The "new" person..... (wife, male, talks, personality)

[Tell-the-Truth]

Thought it'd be interesting to read stories about being the new person on the job, a particular group etc. where you were not neccesarily welcomed or out right snubbed. what happened? how did you respond? how did it eventually turn out?

General discussion, not personally looking for advice

[Tell-the-Truth]

also, if you notice that a new person isn't being well received are you the type to make them feel comfortable, do you ignore the situation?

How do you treat newbies? what if they are arrogant and come in telling you how things should be done? how do you respond?

[Fleur66]

I think all parties have responsibility in the situation.

A new person who starts a job with a know it all or tattletale attitude on day 1 I have no sympathy for.

[chef.sunny22]

I'm always nice to the new person. I've always been too nice to people and attracted my share of bizarre characters.

I think if there is a newbie at work or college or wherever we should try to be friendly.

I've had mixed results as the new person. It's kind of a crappy feeling being new at a job because you have to get to know the resident crazy person, the tattletale (as someone stated before).

[fallingwater]

I joined a photography group at meet up.com a couple of years ago. After relocating and not knowing a soul here I thought it might be a good way to meet people. I showed up at the place scheduled and no one was there. I sat waiting for about 20 minutes and was about to get up and leave when one of the restaurant staff asked me if I needed anything. I told her about the meeting. She was like ohh...ya..they are in room such and such. Apparently the group decided to move the venue to a completely different location in the building. So nice of them to let me know. The atmosphere was odd and not very welcoming. I tried making conversation with the group leader and she wasn't very friendly. I left the meeting pretty sure I would not be back. The next day I got an email from the group leader with a bill of 35 dollars. 35 bucks for what? Apparently they charge a fee to join. I replied thanking her but I decided it wasn't for me. Over a year later she sent out a mass email on the group events, like I was part of the group. Weird.

[Rhenzanite]

At my last job, I was hired into an all male department where there had never been a girl in the entire history of the company. They guys were nice enough, but I never really felt like I belonged. They would make plans to hang out or go out right in front of me, not invite me and then walk away. Whenever I asked if I could come along, they would always make excuses (we decided not to go etc.) and then I'd find out they really did go.

That wasn't too terrible, but the worst was that I was never invited to department meetings. When I asked the owner of the company why, he said 'well, you're not really part of the department so there's no need for you to be there'. When one of my coworkers got married, I was the only one not invited... even the 2 new guys that had been there less than 6 months were invited.

Even after 5 years there I never quite felt like I fit in. I got along great with everyone and they seemed to like me, but it just never clicked. I knew I would never fit in though, because the owner of the company didn't feel that a woman belonged in the maintenance department and he didn't like the fact that I didn't follow him around and worship him like the other employees. When I got laid off, he replaced me with his best friends wife who has absolutely no opinions of her own and just does whatever he tells her to. Perfect for him.

[Tell-the-Truth]

Originally Posted by fallingwater

I joined a photography group at meet up.com a couple of years ago. After relocating and not knowing a soul here I thought it might be a good way to meet people. I showed up at the place scheduled and no one was there. I sat waiting for about 20 minutes and was about to get up and leave when one of the restaurant staff asked me if I needed anything. I told her about the meeting. She was like ohh...ya..they are in room such and such. Apparently the group decided to move the venue to a completely different location in the building. So nice of them to let me know. The atmosphere was odd and not very welcoming. I tried making conversation with the group leader and she wasn't very friendly. I left the meeting pretty sure I would not be back. The next day I got an email from the group leader with a bill of 35 dollars. 35 bucks for what? Apparently they charge a fee to join. I replied thanking her but I decided it wasn't for me. Over a year later she sent out a mass email on the group events, like I was part of the group. Weird.

wow! smh

[Bluesmama]

Have to admit, I've not seen this occur in my 21 years in my current job. It's been the other way around ~ newbies are welcomed well enough, but occasionally people will start to chill against one due to something about that person's ethics. Interestingly, many of those few did not remain with the company.

Luckily, I haven't had to deal with a newbie know-it-all and am very grateful for that. Because that happens to be one of the personality types that I can't stand. I have a nephew like that. No matter what it is, he always knows more than the other person, even when it's obvious that he doesn't know diddley-squat. You can't work with this type of person ~ they are untrainable.

[ShellNic]

I'm currently working with a newbie know-it-all...I'm struggling with her, that's for sure. Normally, I would leave that sort all to themselves...normally, I try to make everyone feel welcome...especially if they're obviously "weirder" than the group. I know what it feels like so I try to compensate...

However, the one I'm struggling with now is in my group. I was a group of 3, now we're 4 and in the first week, she's telling me how stupid our software is (no duh...like I've not been here before today?), how backwards this procedure is, how her old job was...how smart she is in this field...

WELL...come to find out...she isn't all that smart in this field. She only knows one side of it and honestly, it's not the most important side. She JUST NOW passed and got her GED...cannot believe she got this job without a HS diploma...holy crap what were they thinking? But she needed her GED to get licensed...now she's trying to get her license with the max hours (um, need a college degree for that)...

I'm probably not making any sense but I promise this woman is more interested in how things look than in the substance of the work. She also has some race issues and wow, she makes me nervouse being around her. Thing is, she talks over everyone she deals with and her basic comprehension is limited. I think she's good at selling herself but I'm not seeing the "backup" required to excel. But hey, trying not to interfere. On the few occasions when I offered some advice...just helpful hints and some support...she didn't hear a word I said. I know this b/c her response was based off of what she said before I had the nerve to speak in her presence.

She'll hang herself...and I'll let her...not enough energy to help anymore. Plus, I'll be damned if I let her help me on my work and I get penalized for her mistake...NEVER going to happen. Sad really...

[crisan]

I guess I have been lucky. My boss does not hire know-it-alls or if she does, their time with us is short lived.

We are expected to make all newbies feel welcome. Our boss will ask the newbie in front of us how we are treating him/her.