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I wonder which is worse, sugar coated phoniness or rudeness, abruptness. Not sure really.
Interesting choice of words. Since when did simple civility, acknowledging people, and indulging in the pleasant art of conversation become sugar coated phoniness? You're not marrying them. And if I see the same person at the grocery store day after day, week after week, I like to have a connection.
Interesting choice of words. Since when did simple civility, acknowledging people, and indulging in the pleasant art of conversation become sugar coated phoniness? You're not marrying them. And if I see the same person at the grocery store day after day, week after week, I like to have a connection.
Right on. There IS a middle ground, which is where the vast majority of such conversations lie.
For instance, if I am in a checkout line and the cashier has on an engagement ring, or she has beautiful eyes or a great smile, I'm going to make a nice comment. It's also a GENUINE comment - with no ulterior motive other than to brighten her day.
That's not sugar coated phoniness - it's called "being a nice person."
Do I? No, not really. I usually dont see the same clerks when I check out. Dont talk to people in lines either...we are all waiting and in a hurry.
A few years ago I did do this, though. I used to go to an all-night supermarket and get soda water and pop before going to work and there was only one checker on that graveyard shift, and we did talk...since I came in around the same time all the time and she was the only checker....
That would have been the only example, aside from the occasional "Good old girl" type of friendly that one sort of encounters here on occasion from Appalachian transplants....
I'm sociable but I never do because my goal is like military operation when the. Enter. Get items. Escape. I deal with large crowds for a living so I prefer to just get done when doing chores.
I've always lived in the suburbs around Philadelphia, first in NJ then in PA. I rarely ever chat with cashiers, and really have no interest in doing so. I mostly want to get my stuff and get out. Whenever possible, I use the self-scan lanes to avoid dealing with a cashier, but then inevitably the scan machine screws up and says repeatedly "please wait for an attendant."
In the Philly area, most grocery store cashiers are unfriendly and barely even acknowledge the presence of customers. They are either on their cell phones or texting, or complaining to the person in the next aisle how tired they are and how the girl who's supposed to take their lane is late and making their break come late.
I can't even count how many times I've had to politely yet sarcastically say "Oh, how frustrating for you! You poor thing!" or something similar. They don't even "get" that their job stresses are not the customers' problem and we should not have to hear about it. Most cashiers don't even make eye contact or say hello. I don't want a long friendly conversation, but please acknowledge my presence and be polite!
I know in places like the south, it's common for cashiers to chat away with customers and it's considered polite and friendly. But I am usually in a hurry and just want to get my stuff, pay and leave. I don't want to be rude, but I'm not in the store to make friends. I say the minimal pleasantries, and I expect them to provide the minimal pleasantries: "Hi, no thanks, I don't want to donate a dollar to xyz disease, and thanks, have a nice day yourself."
Last edited by Tracysherm; 08-10-2012 at 01:59 PM..
If I see someone trying to figure out which of several brands of something to buy I will stop and give them my recommendations. Sometimes I get a thank you but most of the time I get a look like I just had a penis grow out of my forehead.
I don't mind a little discourse, but I feel like they cross the line into 'too personal' when they start making comments and questions about my purchases. It's like, I know I know you, but I don't want you to get too familiar.' There's also nothing like starting up a conversation over a box of tampons, kotex and Premasen PMS tabs. I mean really, does it look like I want to have a conversation given those types of purchases.
Sometimes, particularly around Christmas when the lines are incredibly long and people get cranky I'll make some crack joke to start the party in the line. I remember once all three checkouts had extremely long lines and it was Christmas Eve. People were almost to the point of clapping when a person finished their purchases and the next one moved up. Sensing this, and the frustration, I started having everyone do 'the wave' each time someone was done checking out. It was actually quite funny and even the crankiest of people were doing it and laughing.
Now Walmart - there's another story. What is it with that place and every kid brought into that store is unruly as hell. Every one of them. I remember standing in line once and this lady ahead of me was not paying attention to what her kids were doing -like pulling stuff off of the little hangers in the checkout lane and dumping them on the floor and the kid kept pushing the cart back into me and he did something else and she turned around and said one thing to him then turned away and again the kid started doing stuff and I can't remember, specifically, what he did finally that made me roll my eyes into the back of my head. Now this beast beosh doesn't see what her kids are doing - but me rolling my eyes she notices and said something about it and I just told her flat out, "Maybe if you paid attention to your kids instead of letting them loose like zoo animals I wouldn't be rolling my eyes now would I?"
I chat with all the checkers at the store.
It's called being a polite, friendly person.
I will never be able to wrap my head around the idea that this is not a 'normal' thing for many people.
Yup me too! I generally chat with people in the store as well. It is a good way to pass the time. I think it is normal. I am more weirded out when checkers remember me in places I have only been one or 2 times.
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