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Oh...and to whoever repped me saying that I sound angry and wondered if I am happy doing it all alone - if I am angry, I have no problem stating it. Refuting assumptions with logic is not anger. As for doing it "all alone", I am proud of what I have accomplished for myself and how I turned a bad childhood into a great adulthood. BTW, I am not really alone as I have great friends and loved ones in my like. I am truly grateful. Thank you for the concern, though!
Imagine a world with no foster kids,nearly empty prisons, and very few murders.If fewer people had fewer children maybe mankind could respect and love each other more.
Fixed that. Fewer people means happier people. Humanity has reached the tipping point. Between oil and water shortages, future residents of planet earth can count on famine, disease and early death until the human population reaches a stable, sustainable number. Or humanity goes extinct. The planet doesn't care.
I never wanted kids until I was about 38 - tried for years - then adopted - then got pregnant at 41. I never liked kids until I had my OWN kids - that makes a big difference. I love my adopted son as much as my bio. son. There is no difference in that love - people who will not consider adoption are very selfish to think they are so great that the child has to have their genes - how conceited can you get?
Anyway - I regret not having them sooner when I had more energy - but they changed me from being a self centered person into being a loving Mom - I know some people should not have kids and that is O.K. but I believe it is the greatest experience in life - now I did not believe that until after I had kids - your entire mindset changes - IMO
First: Always remember: I before E except after C. First grade stuff.
What a weird little rule!
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Originally Posted by psichick
As for all this genetics bit, my thought is this.....stop helping women conceive. No more IVF, no more fertility drugs. If they can't, too bad. Obviously there's a reason for it. The world is overpopulated as it is.
Reminds me... a couple I know in Texas have declared bankruptcy twice (in Texas they let you keep you house, your cars etc) and spent $100K on fertility treatments so they could have "their own" child... all covered by her insurance from her job (which means we all paid for it, of course) ... guess what, they finally gave up and she got pregnant within two months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by swgirl926
Absolutely not. And I regret it even less every day.
[...] Anything else? My bingo marker is getting dried out.
Brilliant post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tele-Cat
Fixed that. Fewer people means happier people. Humanity has reached the tipping point. Between oil and water shortages, future residents of planet earth can count on famine, disease and early death until the human population reaches a stable, sustainable number. Or humanity goes extinct. The planet doesn't care.
The number of magnificent animals approaching extinction is shocking and disgraceful. Slaughtered by human stupidity, greed, selfishness, carelessness, or just elimination of their habitats...
What burns me up is that the people who are most in favor of unlimited human procreation are often the same ones quoting scripture and telling us about what "God" wants everyone to do... while that same unlimited procreation is eliminating "God's Creatures" one by one.
As noted above, there are now over seven billion humans. The single best thing you can do for the planet is not have children.
...but they changed me from being a self centered person into being a loving Mom - I know some people should not have kids and that is O.K. but I believe it is the greatest experience in life - now I did not believe that until after I had kids - your entire mindset changes - IMO
I'm glad that you're happy with your choices & it seems having children made you grow up. But, not all of us without kids are self-centered & selfish & not everyone who has them looses those 2 qualities. It depends upon the individual. Many single people are generous & selfless & decide not to have children for a whole host of reasons. I've known far more selfish marrieds w/kids.
And, yes, I realize you weren't speaking in broad terms, but of your own situation... I'm merely elaborating because I think a lot of people think those who don't procreate make this choose because they only want time for themselves. I've known very few in that category.
I did not even know how self centered I was until I had kids - seriously - until I felt that from the gut fierce love that a Mom has - I wish I could express it in words - I would die for my child - I am just saying I would hate to see someone miss out on that experience...
I did not even know how self centered I was until I had kids - seriously - until I felt that from the gut fierce love that a Mom has - I wish I could express it in words - I would die for my child - I am just saying I would hate to see someone miss out on that experience...
I know this is a common sentiment of new mothers....and while I can see it... I can also get a veiled insult too... trying not to take it personally, but I really feel that just because I don't have kids I'm some how a self centered person and maybe, just maybe you may be right..... just trying to be objective and not take your "realization" personal as you don't know me or others that don't have kids......
I did not even know how self centered I was until I had kids - seriously - until I felt that from the gut fierce love that a Mom has - I wish I could express it in words - I would die for my child - I am just saying I would hate to see someone miss out on that experience...
*shrug* Research the hormone Oxytocin. It is (in normal cases) released during childbirth and promotes bonding, lactating and maternal aggression (that intense protective feeling). Speculation is that the oft-repeated phrase "I don't like any kids but my own" is provoked by the hormone.
So, saying "I would hate to see someone miss out on that experience" - you're high on a naturally released drug, and acting like a pusher to get someone else hooked
I did not even know how self centered I was until I had kids - seriously
I find that quite sad & a bit scarey, actually. Some of us have an inner knowing of the importance of others, through compassion from an early age.
Quote:
until I felt that from the gut fierce love that a Mom has - I would die for my child
I raised younger siblings & protected them as any child should be fiercely protected... far better than our inept bio parents. 'Gut fierce love' for my siblings was inherent as their caretaker, even though they didn't fall out of my body. To assume one cannot have that quality until they grow out of their selfishness & breed is stunningly dismissive of many other types of parents... adoptive, fosters or like me, a parent to siblings.
You're commenting on your own growing up & assuming everyone is like you... not caring much for others 'til you have your own. This sentiment exactly, is why I think so many kids are manner-less & selfish with little care for others. Their once selfish parents only care about their own kids... further selfishness on the parent's part now imparted to little Johnny & Jane.
Reminds me... a couple I know in Texas have declared bankruptcy twice (in Texas they let you keep you house, your cars etc) and spent $100K on fertility treatments so they could have "their own" child... all covered by her insurance from her job (which means we all paid for it, of course) ... guess what, they finally gave up and she got pregnant within two months.
How do you figure that we are all paying for her private insurance through her work?
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Reminds me... a couple I know in Texas have declared bankruptcy twice (in Texas they let you keep you house, your cars etc) and spent $100K on fertility treatments so they could have "their own" child... all covered by her insurance from her job (which means we all paid for it, of course) ... guess what, they finally gave up and she got pregnant within two months. 
