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My best friend of 4 years is pregnant. She's pregnant by a guy I've never met. I haven't seen my friend physically in 2 years. So, me not ever meeting her boyfriend isn't the problem. The problem is I know she really doesn't want this baby and her boyfriend is a piece of ****. I was talking on the phone with her and she was telling me she knows she's gonna have a ****ty life now. I feel so bad for her.
I already know when she has this baby her boyfriend is gonna bail. I feel like there is something I should do, me being her closest friend and wanting the best for her. What should I do? Nothing?
This girl is like a sister to me and I don't want her to go through the pains of seeing her struggle as a single mother. Plus I believe she thinks that if she has the baby that will make her boyfriend want to stay around, which most mature people know isn't true.
Please help and tell me should I do or what shouldn't I do?
The sad part is her mother is totally cool about her having this baby while knowing what kind of guy my friends boyfriend is. It's sad the single most important person who is suppose to be looking out for her is allowing her to make such a big mistake. Also, if my friend has this baby, she doesn't have the means to take care of it... So...
You can't do anything but be supporting and tell her you'll be there for her whenever she needs anything.
She made the choice to have sex with him, she has to deal with the consequences.
Don't judge or tell her about the decisions she should be making. Hopefully this will be a learning experience and a way for you to be a supportive friend.
I'm not sure what you think you might say? She is ALREADY pregnant. Are you suggesting that you would tell her to get an abortion? Well, here's some advice, it is an option that she already knows is available. If she wanted an abortion, she would have already done it. You telling her to do it (so she doesn't have the struggles of being a single mother) will make your relationship strained, as now she will always remember you as the person who thought she should kill her baby.
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185
You can't do anything but be supporting and tell her you'll be there for her whenever she needs anything.
She made the choice to have sex with him, she has to deal with the consequences.
Don't judge or tell her about the decisions she should be making. Hopefully this will be a learning experience and a way for you to be a supportive friend.
You never met him but you know he is a POS. Got it.
Her life. Mind your own business.
Well, based on the times that I've spoken on the phone with him, and based on the amount of times she's called me crying because of the things he's either said or done to her.. My guess is he is...
Mind my own business? For a friend that is like a sister to me. Please, get out.
Also, if my friend has this baby, she doesn't have the means to take care of it... So...
......so, she can give the baby up for adoption. Or her mom can step in and help since she's in favor of her having the baby. Or she can take advantage of some of the dozens of programs available to help low-income single mothers. Or maybe - just maybe - the father isn't quite the piece of poo you ass/u/me he is and he'll man up and do the right thing.
Findly's advice is the best you'll get. You're in no position whatsoever to tell her what she should do, or really even make suggestions. Just let her know that you're there for her when she needs you.
I'm not sure what you think you might say? She is ALREADY pregnant. Are you suggesting that you would tell her to get an abortion? Well, here's some advice, it is an option that she already knows is available. If she wanted an abortion, she would have already done it. You telling her to do it (so she doesn't have the struggles of being a single mother) will make your relationship strained, as now she will always remember you as the person who thought she should kill her baby.
The best and only advice you need.
I never told her to get an abortion? What would make you say that?
She's told me multiple times she didn't want the baby... I was looking for advice for which I could tell her...
Well, based on the times that I've spoken on the phone with him, and based on the amount of times she's called me crying because of the things he's either said or done to her.. My guess is he is...
Mind my own business? For a friend that is like a sister to me. Please, get out.
I find it very odd that you have not seen your best friend who is like a sister to you in 2 years.
Stay out of her life and do not suggest anything, her choice to have this guy as a boyfriend, her choice to get pregnant, her choice to keep the baby or not.
You can be a friend. A lot of people have those feelings in the beginning of a pregnancy, but tend to not know what their life would ever be like had they not had the baby.
They also tend to (hopefully) grow up.
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