Self-awareness about this forum and my behaving badly... (person, bitterness, feel)
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I don't know about you, but I feel like I let myself down when I am sarcastic or rude on this forum. It's not in my nature at all to be this way in person----but there's something about others' sarcasm or rudeness that brings out the worst in me. Perhaps it's because we're all hiding anonymously behind typed words. I am relatively new to the online forum "world." I joined to chat, learn some things, ask questions, take a pulse on what other people are interested in and talking about, etc. But I see so many really rude and obnoxious comments that it makes me think I've made a big mistake. And it's even worse when I find myself giving into temptation to be rude and obnoxious, too!
Can anyone else relate to this? Perhaps a new year resolution is in order for me. No more rude comments on the C-D forum!
If anything I think I'm a bit less sarcastic on CD than I am in real life, because snarky tones and facial expressions don't translate, so too often people don't catch my jokes, think I'm serious, and just totally misread.
So I am more serious here...and I try not to be rude.
In fact, I try very hard to push back against the tides of bitterness, anger, judgment, and attitude by being accepting and at least attempting to provide productive suggestions and helpful ideas. If my first impulse is to be negative, I try to stop and think about it before making a post.
If I have one major flaw in my posting here, it's that I'm not good at brevity. Never have been. I write long posts that most people probably don't read.
It took me awhile, after a few "infractions" (no posting allowed for so many days), I finally got it together, and although I've been insulted on numerous occasions on these forums, I always try to keep a civil tongue when I post..It's a challenge (sometimes) to post an opinion or response to another poster (especially one who is extremely condescending and insulting) without writing something rude back...That's what makes it so neat (in my opinion)...the challenge...and if nothing more these forums have helped me learn to speak in a compassionate way to others
I don't know about you, but I feel like I let myself down when I am sarcastic or rude on this forum. It's not in my nature at all to be this way in person----but there's something about others' sarcasm or rudeness that brings out the worst in me. Perhaps it's because we're all hiding anonymously behind typed words. I am relatively new to the online forum "world." I joined to chat, learn some things, ask questions, take a pulse on what other people are interested in and talking about, etc. But I see so many really rude and obnoxious comments that it makes me think I've made a big mistake. And it's even worse when I find myself giving into temptation to be rude and obnoxious, too!
Can anyone else relate to this? Perhaps a new year resolution is in order for me. No more rude comments on the C-D forum!
I can relate to your post. I'm trying to be the bigger womyn and walk away from arguing with ignorant, close-minded, "smart" people. It's not even worth it... unless I'm bored and want to argue, then it's fun to infuriate them more and more and more as I sit and eat and laugh. But as I find myself continuing to mature, the constant back and forth bickering is sophoric and I just move on, even though the kid in me sometimes wants to put up a fight and not walk away. I just pat my kid-like ego on the head and say, "You know we're right, they just don't know it, no need to fight, I'll take you to go get an ice-cream cone."
Well and also, the people who are the most rude and nasty to others come off as being angry and bitter. I find myself feeling sorry for them, because they don't seem to be having a very enjoyable time in life, to want to treat others that way for no reason when they don't even know them.
I once had an angry guy in traffic try to sideswipe me and then get out of his vehicle at the next light and come up and scream profanity at me. If I'd been a man, he would have wanted to fight. Since I was a woman he called me the worst names he could think of. My kids were in the backseat. I did nothing to deserve this, the guy was being psycho. It was a bit scary. Once we drove off and we were safe, I told the kids...that guy is going to have a heart attack and die because of his anger. I feel sorry for him. Think about that the next time you are about to lose your temper.
I posted about my personal experiences living in a particular state and got slammed by people telling me I was lying, that it must have been me and it couldn't be the people, etc... I found myself on the defensive and getting nasty. I decided to stop posting in that forum......
When I was younger I was a bitter, angry troll on a few forums. I've been banned from countless forums so I'm use to resentment. The past few years I've been more mature on what I post and how I come across. I still have my sarcasm, but I try to go with more humor. Even after rough days I don't make others pay for it, like I did in my past. The one thing trolls hate the most is ignoring what they post, because they just want attention. In the past I think I saw usernames as just that, just a name on my screen without feelings. Thankfully I know now that real people with real feelings are behind their posts and I finally take that into consideration. When you give people anonymity, there are people that will always exploit it.
I'm very sarcastic in real life, but I'm only sarcastic towards those who understand sarcasm. I've tried sarcasm with people that don't understand it and it just doesn't go over well.
I'm happy I matured, who knows how many forums I would of been banned from now if I had the same teen attitude I use to have haha.
When I was younger I was a bitter, angry troll on a few forums. I've been banned from countless forums so I'm use to resentment. The past few years I've been more mature on what I post and how I come across. I still have my sarcasm, but I try to go with more humor. Even after rough days I don't make others pay for it, like I did in my past. The one thing trolls hate the most is ignoring what they post, because they just want attention. In the past I think I saw usernames as just that, just a name on my screen without feelings. Thankfully I know now that real people with real feelings are behind their posts and I finally take that into consideration. When you give people anonymity, there are people that will always exploit it.
I'm very sarcastic in real life, but I'm only sarcastic towards those who understand sarcasm. I've tried sarcasm with people that don't understand it and it just doesn't go over well.
I'm happy I matured, who knows how many forums I would of been banned from now if I had the same teen attitude I use to have haha.
What a great and honest post, Quert! I really never knew what "trolling" meant but now I do. Also, I am happy you are growing you self-awareness. That is definitely a sign of maturity!
It really bothers me how many threads are derailed by bickering
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*raised hand*
