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I fold my arms all the time, as it is a comfortable position for me. That's all it is. However, I hear now that it's bad etiquette to cross your arms when talking to someone. However, why is it so bad to have your arms crossed if you are smiling, laughing, and making eye contact with the other person? It's not like you are mad at them or anything. Nobody has ever said anything to me about it in person, I've just come across it online. So, is it really bad etiquette to have your arms folded when you're talking to someone if you are smiling, talking, and making eye contact with the other person? I just don't get it. I feel bad now for doing it, but I don't know if friends and family members will read that deeply into it. I am sick of the rule that says if you are talking to someone and they have their arms folded that they are pissed off at you or don't want to talk, even if they are smiling, nodding, and engaged in the conversation. I don't get why people read so deeply into the way someone has their arms positioned when they are talking to them and have it not occur to them that it could simply be for comfort.
Last edited by xxblue100; 08-12-2015 at 03:18 PM..
If you already have lots of friends and a good social life, then what you're doing is obviously working fine for you. But having said that, it's pretty well accepted that in body language, crossed arms create a closed body position that, no matter what else is going on as far as smiling, joking, etc., says, in effect, "I'm not listening."
I'm not offended when someone positions their arms this way, but I do note it. If this is a habit of yours, and you aren't happy with your social or work life, I would try to change it as whether others realize it or not, they may be unconsciously affected by this.
No problem! Who am I to know what feels comfortable to somebody else? Cold weather, rotator cuff injury... Any number of things could make it more natural for someone to fold his arms.
No problem! Who am I to know what feels comfortable to somebody else? Cold weather, rotator cuff injury... Any number of things could make it more natural for someone to fold his arms.
Btw this doesn't seem to bother any of my family members or friends. It doesn't bother me at all when someone who I'm conversing with has their arms crossed, and I think nothing of it. I read about how bad it is to fold arms online, though, and was concerned.
One more thing-if your weren't offended would you think that the person didn't want to talk to you due to their arms being folded, or would you just think it was for comfort?
I did a lot of researching about body language years ago. There are so many different postures, touches, even the way we cross our legs, touch our faces or other body parts that signify what emotion we are going through, what we are thinking. We are like our own lie detector test. What is interesting to me more than the hand folding is that I have been able to detect an ex-bf lies by his body language.
Look up clusters if you are interested (I believe that is what it is called). You go by not just one gesture or thing, it is two or three different things. However, I cannot remember if the simple things like arm crossing apply or if it is applicable to detect deceit and possibly other nasty things.
I do cross my arms and when I notice it I do it when I am talking with someone who I don't trust. It is like I am protecting myself from them.
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