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So you see yourself, the problem doesn't lie with the married people, but with the people who won't change their old ways. This has been going on forever. I remember when I was a girl hearing my mother speak of an Irish friend who'd married an Italian man. The girl's parents were horrified at first, but finally decided he was a nice guy. Also when I was a girl, a friend told me her mother hadn't married her first love because of her parents' disapproval. The problem with the guy? He was Greek like her, but he was a Rhodian Greek. These things sound silly to us now. Worrying about interracial marriage sounds silly to most now as well. But times change, and if some people get left behind, that's the way of the world. Don't get down on your family because your parents' reaction to what they do makes things unpleasant. That's not their fault. And I highly doubt they chose their spouses to be "trendy".
They do. My paternal grandmother felt that my father married beneath himself because my mother's family spoke Frisian and they spoke High Dutch. Mind you, none of these people were BORN in The Netherlands--their grandparents had just come from different parts of the country and spoke different dialects. Do you know what a small country The Netherlands is? Ridiculous.
Moderator cut: delete
Last edited by Miss Blue; 12-26-2014 at 06:19 AM..
Reason: unnecessary and a provoking comment for this thread
I won't lie, I do kinda expect someone to bend to my cultural decisions somewhat. I'm hispanic and the way I see it, if someone wants to date someone outside of their culture then why should the person with a different culture have to bend for them? I mean, shouldn't it be the other way around? If not, that's fine..go date someone of your own culture then.
Aren't both people of "a different culture" to each other? If not, how do you decide which one is outside of their culture? It sounds like you feel the advantage should always be to you, when actually it's a two way street. You aren't really making sense.
In my IMMEDIATE family (parents, kids, brothers, grandkids) we have white folks (of British Isles and German extraction but all branches have been in what is now the US since the late 1600s), African American, Korean, Panamanian, Italian, Czech, Puerto Rican, and I'm sure I've left something out...it's hard to keep up with it all!
We have the most beautiful bunch of grandkids you ever saw. Every color of skin, brown eyes, blue eyes, green eyes, blonde hair, jet black hair, straight hair, curly hair, you name it. We enjoy a lot of Asian influence due to our travel and the unplanned but delightful prominence of several Koreans who have joined our family over the years. We've got family from the south, the northeast and the midwest of the US. Among our immediate family members, we've lived in Japan, Germany, the UK, Panama, Korea, and Guam, not to mention all over the US.
None of this matters when we get together. We may have traditional southern cooking, or we may have pho, or we may have Korean cuisine, or Italian, or a mixture of all of them. We may go to mass, or to church, or stay home. We've incorporated all sorts of interesting traditions from all these different cultures.
Just today we had Tex Mex food for Christmas dinner. We may have traditional Korean food for Easter - who knows? Or we may have a big roast beef dinner.
It's just not been difficult for us. It's always interesting.
The key is respect for other cultures and traditions. It also helps greatly to be truly INTERESTED in those traditions, and open to exploring and experiencing them.
Who knows - you may find out that you really like something from another culture. For instance, ever since we lived in Germany, we leave all our Christmas stuff up till January 6, the feast of the Epiphany. We celebrate the meaning of that day and we enjoy incorporating all that tradition into our holiday season.
Several of my family members are interracial marriages. We have Italian, Indian, Colombian, British, Chinese, Japanese, and African Americans linked into our family now.
My case against these marriages is that family tradition is now non-existent and everyone is split up and tend to the dominant spouse's race side for family gatherings.
We used to be a tight-nit family but interracial marriages has divided the family.
I spoke with my sister and another cousin and they believe that everyone in America should embrace interracial marriages. They believe if you live in America, you shouldn't marry your own race by default and you should evaluate all races.
I believe you should marry the person that suit you the best and are most comfortable with and not follow some stupid trend or ideology. You may end up with someone of a difference race which is fine but you have to be totally committed and not because you are infatuated with that race.
For this reason I have distance myself with my sister and cousin because I felt they chose a path that divided the family. My parents have a difficult time preparing meals and communicate with inlaws of different races and our own traditions creates uncomfortable moments for the inlaws too.
My uncle who has been married for 40 yrs to a Colombian woman has kept to the family traditions and maintains good relationships with his in-laws. He doesn't subscribe to the trend that interracial marriage is the new thing to do.
With all the issues that I listed and other outstanding ones, I don't think interracial marriages will ever become more popular than same race because as I described the issues that it creates. Ultimately people still maintains relationships with their own race by indirectly forcing their spouse of a difference race to participate and their children will grow up identifying themselves with that particular race than consider themselves their own unique mixed race.
I don't understand why there has to be a case against interracial relationships. If 2 people are happy together, why does it matter if one is white and one is black/oriental/Hispanic?
You do realize that most people are attracted to a certain type of person right? If a white woman is attracted to black men, more than likely she won't find a white man to make her happy. That is her decision to make and only she can say what really makes her happy. So, as I said, if the 2 people are happy, then race won't matter.
It sounds to me like you're more worried about what happens to the family on holidays for instance than the fact that these people married somebody that was a different race. For instance, if your sisters all go to their husband's family for Christmas dinner, then who will show up at your house for dinner? Keep in mind though that even if you're talking about a white man and a white woman, each of them will have their own family traditions that they grew up with and there is a good chance, depending on how far apart the 2 families are, that they won't be able to be with both families every year.
Not sure where you are from. Welcome to the United States! We've mixed races for a few hundred years. We often refer to it as a melting pot. From what I can tell, there may be a bit of strangeness at first. After a generation or two, it becomes the norm and people start to accept it.
Where are you from? The post insinuates the U.S. has mixed races since 1714? Which would be a few hundred years. Maybe with Native Americans, but I can't remember ever reading or being taught that mixed marriages with Japanese, Italians, French, etc. were becoming the norm in those days. That is hard for me to believe.
So many people talk about changing, move forward , cultural diversity, USA is melting pot. Why are people still saying that? We are no longer that thing. We are a melt down.
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To the OP, I tend to agree with your feelings about your family holidays, get togethers and such. These last two holidays, I was depressed. I kept missing my family members who have died and remembering the fun and games we had. I guess it was nostalgia about about how things used to be. Maybe you were being nostalgic too. I don't think I could handle all the different people. Moderator cut: delete
We should be considerate of all people, even an OP. He can feel how he wants to the same anyone else.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 12-26-2014 at 06:42 AM..
Reason: Race insulting comment
This is more about culture than race. Two people of the same race may come from two totally different backgrounds, do things completely differently, and believe differently. For instance, a friend of mine attended a charismatic church, and she married a Catholic. They have had to compromise on many things. Her family is loud, boisterous, and outgoing. His family is reserved, careful to follow tradition, and easy to anger. It is not easy when they try to please them both, but this has nothing to do with race. Compromise is needed with every blending of two families.
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