leash that ties you down.

[jc76]

I dont know many people so i turn mine off and just use it occasionally. I think the whole smart phone thing is actually doing the opposite of what it's intended to do. I had one for a year and as I started to "simplify" my entire life I ditched the smart phone and got a cheap slider. Lots of these new "social networks" are taking away from human interaction. When i dropped off facebook and ditched the smart phone i felt much less stress.

[hnsq]

Originally Posted by GKH777

I hate phones (landline and Cell) if it was up to me and I didn't actually NEED to have them in my life, I'd throw them off the nearest bridge!! If I'm driving and my cell phone goes off, sorry but I'm going to continue to drive and ignore a ringing phone. It bothers me also to see Kids texting like their life is going to come to an immediate end if their fingers aren't all over a phone.

Why does it bother you to see people sending text messages?

[SunnyTXsmile]

Originally Posted by jc76

I dont know many people so i turn mine off and just use it occasionally. I think the whole smart phone thing is actually doing the opposite of what it's intended to do. I had one for a year and as I started to "simplify" my entire life I ditched the smart phone and got a cheap slider. Lots of these new "social networks" are taking away from human interaction. When i dropped off facebook and ditched the smart phone i felt much less stress.

Many studies and industry professionals would agree with you.

I, too, did the same as you, and felt much less stressed as well. Over the last few years, I very rarely use FB despite that I'm encouraged to use social media for my job and I've noticed that nothing has changed in my life by ruling it out. In fact, I have even more time to do the things I love to do with the people I love to do them with.

I know many people in the digital marketing industry that don't even have personal cell phones, let alone an iPhone, nor do they have FB or Twitter accounts. That has to tell you something.

[aspentree]

Originally Posted by SunnyTXsmile

I have learned that people have expectations (eventually) based on what you set. At first they have their idea of how quickly you should respond, but eventually they will learn your particular turn around time, and, no, I'm not answering my phone any faster because someone has unrealistic expectations or had a tantrum.

If I am in a meeting or have a late night work deadline, calls will wait. If I am spending time with friends or especially family, calls will wait. If I am sleeping, calls will wait. None of these things will ever change. Period. I am not forgetting my manners just because the cell phone was invented.

I agree with your first paragraph.