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I never told her to get an abortion? What would make you say that?
She's told me multiple times she didn't want the baby... I was looking for advice for which I could tell her...
I know you haven't told her to get an abortion, your post seems to insinuate you want to tell her to do that.
A close friend has 2 kids and I suggested adoption. But she did not do that and raised her kids. She sure would have done those babies a favor by having a wonderful family adopt them. They had difficult childhoods and are now young adults who struggle financially. One fathered a son at age 16 and the other is now 22 with a 4 year old and a 1 year old and is single. Their own kids were also not put up for adoption. The cycle will likely continue.
I don't agree with some of the advice here. I wouldn't say "stay out of her life" or "mind your own business." But I would say the best thing to do is to be available to her, tell her that you'll help her in any way you can, and let HER drive how much you're involved. Don't give her advice, but if she asks your opinions, help her to explore her options and let her make her own decisions.
You can be an emotional support for your friend without taking on her issues.
When we extend an offer to help, we have to be prepared, and willing, to follow through.
What if she decided to keep her baby and wants to relocate and asked to move in with you until she got her life together? Would you be willing to go that far?
Or if she said, Yes, you can help; and then asked for financial assistance...Could you, or would you help in that regard?
It's very admirable of you to want to be there for her; just be realistic about defining "help".
This is your best friend? And you have not seem her in two year.
Ok, what you should do is continued to be supportive and let me make her on decisons.
I understand, the pressure you must be feeling; but she is a big girl and will do the right thing in the end.
This is your best friend? And you have not seem her in two year.
Ok, what you should do is continued to be supportive and let me make her on decisons.
I understand, the pressure you must be feeling; but she is a big girl and will do the right thing in the end.
I was thinking they live in different states.
Friends are difficult to find and keep.
This is a real tough situation. OP seems like A good friend trying to help.
Tell her that she would be making a big mistake by raising a child she doesn't want. It's unfair to the baby. Suggest an abortion or adoption and remind her to use birth control.
A close friend has 2 kids and I suggested adoption. But she did not do that and raised her kids. She sure would have done those babies a favor by having a wonderful family adopt them. They had difficult childhoods and are now young adults who struggle financially. One fathered a son at age 16 and the other is now 22 with a 4 year old and a 1 year old and is single. Their own kids were also not put up for adoption. The cycle will likely continue.
Wow. Deja vu. I had a friend (she was a friend at the time, fairly close) and she was in that situation. She got pregnant with a 3rd child and was lamenting about it, considering abortion. I urged her to consider adoption and she said "I'm not carrying this baby for 9 months and then giving it up for adoption" as she continued to ponder killing it. She ended up having the child. I lost track after that.
Sorry about the hijack. There are many organizations that will provide a lot of support for her emotionally if she decides to choose adoption.
Don't worry the Goverment helps out singles mothers, some time young women do it on purpose to get on purpose to have kid and help out by gov and hides reporting the guy to child support
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