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Since your name is on the deed, you can't go by landlord tenant laws since you are a co-owner. Move out and rent it to someone else. Collect your portion of the rent to apply towards rent elsewhere. When the house is paid off, you'll have to figure out a way to settle with your parents, which will probably require buying them out of their portion. Even if you stay, they won't hand over the house after the mortgage is paid off. Until you move, definitely change the locks.
I'm about at the point where I wonder if I should talk to a law enforcement official and see if I can't get some legal advice here. If not I could locate a realtor and ask about what the rights and responsibilities of tenants and landlords are on paper...
is there a mature adult way to handle this????
The mature adult way would be to politely deny admittance to the cleaner hired by your parents.
Then you can choose to clean your house yourself or move or change your locks but please don't bother realtors or law enforcement officers with your drama, they have more important things to deal with.
This is a control issue. Maybe your home is fine by your standards, which, are not your parents standards.
You have a few choices here...
1. Honestly, is your house out of control?
2. Accept the help, put your pride away.
3. Stand your ground, change the locks, immediately look for a new place...
Me, I have no pride, and less money, I would just take the help...
My brother and sister in-law lived in a house owned by my father and they paid him on a buying program. It didn't work. My father would go there and dictate who could be in the house and who couldn't. He didn't like my SIL's relatives and said they could not come to the house. My brother and SIL just up and moved out one day and into an apartment and dumped the thing in his lap.
You have a choice here, please don't act like you don't.
Well, here goes. I haven't been in therapy for awhile since things are doing fine. Then out of the blue today my control-freak mother calls and says that a maid or cleaning lady is coming to my house next week. When I explain that I don't need "maid service" they clamor that their names are on the deed, it's their house too, blah blah blah. Granted my interiors may never make it to Better Homes and gardens magazines front cover. But my husband and I do a pretty good job of keeping a 2 bedroom, 2 bath townhouse looking clean with three furbabies running around (2 cats, 1 dog, and the dog is not inside all the time, except late at night, when we started getting colder than normal temps) Yes, their names are on the deed, but so is mine and my husband and I pay them the mortgage every month. On time. We are model tenants. But this tyranny is getting old. It is getting to the point where my husband and I are considering moving. This home is probably 12 years from being paid off entirely. But I digress a little. ..
A CLEANING LADY????? I thought only rich people had those...Every time I am on the phone with one of them all I here about is I need to lose weight, I never clean the house worth a $hit, I'm on medications I shouldn't be on (I could go on and on but I think whoever is reading this gets it by now)
The bottom line is WHAT BUSINESS DO THEY HAVE HIRING A CLEANING LADY????? it's all an act of tyrrany here, I have seen this time and time again
I'm about at the point where I wonder if I should talk to a law enforcement official and see if I can't get some legal advice here. If not I could locate a realtor and ask about what the rights and responsibilities of tenants and landlords are on paper...
is there a mature adult way to handle this????
First you have to decide if you are co-owner or renter.
Do you pay the bank directly or pay your parents and count on them to pay the bank?
Is you name really on the deed (have you seen the original deed listed with the county/state).
The laws are different depending on the legal position of those involved.
Find out what your legal options are then make a decision as to what you want to do.
You can sell your portion to your parents and move or you can buy out your parents and stay or you can sublet and find a different home for yourself and your husband.
You do have choices but those choices depend on your legal position in regards to ownership of the home.
A lot of people who are not "rich" have help keeping the house clean because of many different circumstances.
As far as their business hiring a cleaning lady, perhaps they want their portion of the interest in the home as co-owners to be kept clean and tidy.
Have you got anything invested other than the monthly payment?
Do you have a written (enforceable) agreement to pay a portion of the mortgage?
Any agreement as to the place belonging to you once the mortgage is paid?
If not, you've been getting away pretty cheap. Consider it as if it had been rent, sell out your share to them for a token amount and go rent elsewhere.
If your mom wants to pay for a cleaning lady, let her. Let the cleaning lady do things like dusting, vacuuming and mopping. Then enjoy your free time from doing those boring chores.
My mom used to go on about the way my house looked, when my kids were younger and there always seemed to be toys everywhere (now I have a garage and all the toys and things that don't have a space just go out there and I lock the garage before she comes over ). She would tell me that CPS was going to take my kids because the house was a mess. She also went on about medications, when I broke my leg, had surgery and was on pain meds. She would call me every day about the pain meds and go on about how I was going to be addicted to drugs, I was ruining my life, etc. I took the pain meds until the pain was at a tolerable level, and then I stopped taking them, which I assume is what normal people do.
Of course you would never wish any of the unpleasantness of aging on your parents, but once they start having their own issues, they'll probably worry about your business a lot less. If you can just make it through to that point, things will get better.
The Mature adult way to handle this is to say Thank you, let the cleaning lady do her job, and sit back and enjoy the benefits for a week or so.
Seriously!
A cleaning lady would make me every happy.
And my house is not bad (no clutter and very organized). I would love to have the extra time to do fun things!
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). She would tell me that CPS was going to take my kids because the house was a mess. She also went on about medications, when I broke my leg, had surgery and was on pain meds. She would call me every day about the pain meds and go on about how I was going to be addicted to drugs, I was ruining my life, etc. I took the pain meds until the pain was at a tolerable level, and then I stopped taking them, which I assume is what normal people do. 
