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I discussed this with some friends and they said it is quite common that the service people they come in contact with in retail stores to act like robots and they take it all in stride. But the general feeling is someone like a doctor or dentist is expected to be friendly, but not a friend. If they do too much chatting it holds everyone else up and I won't be too friendly if I have to wait too long.
Yes, knowing their stuff is the most important, but it does not have to be one or the other, it can be both.
I think everyone should develop and use good social skills as a part of professional practice.
I'd rather not be chatted to death by anyone, but part of communicating and understanding the comments and diagnoses of a medical professional comes from keying into their behavior.
If someone is ice cold in dentistry, I'd take them as a potential sadist and find another immediately. Same with vets and docs.
It is especially important to me that the doctor I choose be friendly enough that I feel comfortable enough with them to tell them things I wouldn't tell most people, and that they treat me like a partner in my own health care. Likewise a dentist. We don't go out to dinner together, but if they see me as a person they're more likely to remember me when I go in for my annual exam and not just the issues as written down on the medical record but what was said about them and WHY they are a concern for me. This constitutes good medical care (and is the reason that I've had the same doctor for the last 25 years and am only looking for a new one because he's retiring - sob!).
My stylist IS a friend after 10+ years of going to her (after a long search to find someone who really understood my hair). Sometimes we'll chat - sometimes we're both not in a mood to talk - but I know that she knows my life and needs and styles my hair accordingly. Sometimes I don't know what I'll look like when she's done - I let her "play" with my hair, unless I've got an appointment shortly after in which case she'll be conservative - and she's come up with things that fit my life better than I could have done. Why? Because she's friendly and thus knows my life and can do a better job.
The same with other professionals. Thus, yes, I prefer those I do business with to be friendly for not only social reasons, but reasons of competence.
You get out of the world what you put into it. I don't expect my doctors to be all chatty, because they're on a crazy schedule, but they are always warm. Actually, anyone providing services whom I deal with tends to be very warm and friendly. The woman who does my eyebrows and I have particularly long and animated conversations.
If you run into repeated (rather than occasional) coldness, it's a safe bet that people are finding good reasons to keep you at arm's length.
It is especially important to me that the doctor I choose be friendly enough that I feel comfortable enough with them to tell them things I wouldn't tell most people, and that they treat me like a partner in my own health care. Likewise a dentist. We don't go out to dinner together, but if they see me as a person they're more likely to remember me when I go in for my annual exam and not just the issues as written down on the medical record but what was said about them and WHY they are a concern for me. This constitutes good medical care (and is the reason that I've had the same doctor for the last 25 years and am only looking for a new one because he's retiring - sob!).
My stylist IS a friend after 10+ years of going to her (after a long search to find someone who really understood my hair). Sometimes we'll chat - sometimes we're both not in a mood to talk - but I know that she knows my life and needs and styles my hair accordingly. Sometimes I don't know what I'll look like when she's done - I let her "play" with my hair, unless I've got an appointment shortly after in which case she'll be conservative - and she's come up with things that fit my life better than I could have done. Why? Because she's friendly and thus knows my life and can do a better job.
The same with other professionals. Thus, yes, I prefer those I do business with to be friendly for not only social reasons, but reasons of competence.
This. I prefer warmth for my comfort.
Not overly friendly and boundary blurring.
I had a female OB/GYN who was cold as ice. I told her NOTHING. I had to find a new OB/GYN quick because I wasn't even relaxed enough to discuss my life with her, let alone my sexual life/health.
I want them to be professional. I'd rather have someone who want into small talk and did their job correctly than somebody who is into small talk and messes up.
Honestly, I hate having to make small talk while getting my hair done.. I'd much rather sit and relax and not have to talk than be pressured into small talk. If I want to talk I can call a friend.
I prefer any professional that I pay to be professional.
If I want small talk I can get that at the grocery chekcout lane or have a conversation with my dog.
I want them to be friendly but not too chatty. I've had some friendly hairdressers who don't speak English that well and it's a strain carrying on a conversation. I had a dental hygienist who was very talkative, so much so that she ran behind schedule with her appointments. It was a relief when the dental group switched me to a periodontist who is a very nice man, friendly but no-muss, no-fuss. I'm in and out of there in 40 minutes, no waiting.
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