How much alone time do you need? (wife, children, socializing)
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I need to have alone time and all my friends know it. Last year, I went on Spring Break with four of my friends and we all shared one bedroom for three days. I had to go literally silent on them in order to mentally give myself a break since physically I couldn't run away. And thankfully, none of them liked to stay up as late as I did so I would have the super late night hours to myself.
I don't understand people who can talk for hours and hours on end. I find that to be so exhausting and after a while I just want the other person to shut up already!
Also, when I come home from work, nothing says luxury like an empty house (or my brother staying in his room). When I was an RA, after work I would literally sit in the living room on my laptop in complete silence. My roommate at that time learned to not talk to me for at least an hour. Solitude really is bliss.
Humans are social creatures, but some are moreso than others. I think few people are completely asocial: most of us need at least some human interactions, but others are more content or prefer to have more time alone to do their own thing, maybe to take things at a more leisurely, retrospective pace, without the constant chatter and socialising with people.
Considering the following scenario. You're on an overseas holiday with a group of 4 friends. After 2 weeks, you haven't had a chance to be totally on your own. How do you feel?
Or you're on a field trip with your class for a few days. How do you feel after that?
Some people seem to always stick with the group, but i find myself needing to retire. I don't mind talking with them and stuff, and I generally get along alright with most people, but after awhile, the banal chatter, the group-think, and the fact i can't pursue solitary activities i enjoy like reading kind of get to me. Maybe I'm just not used to it.
It really depends on the people, as some can share in the activities I like to do while alone. However, I like to play solo computer games or simply just do stuff on my own. Travel is something I prefer in solitude because it allows me to truly immerse myself in the culture. When I traveled Europe with a school group, it was frustrating because everyone slowed everything down, they always wanted to stop for something and we saw so much less than if I was alone. When I traveled to Europe by myself, I went to 45 cities in 60 days (in 15 countries) and saw everything in each of those cities that I had wanted to see. It was a much better way to travel.
Considering the following scenario. You're on an overseas holiday with a group of 4 friends. After 2 weeks, you haven't had a chance to be totally on your own. How do you feel?
Considering that scenario, I'd probably be more likely to pass on the adventure and just stay home...lol
2 weeks is a long time, I could probably handle 1 though...
I enjoy & NEED regular periods of peace & solitude. There's nothing wrong with that, everyone is different although some people like to label people like us as odd, anti-social or unfriendly. Not true. I love being with people and having a good chat but not all day, like some of my friends. I get stressed and miserable when I'm with people who never shut up or if I'm in a situation where I can't get away from them for a while.
I have a good friend who can talk incessantly - no exaggeration! Lovely, warm, giving, good person and I do enjoy talking with her but I literally am exhausted by her when I'm with her for longer than a couple of hours. I'm always amazed by how she manages to fill every second with talk. She often suggests we go on a holiday together with her boyfriend but I can't bear the thought! Going on a roadtrip with her yapping incessantly in the car - omg! Sitting on the edge of a canyon in a National Park trying to enjoy the amazing view and sounds of nature with her yap, yap, yapping. I'd probably want to push her over the edge.
My husband and I can enjoy companionable silence - reading, using our laptops, admiring the scenery if we're out, etc. We also have our own interests and do go off and leave the other alone with their own interests. I couldn't bear not having that environment.
I have a HUGE need for time alone. I do enjoy my time I spend with people socially, but afterward I feel depleted and need to "reload" with alone time.
I could NOT spend two solid weeks with anyone! If I went on such a trip with 4 friends, I'd have to maybe do every 2nd or 3rd day on my own. If not, I'd be taking a shotgun up to a belltower.
I once went on a week-long cruise with 3 friends in my 20s and hated that I had no time alone the whole time. In the room, I had my roommate, out of the room, the ship was full of people. Even at meals, you didn't have the option to sit alone and eat and read. At least on one of the islands, they just wanted to lie on a beach, so I went off snorkeling alone.
I actually break weekends down (in my head) into 5 "units."
Friday night
Saturday day
Saturday night
Sunday day
Sunday night
I can only devote one, maybe two units to being with other people, and the rest of the 3-4 units have to be alone time. Either that, or I don't feel like I've gotten a weekend, and by Monday I'm exhausted. If I have a weekend with social obligations on both days, I feel like I need to take off a day during the week, or I'll lose my mind or something.
i'm tired of hearing: humans are social creatures. it's mostly outgoing people that think that crap. I would just as soon work an at home job and see no people then go to work and see them. not everyone gives a crap about interacting with precious people.
Sooo, where does a site like this fall on the social/solitude scale? It's probably not enough to totally replace human contact but if you spend your "alone time" chatting online, I can't say that really counts as being alone.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnexpectedError
Sooo, where does a site like this fall on the social/solitude scale? It's probably not enough to totally replace human contact but if you spend your "alone time" chatting online, I can't say that really counts as being alone.
Good point. I've noticed that too. You're still interacting with people. For me it's like, i can exchange ideas etc and stuff, but without the 'stress' of socialising face to face. Not that I don't sometimes enjoy that, but I just feel more relaxed relating online.
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omg! Sitting on the edge of a canyon in a National Park trying to enjoy the amazing view and sounds of nature with her yap, yap, yapping. I'd probably want to push her over the edge.
