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Years ago, when people got married in their early 20s and soon after had kids.. and the game started changing...
There was an article showing statistics where if you didn't have kids by the time you were 26, the odds went down significantly each year that you ever would.. because at 26, you're old enough to really start seeing what it all takes to raise a kid.
Where if you have them when you're super young.. you're to naive to get what it's all going to take.
Before you had children of your own, you thought being an uncle was the epitome of living children. Then you had children and changed your mind.
You solved the riddle. If you never had them, you don't know what you are missing.
What you refuse to take into account is there are some of us who would rather be ripped apart by a great white shark than ever find out what we're missing.
What you refuse to take into account is there are some of us who would rather be ripped apart by a great white shark than ever find out what we're missing.
Yeah, my sister is 38 & she's never wanted children. Not only that; she's not a "kid person". Sure, she tolerates some children, spending time with cousins or friends' kids, but that's only when she has to. She doesn't like kids but feels bad/guilty/judged if people find out. A woman isn't supposed to dislike children, in some people's opinions.
I am 28 years old and I will turn 29 very soon. Well, I have to say that I am that kind of girls who never truly thought about having children. I love children, especially my three adorable baby nephews. Children love me too. I just have never truly thought about having babies of my own.
I am in a relationship with a gorgeous wonderful man, and I have to say that sometimes, I thought about having babies with him. He told me he thought about having children with me too. But if we never have any children, it is not going to be a deal breaker. I guess I feel the same way.
Well, I am just curious. Do you regret not having kids?
I have a girlfriend who is 45 years old right now, and she is very depressed for not having children. When she was in her 20s and early 30s, she concentrated on having a fulfilling career. She found the love of her life at age of 39, they've tried several years of having children, but doctor told her that her eggs were just too old, and none of her eggs were healthy enough. She is now 45, successful, married, childless, depressed, and unhappy.
I know it is kind of silly to ask internet strangers this kind of question about my future. I honestly don't know what it is like to have no children in the future. Some people told me they really do enjoy life without children, some people told me they are indifferent, some people really regret not having children when they could. But obviously, it is too late for them.
What have been your experiences? Thank you.
No regrets here, and I'm 59. My older sis never had kids either. She and her husband never had any desire to have children. I love my friends' children but am glad they're not mine.
When I was in my 30s I considered adopting a couple of children, perhaps ones who were difficult to place because they were a little older and had some minor physical impairments. I do have a lot of love to give. But at the time I wasn't making much money and didn't feel I could do a very good job of parenting since I was single and had to work full-time. (That's not a slam against single moms at all. If you can work it out, more power to you!) I didn't even have health insurance so could not have afforded to properly care for the children with doctor visits and all.
I occasionally have a twinge of envy when I see my friends doting over their grandchildren.
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However, I love kids! I have always enjoyed taking care of them, playing with my friends' kids, and in my late-teens/twenties, I swore I would adopt a child if I couldn't conceive. Thought I'd absolutely die if I never had one. But I asked God to remove the longing and, at forty-two, I'm glad I never had a baby. Too much ugliness in this world. And a ton of responsibility.
Having come from a very dysfunctional home I knew at an early age that I would never reproduce. It also didn't fit my workaholic life style. I have a lot of kids in my life and I have the best of both worlds. I get the fun part without the day to day problems. I'm just hoping they come and visit us once in a while when we're really old and one of us is alone. Hmmm, sounds like it may be kind of like that with biological kids as well only we'll have the money to hire someone to take care of us instead of depending on some one who may or may not be there. No regrets here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vector1 However there is no denying that one of lifes greatest gifts/pleasures is having and raising kids.
Oh, yes there is, and prattling on as if your point of view is the "one true way" only makes you look obtuse.
I notice that the parents who make these sweeping statements are typically not the ones who have had to bail their child out of jail several times, place them in rehabs (not just for drugs - I knew someone who worked in a residential treatment facility and the stories would make your hair curl - young teens in there for arson, torturing animals, sex offenses like rape and bestiality ), whose children are bullies or bullied themselves (sometimes to the point where they want to take their own life). Call me pessimistic, but these things can all happen despite parents doing their best to provide a good and loving home. Nothing is a given. I'd like to hear what those parents have to say, but they're eerily quiet on threads like these.
I wish people with kids and people without kids would quit making assumptions about the others decisions. How many times do we have to hear a parent say that people without kids MUST be sad because of what they're missing out on by not raising a child or some child free person say that clearly parents MUST regret having kids due to the expense and/or loss of freedom?
If you're happy with your choices in life, why the need to go around insisting that others who made different choices must be unhappy with theirs?
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I just have never truly thought about having babies of my own.
), whose children are bullies or bullied themselves (sometimes to the point where they want to take their own life). Call me pessimistic, but these things can all happen despite parents doing their best to provide a good and loving home. Nothing is a given. I'd like to hear what those parents have to say, but they're eerily quiet on threads like these.
