The case against interracial relationships (husband, inlaws, dynamics, brother)
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Certainty is and not one that can be easily fixed or changed.
So you see yourself, the problem doesn't lie with the married people, but with the people who won't change their old ways. This has been going on forever. I remember when I was a girl hearing my mother speak of an Irish friend who'd married an Italian man. The girl's parents were horrified at first, but finally decided he was a nice guy. Also when I was a girl, a friend told me her mother hadn't married her first love because of her parents' disapproval. The problem with the guy? He was Greek like her, but he was a Rhodian Greek. These things sound silly to us now. Worrying about interracial marriage sounds silly to most now as well. But times change, and if some people get left behind, that's the way of the world. Don't get down on your family because your parents' reaction to what they do makes things unpleasant. That's not their fault. And I highly doubt they chose their spouses to be "trendy".
I think your own views and actions have divided your family quite a bit....
You decided to distance yourself.
That was my first thought.
If my son ever decides to marry the woman he has been with for the last couple of years, I will embrace her culture. We are from Europe, she is from Asia. Totally different. I will embrace it. That is a choice I make.
If they develop new traditions, good for them. It will only enhance/enrich our lives.
Several of my family members are interracial marriages. We have Italian, Indian, Colombian, British, Chinese, Japanese, and African Americans linked into our family now.
My case against these marriages is that family tradition is now non-existent and everyone is split up and tend to the dominant spouse's race side for family gatherings.
We used to be a tight-nit family but interracial marriages has divided the family.
I spoke with my sister and another cousin and they believe that everyone in America should embrace interracial marriages. They believe if you live in America, you shouldn't marry your own race by default and you should evaluate all races.
I believe you should marry the person that suit you the best and are most comfortable with and not follow some stupid trend or ideology. You may end up with someone of a difference race which is fine but you have to be totally committed and not because you are infatuated with that race.
For this reason I have distance myself with my sister and cousin because I felt they chose a path that divided the family. My parents have a difficult time preparing meals and communicate with inlaws of different races and our own traditions creates uncomfortable moments for the inlaws too.
My uncle who has been married for 40 yrs to a Colombian woman has kept to the family traditions and maintains good relationships with his in-laws. He doesn't subscribe to the trend that interracial marriage is the new thing to do.
With all the issues that I listed and other outstanding ones, I don't think interracial marriages will ever become more popular than same race because as I described the issues that it creates. Ultimately people still maintains relationships with their own race by indirectly forcing their spouse of a difference race to participate and their children will grow up identifying themselves with that particular race than consider themselves their own unique mixed race.
Several of my family members are interracial marriages. We have Italian, Indian, Colombian, British, Chinese, Japanese, and African Americans linked into our family now.
My case against these marriages is that family tradition is now non-existent and everyone is split up and tend to the dominant spouse's race side for family gatherings.
We used to be a tight-nit family but interracial marriages has divided the family.
I spoke with my sister and another cousin and they believe that everyone in America should embrace interracial marriages. They believe if you live in America, you shouldn't marry your own race by default and you should evaluate all races.
I believe you should marry the person that suit you the best and are most comfortable with and not follow some stupid trend or ideology.
You haven't made a case against interracial marriage at all. You've been very ambiguous about it. Either one should marry "the person that suit you the best" as you've stated, or they should place other factors, like family cohesion, above that consideration. Which is it?
My uncle who has been married for 40 yrs to a Colombian woman has kept to the family traditions and maintains good relationships with his in-laws. He doesn't subscribe to the trend that interracial marriage is the new thing to do.
With all the issues that I listed and other outstanding ones, I don't think interracial marriages will ever become more popular than same race because as I described the issues that it creates. Ultimately people still maintains relationships with their own race by indirectly forcing their spouse of a difference race to participate and their children will grow up identifying themselves with that particular race than consider themselves their own unique mixed race.
I could comment on a lot of things...but I really don't get how people will maintain relationships by forcing their spouse to participate - uhmmm - in that case won't EACH spouse be FORCING participation? Or I guess the weaker one - typically female - will give in?
I think the culture in general has fewer traditions because life is changing at a faster and faster pace - even within a single generation there are huge technological changes that translate into changes of how we live our daily lives and thus change our "traditions". A thousand years ago, a century could pass with few changes of much note....now not even a decade can pass! Get used to it!
As one who is one of those "only in America" mixes, I think that families who are from different ethnic, racial and religious groups can make it work just fine. It involves both sides being open to the other side's traditions, customs and cuisines.
What I find very wrong is if someone marries into a family that is a different race, religion or ethnicity and then refuses to compromise and insists on things being done their way. Sometimes, the spouse will just cave in and allow their own traditions to be overrun. Either that, or there is friction in the marriage and it ends up in divorce, if they can't compromise.
If you marry outside your group (whatever that group may be) you need to be open to accepting the other person's traditions and customs, just as they need to be open to accepting yours.
It makes me sad to see someone who allows themselves to get swallowed up in their spouse's traditions and customs to the point where they have to bury their own identity.
For example, I once knew a man who was Mexican-American and very into cultural traditions. He married a woman who was of European Jewish descent. It was as if she all but abandoned her culture and traditions for him. He picked out the names of their kids and insisted that she become fluent in Spanish to make their kids bilingual. I have no problems with the kids being bilingual---in fact, I think it's good. What made me sad is the way it got done in this situation. While I wouldn't tell them how to live their lives, just knowing what was going on did make me sad. Why not embrace both groups?
Several of my family members are interracial marriages. We have Italian, Indian, Colombian, British, Chinese, Japanese, and African Americans linked into our family now.
My case against these marriages is that family tradition is now non-existent and everyone is split up and tend to the dominant spouse's race side for family gatherings.
We used to be a tight-nit family but interracial marriages has divided the family.
I spoke with my sister and another cousin and they believe that everyone in America should embrace interracial marriages. They believe if you live in America, you shouldn't marry your own race by default and you should evaluate all races.
I believe you should marry the person that suit you the best and are most comfortable with and not follow some stupid trend or ideology. You may end up with someone of a difference race which is fine but you have to be totally committed and not because you are infatuated with that race.
For this reason I have distance myself with my sister and cousin because I felt they chose a path that divided the family. My parents have a difficult time preparing meals and communicate with inlaws of different races and our own traditions creates uncomfortable moments for the inlaws too.
My uncle who has been married for 40 yrs to a Colombian woman has kept to the family traditions and maintains good relationships with his in-laws. He doesn't subscribe to the trend that interracial marriage is the new thing to do.
With all the issues that I listed and other outstanding ones, I don't think interracial marriages will ever become more popular than same race because as I described the issues that it creates. Ultimately people still maintains relationships with their own race by indirectly forcing their spouse of a difference race to participate and their children will grow up identifying themselves with that particular race than consider themselves their own unique mixed race.
It doesn't create issues. It's people with narrow minded viewpoints like yours who create issues.
And I hate to bust your bubble, but I'm 100% certain that neither you nor your family originate from a pedigree/lineage of people who have no other racial biological background, in their evolution throughout the human race.
You may choose to marry a woman who looks like you, and that is certainly within your rights. But dont ever think that your viewpoint, as ignorant and as simplistic as it is, is right. It takes a strong person to love someone and not care about their skin color/ethnic background as their reasoning to be in love with and want a future with that person.
I won't lie, I do kinda expect someone to bend to my cultural decisions somewhat. I'm hispanic and the way I see it, if someone wants to date someone outside of their culture then why should the person with a different culture have to bend for them? I mean, shouldn't it be the other way around? If not, that's fine..go date someone of your own culture then.
The only issue that I have had is I was speaking spanish at my mom's house and a caucasian guy that my cousin was dating had an issue with it. It's my right and I was speaking to my uncle. As far as I am concerned if someone does not like what I am saying in another language, there's the door. Don't let it hit you where the good lord split ya!
As for the food, I think its kinda rude to expect others to cook what YOU want. I have no problem bringing tamales or whatever to someone's house....just don't complain about it. I know that sounds weird to say, but you never know. The last time I brought them though one year, everyone ate them up!
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