Somethin about Awareness/Politeness - Your Views (wife, girlfriend, father)
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Yanno, I was in Walmart the other day, at the check out with a fairly large order. There was a man behind me, who had only one item...so, I invited him to go ahead of me...and do that a lot...I find when I do that, people are shocked, b/c not many do that any longer. We as a society have lost awareness for others..., honestly, the man was so schocked, he said, no one had ever done that for him before?????? I couldn't believe it, yet, thought, "how sad" that our society has become a conglomerate of individualists unaware of the word, politeness....Oh, yes, there are a few who practice awareness, but with so many adults becoming individualists...I fear their children will never know how to be polite.
For instance, what really grinds me is....Its a beautiful day, absolutely lovely, and all I want to do is go outside and sit in the Gazebo, and take a nice quiet break, and think of nothing, but smelling the say, feeling the warmth of the sun....and doesn't someone come out, and get on their phone and start talking away...I cannot tell you how that ruins the mood, not to mention, now, I have to sit there and listen to "their personal conversation". If you want to talk on your phone, have some consideration for others and walk away?
How many husbands, today, walk around the car, extend their hand to their wives or girlfriend, and help them out of the car?
how many people actually walk in the out door at a store? How many people know, which is the in door and which is the outdoor.
How bout when your walking down the hallway, two abreast, and talking, forgetting that someone else is walking your way, and you actually make them turn, so that YOU can get by?
I mean, lets truly think about it, how many people go into public places and allow their kids to race around, yelling and screaming, with no regard for another's private space.
I was in a store once, not to long ago, and a toddler, in the cart, looked at his dad and said, F you dad, several times, and the dad laughed. I wonder what kind of kid that one's going to grow up to be.
when we were kids and in a public place, we had to whisper if we wanted to say something to our parents....
We are all connected by a very thin/invisable fiber, and when we loose respect, awareness, politeness, we forget how our thoughts, actions, words and decissions affect the lives of so many other people. We, I fear, as a society are declining...rapidly...due to the lack of respect for others.
What I'm saying is, actions speak louder then words and the best way to pass onto your children, these forgotten ways, is to become aware of our actions and start showing others that we care by our actions...and our children will follow suit.
the old saying, "if your leaders are corrupt, so to, will be your people" is so true...it is a trickle down effect...we've become a society of individualists...forgetting about everyone else around us...and using some good ol fashioned kindness/politeness towards others.
What do you think? What could you do to extend kindness towards another? Next time your in a grocery store, and you have a large order and there is someone standing behind you with only a few items, why don't you allow that person to go ahead of you.
Next time you want to use your phone, why don't you walk away from others to have your conversation? It's such a small thing, but means so much....
Next time you go to a movie theater and your child starts crying, get up and walk out, so that you don't ruin it for others....when the child calms down, go back in...or leave...I'm sure the manager would understand and give you your money back....
Next time your in a restaurant, leave the cell phones off....for goodness sake, you don't like it when someone lights up a cigerette in a restaurant? Why would you think someone beside you, who wants to have a nice quiet enjoyable dinner out, wants to sit there and listen to your personal conversation....?
Hold the door open for the people behind you...don't let it slam in their faces....and ladies, don't be so offended if someone holds the door open for you....thank them. I hold the door for both men and women...
and the words, thank you, how many people are forgetting to say, "thank you"? or "Please"
I remember, my brother, years ago, when he was little, walking down past the neighbors yard, and telling me...."you can look at those pretty flowers, but you are not allowed to touch, because they are not ours, except to look at". How thoughtful he was....
Husbands, what is wrong with planning a date night out with your wife, or perhaps a get away weekend....Surprise her with something special to say, "thank you, I appreciate you".
I think, practicing these little things alone, might pick up the spirits of everyone, including you. Doing something for someone else....goes a heck of a long long way...
Would you like to share something nice you did for someone, or that someone did for you of late?
If you see an older woman struggling with groceries, help her....
Lets Pay it Forward...and if someone looks surprised, then say to them, "your welcome, why not "pay it forward".
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post I find that I buy a bigger load at the grocery store, in order to avoid having to go back a few days later....because people are so darn annoying there. Yes, people talking on your cell phones while leaving your cart in the middle of the isle, I'm talking to you. If someone holds the door open for me, I always smile & say thank you.
My office recently moved to a new location. I was very happy to move, because I thought the people who we shared our old building with were always very rude. Not only would they NEVER hold a door open for you, they would stare at you when you walked by, without a smile or hello, they would push through the smaller hall or the door, never allowing you to go first. I swear there were even some women who would grunt while I walked by them in the bathroom, almost like a low growl. I always felt it was because our office rented their building from them, and they somehow felt 'superior,' or something. It has been a few months, and I am still surprised by the kindness of the people in our new building. They always smile & say hello, and will even ask if I am from our company & how do we like the building so far? It's so refreshing.
I too have a gripe with people who talk loudly on their cell phones in public places. I understand that there isn't always a private place to go talk on your phone, but if you have to be close to other people...talk QUIETLY. I always lower my voice if there are a lot of people around and I don't want to be rude. This reminds me of a lady in my townhome communty...my fiance and I call her the 'loud-mouth.' She is always outside, and she always has to watch everybody & know what's going on. The most aggravating thing about her, is how EVERY time she has a phone conversation, she has to stand in her front yard and talk as loud as possible on the phone. That's right, the entire neighborhood can hear everything she is saying on the phone. It is extremely annoying and it makes it hard to enjoy a nice day outside.
Ok, finally, I would like to admit that I was quite rude to someone at the grocery store a few weeks back, and it bothers me to think about it. I was extremely aggravated-rough day, bad traffic, on my way home from work. The store was crowded & I had had enough. I had maybe 3 things in my arm and the lines were long. I started to make my way to the self check out isles, and this lady offered to let me go ahead of her. I was already starting to make my way to the self-checkout and didn't want to be stuck behind the idiot who was already in front of her. Instead of smiling & being polite, I rudely told her I was going to the self-checkout isle and took off. I wish I could apoligize to her, because I know I was rude. I just felt frustrated.
jrsydevil82
Ok, finally, I would like to admit that I was quite rude to someone at the grocery store a few weeks back, and it bothers me to think about it. I was extremely aggravated-rough day, bad traffic, on my way home from work. The store was crowded & I had had enough. I had maybe 3 things in my arm and the lines were long. I started to make my way to the self check out isles, and this lady offered to let me go ahead of her. I was already starting to make my way to the self-checkout and didn't want to be stuck behind the idiot who was already in front of her. Instead of smiling & being polite, I rudely told her I was going to the self-checkout isle and took off. I wish I could apoligize to her, because I know I was rude. I just felt frustrated.
awwww, don't be so hard on yourself, we can't all be perfect little angels all of the time, every second of the day....just the point that you recognized your rudeness, will help you along the next time....
ya think your the only one who has been rude, honey, I take the prize for being a rude sob....
My post was me talking to me, not just other people here in the forums...
We just as a society, have to become more aware of others, more aware of the private space of others...I'm glad your a polite cell phone user....
Sure hope everything is coming back together down at the shore points....Sandy was devestating, but now, Oaklahoma, can you believe those tornadoes were 2 miles wide? All those poor people...?
I can say though I don't always feel obligated to let the person with just one item go ahead of me, depends on how much of a hurry I am in.
we're all in a hurry, maybe next time you'll think about it...I personally, and this is no reflection on you, but if I have a cart full, and there is someone behind me with 1 - 5 items, I would feel so bad, if I didn't allow them to go first, doesn't take that long to ring up a few items...maybe next time you will allow them to go ahead...maybe not, but exhibiting some thoughtfulness on all our parts, including me, would certainly extend surprise and gratitude in the person behind you....
Your post is excellent and a timely reminder to all of us. Thank you!
I too let people with only a few items go ahead of me in line, and hold the door for someone behind me. Like you, it's the way I was raised. It seems normal, and I'm always shocked when I go somewhere (the 'big city', lol) and see people pushing or jostling to get through doors first. Unless Sean Connery is on the other side of the door (showing my age here ), I don't need to propel myself with my elbows.
For a while it seemed that inconsiderate behavior was getting exponentially worse with each generation, but now I think I see the pendulum starting to swing the other way. Teens working at hunger drives, filling sandbags for flooding, building homes for Habitat for Humanity - these kinds of things are getting publicity and thus more and more people, especially their peers, are following their example of service to their fellow humans. I'm much encouraged!
Edited to add: The loud cell phone talkers annoy me too, but really, I notice it's people my age who are the worst offenders. A lack of familiarity with technology, plus age-related hearing loss, is a terrible combination! The twenty-somethings with their Bluetooth earpieces still look nuts as they walk along talking to themselves, but at least they aren't shouting.
Last edited by couch coyote; 05-21-2013 at 10:11 AM..
coyote lite Your post is excellent and a timely reminder to all of us. Thank you!
I too let people with only a few items go ahead of me in line, and hold the door for someone behind me. Like you, it's the way I was raised. It seems normal, and I'm always shocked when I go somewhere (the 'big city', lol) and see people pushing or jostling to get through doors first. Unless Sean Connery is on the other side of the door (showing my age here ), I don't need to propel myself with my elbows.
LOL, or Liam...
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For a while it seemed that inconsiderate behavior was getting exponentially worse with each generation, but now I think I see the pendulum starting to swing the other way. Teens working at hunger drives, filling sandbags for flooding, building homes for Habitat for Humanity - these kinds of things are getting publicity and thus more and more people, especially their peers, are following their example of service to their fellow humans. I'm much encouraged!
at least there is hope....
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Edited to add: The loud cell phone talkers annoy me too, but really, I notice it's people my age who are the worst offenders. A lack of familiarity with technology, plus age-related hearing loss, is a terrible combination! The twenty-somethings with their Bluetooth earpieces still look nuts as they walk along talking to themselves, but at least they aren't shouting.
they should have those earpieces surgically implanted....yanno?
boy that reminds me, I went to a doctors office, huge, and the waiting room was huge, and there was this older woman on the phone, lol, wanted to get up and slap her, she just kept on and on and on...extremely annoying....
I don't own a cell phone, hate them...and my friends all get angry with me, b/c I don't have one, and I tell them....call me at home....period....I mean, to be that addicted to a phone...seriously? When I get home, the last thing I want to do is talk on the phone...want to wind down and relax, no noise, yanno? It seems like home is the only sanctuary any longer, honestly, any where you go, there are people talking on cell phones and it is really annoying....no more peace and quiet, melding with nature...
Yanno, I was in Walmart the other day, at the check out with a fairly large order. There was a man behind me, who had only one item...so, I invited him to go ahead of me...and do that a lot...I find when I do that, people are shocked, b/c not many do that any longer.
I always let people with just a couple things go in front of me. Once I let THREE people go in front of me, and the third one was very hesitant to take me up on my offer. No big deal to me, I'm not in that much of a hurry. I find some people extend this courtesy to me as well, but now that most stores have the "12 items or less" lanes, and the self checkout lanes, I think people don't offer as much.
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For instance, what really grinds me is....Its a beautiful day, absolutely lovely, and all I want to do is go outside and sit in the Gazebo, and take a nice quiet break, and think of nothing, but smelling the say, feeling the warmth of the sun....and doesn't someone come out, and get on their phone and start talking away...I cannot tell you how that ruins the mood, not to mention, now, I have to sit there and listen to "their personal conversation". If you want to talk on your phone, have some consideration for others and walk away?
I was stuck in a waiting room one time, there was really nowhere else I could go, and this 20-something woman was talking SOOO loudly on her cell phone, about (of all the inappropriate topics one could think of)........her recent abortion!!!!!! I don't care which side of that controversial topic you're on, you don't want to be a captive audience to hearing those details!!
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How many husbands, today, walk around the car, extend their hand to their wives or girlfriend, and help them out of the car?
<Raising my hand excitedly> Mine does!! Sometimes people comment on how sweet that is.
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how many people actually walk in the out door at a store? How many people know, which is the in door and which is the outdoor.
Guilty as charged. I certainly don't run ramrod over other people going the "correct" direction, but if it's bad weather or I'm just feeling lazy, I'll go in whichever is closer.
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I mean, lets truly think about it, how many people go into public places and allow their kids to race around, yelling and screaming, with no regard for another's private space.
Yep, I just started a thread over in Parenting a couple days ago about my recent experience.
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I was in a store once, not to long ago, and a toddler, in the cart, looked at his dad and said, F you dad, several times, and the dad laughed. I wonder what kind of kid that one's going to grow up to be.
That is absolutely disgusting. I know that the "F-bomb" has pretty much worked its way into everyday language, sadly, but for a father to think it's cute or funny??? Sick.
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when we were kids and in a public place, we had to whisper if we wanted to say something to our parents....
I like that rule. Now, the "children are to be seen and not heard" was overboard (my parents were overly strict in my opinion; my mom likes to boast about how when we were little, if she told us to sit down somewhere and be quiet, we knew we better not get up nor make a peep, even if hours went by)
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We are all connected by a very thin/invisible fiber, and when we lose respect, awareness, politeness, we forget how our thoughts, actions, words and decisions affect the lives of so many other people. We, I fear, as a society are declining...rapidly...due to the lack of respect for others.
Beautifully said.
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Next time you want to use your phone, why don't you walk away from others to have your conversation? It's such a small thing, but means so much....
I think a lot of us would just be happy if people in general would stop using their cell phones in movie theaters and other similar places. Those of us who still believe in common courtesies are apparently going to have to be willing to stand up, as firmly as the situation requires, to these nincompoops who think the world revolves around them. There is really good discussion of this in a thread about the man who snatched away a woman's cell phone and threw it across the theater. I see valid points on both sides of that argument, but what stood out to me was a comment that some people's behavior is getting ruder and ruder because no one ever confronts them about it. We are, in essence, allowing and enabling bad behavior if we sit by and say/do nothing, implying that what they are doing is perfectly fine.
I was stuck in a waiting room one time, there was really nowhere else I could go, and this 20-something woman was talking SOOO loudly on her cell phone, about (of all the inappropriate topics one could think of)........her recent abortion!!!!!! I don't care which side of that controversial topic you're on, you don't want to be a captive audience to hearing those details!!
I think we need to start speaking up, I wouldn't have wanted to hear that either....
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<Raising my hand excitedly> Mine does!! Sometimes people comment on how sweet that is.
this really made me smile....you got a winner!!!!
Enjoyed your sense of humor and reading this....thank you
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,763,058 times
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Originally Posted by cremebrulee
Yanno, I was in Walmart the other day, at the check out with a fairly large order. There was a man behind me, who had only one item...so, I invited him to go ahead of me...and do that a lot...I find when I do that, people are shocked, b/c not many do that any longer. We as a society have lost awareness for others..., honestly, the man was so schocked, he said, no one had ever done that for him before?????? I couldn't believe it, yet, thought, "how sad" that our society has become a conglomerate of individualists unaware of the word, politeness....Oh, yes, there are a few who practice awareness, but with so many adults becoming individualists...I fear their children will never know how to be polite.
For instance, what really grinds me is....Its a beautiful day, absolutely lovely, and all I want to do is go outside and sit in the Gazebo, and take a nice quiet break, and think of nothing, but smelling the say, feeling the warmth of the sun....and doesn't someone come out, and get on their phone and start talking away...I cannot tell you how that ruins the mood, not to mention, now, I have to sit there and listen to "their personal conversation". If you want to talk on your phone, have some consideration for others and walk away?
How many husbands, today, walk around the car, extend their hand to their wives or girlfriend, and help them out of the car?
how many people actually walk in the out door at a store? How many people know, which is the in door and which is the outdoor.
How bout when your walking down the hallway, two abreast, and talking, forgetting that someone else is walking your way, and you actually make them turn, so that YOU can get by?
I mean, lets truly think about it, how many people go into public places and allow their kids to race around, yelling and screaming, with no regard for another's private space.
I was in a store once, not to long ago, and a toddler, in the cart, looked at his dad and said, F you dad, several times, and the dad laughed. I wonder what kind of kid that one's going to grow up to be.
when we were kids and in a public place, we had to whisper if we wanted to say something to our parents....
We are all connected by a very thin/invisable fiber, and when we loose respect, awareness, politeness, we forget how our thoughts, actions, words and decissions affect the lives of so many other people. We, I fear, as a society are declining...rapidly...due to the lack of respect for others.
What I'm saying is, actions speak louder then words and the best way to pass onto your children, these forgotten ways, is to become aware of our actions and start showing others that we care by our actions...and our children will follow suit.
the old saying, "if your leaders are corrupt, so to, will be your people" is so true...it is a trickle down effect...we've become a society of individualists...forgetting about everyone else around us...and using some good ol fashioned kindness/politeness towards others.
What do you think? What could you do to extend kindness towards another? Next time your in a grocery store, and you have a large order and there is someone standing behind you with only a few items, why don't you allow that person to go ahead of you.
Next time you want to use your phone, why don't you walk away from others to have your conversation? It's such a small thing, but means so much....
Next time you go to a movie theater and your child starts crying, get up and walk out, so that you don't ruin it for others....when the child calms down, go back in...or leave...I'm sure the manager would understand and give you your money back....
Next time your in a restaurant, leave the cell phones off....for goodness sake, you don't like it when someone lights up a cigerette in a restaurant? Why would you think someone beside you, who wants to have a nice quiet enjoyable dinner out, wants to sit there and listen to your personal conversation....?
Hold the door open for the people behind you...don't let it slam in their faces....and ladies, don't be so offended if someone holds the door open for you....thank them. I hold the door for both men and women...
and the words, thank you, how many people are forgetting to say, "thank you"? or "Please"
I remember, my brother, years ago, when he was little, walking down past the neighbors yard, and telling me...."you can look at those pretty flowers, but you are not allowed to touch, because they are not ours, except to look at". How thoughtful he was....
Husbands, what is wrong with planning a date night out with your wife, or perhaps a get away weekend....Surprise her with something special to say, "thank you, I appreciate you".
I think, practicing these little things alone, might pick up the spirits of everyone, including you. Doing something for someone else....goes a heck of a long long way...
Would you like to share something nice you did for someone, or that someone did for you of late?
If you see an older woman struggling with groceries, help her....
Lets Pay it Forward...and if someone looks surprised, then say to them, "your welcome, why not "pay it forward".
Honestly, I think your agenda is going to fall on deaf ears, mine included.
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For instance, what really grinds me is....Its a beautiful day, absolutely lovely, and all I want to do is go outside and sit in the Gazebo, and take a nice quiet break, and think of nothing, but smelling the say, feeling the warmth of the sun....and doesn't someone come out, and get on their phone and start talking away...I cannot tell you how that ruins the mood, not to mention, now, I have to sit there and listen to "their personal conversation". If you want to talk on your phone, have some consideration for others and walk away?
If you have two working legs, dammit, why don't YOU walk away if you don't want to hear my convo? Unless there is a posted sign that says no cell phone use, I am free to use that Gazebo for my purposes too.
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How many husbands, today, walk around the car, extend their hand to their wives or girlfriend, and help them out of the car?
Sorry, if the wife has working limbs, me helping her out the car like a child would probably be an insult to her independence.
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How bout when your walking down the hallway, two abreast, and talking, forgetting that someone else is walking your way, and you actually make them turn, so that YOU can get by?
I mean, lets truly think about it, how many people go into public places and allow their kids to race around, yelling and screaming, with no regard for another's private space.
I was in a store once, not to long ago, and a toddler, in the cart, looked at his dad and said, F you dad, several times, and the dad laughed. I wonder what kind of kid that one's going to grow up to be.
No argument here on these points.
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when we were kids and in a public place, we had to whisper if we wanted to say something to our parents....
How is my mom supposed to hear me if I whisper? Hell, she has enough trouble hearing my regular speaking voice.
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We are all connected by a very thin/invisable fiber, and when we loose respect, awareness, politeness, we forget how our thoughts, actions, words and decissions affect the lives of so many other people. We, I fear, as a society are declining...rapidly...due to the lack of respect for others.
We as a society are only following what our leaders do, since they are our leaders apparently it works in some fashion.
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Next time you want to use your phone, why don't you walk away from others to have your conversation? It's such a small thing, but means so much....
Umm, what if I get a important call while I'm on a bus or a train heading into Downtown DC? Cannot exactly walk away from others.
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Next time you go to a movie theater and your child starts crying, get up and walk out, so that you don't ruin it for others....when the child calms down, go back in...or leave...I'm sure the manager would understand and give you your money back....
Hehe, you know nothing about running a business do you? This business management major laughs at your last sentence.
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Husbands, what is wrong with planning a date night out with your wife, or perhaps a get away weekend....Surprise her with something special to say, "thank you, I appreciate you".
I think, practicing these little things alone, might pick up the spirits of everyone, including you. Doing something for someone else....goes a heck of a long long way...
Umm, a little sexist here aren't we? Why is it the man's job to do this ? How about wives show a little appreciation and initative and do this, eh?
All in all, I think your agenda is fighting a losing battle. I look at this America as the price we have to pay for many modern conveniences and freedoms. I'll take a "heartless" America where I have a lot of gadgets that make my life easier to manage and I have more control over my fate than a "nice" America where I have to follow a moral code or be stoned. Funny, everyone talks about the good old days in the 50s and 60s where everyone was "nice" without realizing that most of those days absolutely sucked for women and minorities.
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), I don't need to propel myself with my elbows.
The twenty-somethings with their Bluetooth earpieces still look nuts as they walk along talking to themselves, but at least they aren't shouting. 
? How about wives show a little appreciation and initative and do this, eh?
