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If your child is old enough, you can use the process of sitting down to choose and send both the digital invitation and the digital thank you as a fun way to learn how to do these things, being social, etc.
I wish parent's would teach their children to say 'thank you'. So many times I've mailed a check or gift card to kids old enough to talk on the phone but haven't received a thank you or even an acknowledgement yet.
If they weren't closely related, I wouldn't even bother sending them anything any more.
and OP, no, that's not a thank you, but at least you got that much.
Amazing to me that people don't want to send thank you cards because they are 'obligated' to.
Why the heck don't people actually feel thankful for someone taking the time to get a gift for them or their child? What is wrong with people that they don't even have a smidgen of gratitude for that?
I think if someone doesn't actually feel thanks for other people being nice to them in any way, they have a lot bigger problems than mailing cards out.
I see a fairly huge difference then a friend or family member sending a check or a gift v. a party of wild children bringing gifts. I wish the custom to open gifts still was popular, but ... Its just not the same.
I think it is totally rude not to acknowledge a gift mailed to you. But I wouldn't be holding my breath waiting for it.
I totally agree! I think opening gifts in front the the gift giver is a great way to learn gift manners. Smile, offer a genuine thank you, even if it isn't exactly what you wanted. And the kids watching is a great way to learn that the world isn't all about them. I enjoyed watching my friends open gifts when I was little, it wasn't a hardship at all.
For my son's 4th b-day I tried to buck the trend. We only had a collection of play group friend who I knew pretty well so I decided to let him open his gifts with his friends there (and then they could all play with the new toys). I had 2 moms grab their kids, told me I was upsetting their child because now they want those toys too, and leave. I heard one woman call me tacky.
Great solution. Most kids don't need any more crap from StuffMart anyway.
Absolutely! Why can't little people be gathered together for a fun event without having to arrive with a tribute to the guest of honor? People are complaining that it's time consuming to send thank yous?? What about the time it takes mothers to buy these gifts and wrap them when will never even be acknowledged?
It isn't two minutes. It's detailing who gave the kids what while the rip open the gifts like Tasmanian Devils.
Looking up everyone's physical address.
Relocating the list of who gave what and deal with lost cards and cards fallen off.
Go to the store, buy cards and stamps.
And then fill out and send 25 of them.
Yeah, no thanks. I have great manners and I always let the parents know we appriciate their coming to the party and usually let them specifically we appriciated the gift. But it's getting more complicated as the kids are inviting school friends and I don't know their parents or addresses. Kids don't open gifts at parties anymore.
I have lots of kids, btw.
Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42
Who cares how much time it takes? As a parent, isn't it your responsibility to teach your child good manners? As a host of a party, isn't it your responsibility to ensure your guests receive a thank you for any gifts?
And, isn't it your responsibility as a parent to not allow your children to act like "Tasmanian Devils" at their birthday party?
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne
You act like it is more time and expense for you to write a thank you note than it was time and expense for the gift giver! Granted, when my kids were little and going to lots of birthday parties, I did not put hours of effort into the gift buying. But in this thread we're talking about thank you notes in general. And, in general, here us my process for gift buying:
Spending time thinking of what the recipient would love.
Spending time researching online to learn about options, reviews, prices, etc.
Driving to physical stores to see possible gifts and select wrapping paper and card.
Spend money to purchase gift, gift wrap, and card.
Wrap the gift.
Write a well-thought-out personal note inside card (I never just sign my name)
Put gift in a shipping box and tape it up.
Look up mailing address.
Drive 30 minutes each way to the nearest post office (yep, seriously).
Spend more money to mail gift.
And yes, I actually do most of those steps for every gift I buy. My nearest family is 1000 miles away, so I put a lot of thought and time into showing them how important they are to me at birthdays, etc. Sometimes I just order online, but I still prefer to have the items sent to my house, so I can wrap them and enclose my own card, before I ship them to the recipient.
So yeah, after several hours of effort and a couple hundred bucks, a thank you of some kind doesn't seem like too much to hope for.
I think that would be ideal...good luck convincing kids to go along with that. I know a family who refuses gifts and its hard for the kid (because she goes to parties and sees the gift giving) and its hard for the guests because they feel bad about it and bad for the girl
I posted on a previous thread about a friend (and other things about her) who I had given numerous presents to her children over the years and a present for her wedding with no thank you's. I got married a month ago yesterday and am in the process of writing out my thank you's a few a night at a time with a goal of getting them out at the 6-8 week mark. I was very tempted not to write the friend in question a thank you card when I came across her card last night, but I did it anyway, gritting my teeth the whole time, but I was raised to write thank you cards after each holiday and birthday ever since I was old enough to write them.
I sent out my wedding shower present thank you's 2 weeks after the shower. I have a cousin who had her shower a month after mine and she had her's out in 3 weeks but she did have a lot more than I did. Another cousins's future wife however, has not gotten anything out and her wedding shower was 3 months ago. It's all in how you were raised I think.
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