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Honey, it really is no one's business. I've been through it, too, although it's been decades. Since it's a rude, obnoxious question (even if the person asking doesn't realize that, and they usually don't), you CAN let your annoyance show. How about,"...well I guess I`ll let you know when the time comes..." (with a slightly dirty look). Unless they are totally clueless they will shut up. You don't need to swallow your feelings. Going through this is difficult enough. ((HUG)).
This falls under the same category as "when are you going to get married?" and "when are you going to buy a house?"
Best response to any nosy question is: "Why do you want to know?"
"Just curious."
"Oh." Then change the subject. You owe no one an answer of any kind.
I agree w/ Lilac110. When people start getting at a certain age to marry or have a house & they don't, people tend to start asking those questions because that's what's expected for most people to do.
How about saying, "When the time's right", then talk about something else quickly.
If they keep inquiring, then say, "I'd rather not talk about it." That will shut them right up...at least, it sure should.
I haven't been asked the baby question yet, but that's what I'd say.
Hi All. With all the holiday gatherings that are going to be coming up for me in the next few weeks, I was hoping to get some opinions/suggestions on this. I am already starting to stress.
Some background: My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years now. I have been trying to get pregnant for a while, but unfortunately it is just not happening. We do not know why. I am seeing an endocrinologist to try to find some answers. We want to start our family in the worst way and we are very upset that things are not falling into place.
With all that being said, here is the problem: I do not know what to say when family members (mostly some cousins, an aunt and a family-friend...not everybody) come up to us at family gatherings and flat out ask us "When are you having a baby", or "Why aren't you pregnant yet?"...sometimes in a room full of people. Personally, I feel this is an extremely rude and intrusive thing to ask a couple. I feel the reasons as to why a couple do or do not have a baby are a private matter and really no one else's business.
Last year when people asked me this question, I just laughed it off and said something like "eventually", because I really did not think I would have trouble getting pregnant. (Just a note: We would have liked to start trying for a baby on our honeymoon, but I had just started a new job and wanted to wait 6 months so that I would be able to qualify for maternity leave once the baby was born.)
This year, I feel we are going to be a bit more sensitive to these kinds of questions because of how sad we are that I am still not pregnant yet. Also, I do not feel like it is anyone else's business to know that I am seeing a specialist for this issue. We really do not understand ourselves why I am not getting pregnant, and I would like to know that first before letting anyone else in on what is going on. We really were hoping I would be pregnant by now and we are upset that I am not. I feel like when people ask us these questions, it is going to be hard to come up with an appropriate answer.
My question is: Has anyone else had this happen to them? What did you do/say to people? I am really looking for a nice, but direct way to let people know that I do not want to discuss it, or to please stop asking.
Thank you for any advice. Also, I am not sure if this is the correct forum for this kind of question. So, please let me know if it should be moved.
Thanks again!
Disarm them with humor:
"I can't have children--it's one of the conditions of my parole."
"I'd like a baby but I just don't know how to make one. Do you know? Could you show me?"
Say it with a straight face and you won't be asked again. I'm sorry you have to deal with people like this. I'm sure they mean well but it's mindboggling how they can be so insensitive.
Beware, when you do get pregnant you'll run into people who think you want to hear all about their neighbor's cousin's daughter's ectopic breech triplets and how difficult THAT was.
My mother in law was awful with this. We got married young and decided to wait for at least five years to start trying. Once we started trying, it took fourteen months to get pregnant. She would comment that my eggs were getting old and that she would die before her grand kids grew up and she would miss so much. I ignored her in the beginning but it became hurtful once we were actively trying to conceive. People disappoint me every day.
That is one of the most rudest questions out there.
I don't think people realize how insensitive that is, especially if the couple is trying.
Me, I pull no punches and would respond NONE OF YOUR DAM BUSINESS!!!
Good Luck
Hah! Sure, you are saying that inside, but NOT good idea to say that to...for example...the husband's granny or great-aunt. It's a good idea to keep family politics in mind.
"When the Good Lord wants me to..."
Then, "Oh look, I have call. would you excuse me?"
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