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So your only feel alone when your around others. The time I really feel alone is when my room mate has her Bf ove then I feel alone. A lot of people feel that way as well. The people who don't mind being alone feel awkard because they don't know how to act or talk to others.
WRONG. There are people who are introverts because they are shy and lack confidence. They might not be around people a lot, but they wish they were. THEY are the ones who are often socially awkward. But there are also introverts (which I call loners) who prefer to not be around people all the time.
Those of us here who are saying we prefer alone time to time spent with others, do NOT feel this way because we feel awkward or inferior, or because we "don't know how to act or talk to others."
Most of us are saying we feel annoyed and put-upon by other people.
It really ticks me off when people assume that people who prefer to spend time alone secretly wish we were not alone, or assume that we are social misfits who lack normal social skills.
WRONG. There are people who are introverts because they are shy and lack confidence. They might not be around people a lot, but they wish they were. THEY are the ones who are often socially awkward. But there are also introverts (which I call loners) who prefer to not be around people all the time.
Those of us here who are saying we prefer alone time to time spent with others, do NOT feel this way because we feel awkward or inferior, or because we "don't know how to act or talk to others."
Most of us are saying we feel annoyed and put-upon by other people.
It really ticks me off when people assume that people who prefer to spend time alone secretly wish we were not alone, or assume that we are social misfits who lack normal social skills.
I disagree sorry. And I never said inferior you used that word, Now who is assuming?
How can you disagree when you have a thread here with a bunch of people who say that they PREFER to not be around people? Are we all lying? Delusional?
Yes, I used the word "inferior," and you did not. But feeling awkward around people is usually accompanied by feelings of inferiority. We feel neither awkward nor inferior, we just prefer to not be around other people all the time. And wouldn't you consider "not knowing how to talk to people" as something "inferior?" It sure isn't a sign of superiority or even equality with others.
Do you really believe that all of us who prefer time alone really just feel that way because we're "awkward" and we "don't know how to act"? If you are under this assumption, you are completely wrong. People can "disagree" about opinions, but when it comes to facts, especially facts being cited by many real people in a discusson thread, then you don't "disagree'; you're just "incorrect."
How can you disagree when you have a thread here with a bunch of people who say that they PREFER to not be around people? Are we all lying? Delusional?
Yes, I used the word "inferior," and you did not. But feeling awkward around people is usually accompanied by feelings of inferiority. We feel neither awkward nor inferior, we just prefer to not be around other people all the time. And wouldn't you consider "not knowing how to talk to people" as something "inferior?" It sure isn't a sign of superiority or even equality with others.
Do you really believe that all of us who prefer time alone really just feel that way because we're "awkward" and we "don't know how to act"? If you are under this assumption, you are completely wrong. People can "disagree" about opinions, but when it comes to facts, especially facts being cited by many real people in a discusson thread, then you don't "disagree'; you're just "incorrect."
I've been on here long enough to know that by some people's post they are not that good around people. I've known people who were homeschooled & never had a lot of contact with other kids who grew up & didn't know how to act with others. I was one of them I was in a private school for so long I didn't know how to act when I got to public school. I don't really believe people PREFER I mean we have our moments where we like our soliace but not ALL the time.
So your only feel alone when your around others. The time I really feel alone is when my room mate has her Bf ove then I feel alone. A lot of people feel that way as well. The people who don't mind being alone feel awkard because they don't know how to act or talk to others.
No, the people who don't mind being alone are different and recharge that way. People drain energy. Where people who like someone there are enriched. People who like being alone will sometimes enjoy company on a limited basis, but just a warm body isn't going to do it. There needs to be something shared which both can talk about or its glum time. One of the things most true loners hate most of all is small talk or being stuck in a conversation with someone where they are mostly just tuned out since its of utterly no interest.
I've been on here long enough to know that by some people's post they are not that good around people. I've known people who were homeschooled & never had a lot of contact with other kids who grew up & didn't know how to act with others. I was one of them I was in a private school for so long I didn't know how to act when I got to public school. I don't really believe people PREFER I mean we have our moments where we like our soliace but not ALL the time.
Again I guess we're going to have to disagree.
This is taking from *your* experience, and you are clearly not a loner. I am. When the company is just right, and when I'm in the mood and when its not going to be a long drawn out thing, I can enjoy company. I still don't feel 'comfortable' and a bit on edge until I'm outta there. But the right people are usually people more like me with specific things they enjoy. And I get home and feel completly drained for a few days, don't even want to say hi to the neighbors. That is *my* experience. When the family got together I did enjoy it, especially that the conversation was intelligent, but by dinner was over couldn't wait to leave and didn't even want to call anyone on the phone for a few days.
When we spend time with people its got a cost and it has to be pretty good to want to pay that.
I don't expect someone not like me and others like me to 'understand', just *accept* that we're just wired differently.
I'm on my own for a few hours most days, when I go for a run with the dogs in the morning and the evening, I love it. If I can get away somewhere to put on some headphones and read a book in a corner of the house for an hour or two of a day all the better.
My wife and daughter are usually around the house or garden somewhere so if I want to talk I can. More often than not they find me unless i'm on the way to make a cuppa in which case i'll track them down.
My idea of a great weekend break is me, a tent, the dogs and a few hundred mile of nothing to wander about in... that'll do me a treat.
I'm sure he is not the only one who doesn't believe real loners exist. People like him decide there MUST be something wrong with us, or we MUST be lying.
And my social skills are fine. In fact, I've been paid to teach effective social skills to people who lack them.
Non-loners might "have their moments" when they like being alone. But we loners prefer it most of the time. We get filled up and recharged by time alone, and drained by social time. Non-loners are the opposite, they get energized and recharged by social contact, and the prefer to keep alone time to a minimum.
For a loner to not believe a non-loner about how they feel is the same as reed not believing us. It's basically saying "you must feel like I do" or "my experience is RIGHT and overrules your experience" or "since I've met X number of people who were loners and they lacked social skills, all of you must be lacking in social skills." But to not recognize that another's experience can be different from your own--THAT's a deficit in an important social skill.
No, the people who don't mind being alone are different and recharge that way. People drain energy. Where people who like someone there are enriched. People who like being alone will sometimes enjoy company on a limited basis, but just a warm body isn't going to do it. There needs to be something shared which both can talk about or its glum time. One of the things most true loners hate most of all is small talk or being stuck in a conversation with someone where they are mostly just tuned out since its of utterly no interest.
Being single I don't like hanging out with them I feel like a third wheel. I don't like talking with people who closed minded they bother me the most. I'm alone most of the time about 90% fo the time though out the day. There might be other's in the house but I tend to stay in another room.
I'm sure he is not the only one who doesn't believe real loners exist. People like him decide there MUST be something wrong with us, or we MUST be lying.
Your assuming yet again. I never said there was something WRONG with anyone. Please stop putting words in my mouth. I still believe that in MY opnion people like to be around other people for the most part. AGAIN that's MY opnion I could be wrong look at some of the posters on here. If your job is to talk to people all day long & interact with them then I can see you wanting to be alone, I spent my younger years being around people all the time. I hated it! Truth be told I can't stand 99.9% of the people around me. Yet I have my moments where I like to go out & meet people. I am MORE of a loner then most here.
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