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I've had someone I known use FB to post a shout out to others to send wishes that the person's lost cat would return (was discovered missing a few days prior).
Obviously, the cat's not going to use his phone, or log onto FB somewhere and see that his owner and friends who met him misses him, be touched, and return due to that, but in these cases, it seems it's the thought that counts.
Yes, very tacky. Posting her birthday on FB is fine. This person probably figures that along with those cards, monetary gifts will also be sent. It is kind of like a scam. That 90 year old woman will not be doing any shopping, but the woman would.
when a gift is not a gift...and when it doesn't matter
Quote:
Originally Posted by FeelinLow
I looked at my Facebook page the other day, which I rarely do, and saw where a friend is asking her FB buddies to please send birthday cards to her mother for her 90th birthday.
She even posts her mailing address!
I don't know. It almost feels tacky in a sense. I'm not sure how to characterize it, but it didn't seem appropriate.
What do you think? Should people request cards and gifts?
OP, it's clear you don't approve of your FB friend's request. Do you feel similarly about bridal and baby registries? If you think registries (which are essentially a list of gifts people are requesting guests buy them) are OK, then perhaps it would make sense to be OK with a simple birthday card request.
Also, if the recipient was dying, would you feel it was less of a tacky request? Just curious.
On a related note, I happen to dislike wedding registries and baby registries, as they, too, are essentially people requesting gifts -- and specific ones at that. I really don't like it when gift registry cards are included in an invitation, as that's basically saying, you're invited but we expect you to bring a gift, specifically from this list of gifts we've chosen for ourselves. But I'm rather traditional about that. I still buy a pre-approved gift from their list even though I feel this way.
I also don't like it when people's relatives hold baby and bridal showers for them, as it looks like the family is requesting people shower their family member with gifts. Again, I'm pretty traditional in that I feel baby and bridal showers, if they must be given, should be given by friends, not family. I do buy from their pre-approved list even if I don't prefer to.
Card requests would fall under a similar category. I don't feel you should ever ask for a gift, because then it's not a gift. Of course, I wouldn't say anything to the person making the request, since to criticize would be tackier than the request itself.
But really, if the woman is 90 years old and I thought it would make her day to receive all those birthday cards, I could overlook any perceptions of tackiness. I mean, it's just a card -- easy enough for me to send and brighten someone's day. You know what they say: Sometimes, it's better to be kind than to be right.
I looked at my Facebook page the other day, which I rarely do, and saw where a friend is asking her FB buddies to please send birthday cards to her mother for her 90th birthday.
She even posts her mailing address!
I don't know. It almost feels tacky in a sense. I'm not sure how to characterize it, but it didn't seem appropriate.
What do you think? Should people request cards and gifts?
She's not doing it for herself. She's doing it for her mother. She's not asking you to send a gift. She's asking you to send her elderly mother nice thoughts. Try being charitable here. Do you lie awake at night ginning up things about which to be annoyed?
And yeah, I figured this out, so I am done rambling on this thread, but it will probably drone on into infinity and beyond!
Bye bye!
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Ulterior Motive
