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Depends, sometimes I do it, sometimes the other does it, it is an expression of emotion and could indicate disapproval, resistance, uncertainty, uneasiness, uncomfortableness, anger, tiredness, or even just a desire to end the conversation. It is totally normal and is often used as a form of nonverbal communication. If you are offended, maybe you should stop thinking about yourself and ask yourself why the other person is crossing their arms. You are probably doing something wrong.
I fold my arms all the time, as it is a comfortable position for me. That's all it is. However, I hear now that it's bad etiquette to cross your arms when talking to someone. However, why is it so bad to have your arms crossed if you are smiling, laughing, and making eye contact with the other person? It's not like you are mad at them or anything. Nobody has ever said anything to me about it in person, I've just come across it online. So, is it really bad etiquette to have your arms folded when you're talking to someone if you are smiling, talking, and making eye contact with the other person? I just don't get it. I feel bad now for doing it, but I don't know if friends and family members will read that deeply into it. I am sick of the rule that says if you are talking to someone and they have their arms folded that they are pissed off at you or don't want to talk, even if they are smiling, nodding, and engaged in the conversation. I don't get why people read so deeply into the way someone has their arms positioned when they are talking to them and have it not occur to them that it could simply be for comfort.
I do the same thing. I have long arms and I never know what to do with them! I cross my arms a lot. If the person in the chair is cold and shivering, then most people would understand why the arms are crossed. However, body language people have convinced everyone that crossed arms signifies a guarded, unreceptive person. So, for sake of clear communication, I'd make a conscious effort to NOT cross arms during a business meeting. You probably don't want to give out that signal since many business people have been taught the "correct" way to interpret crossed arms.
I fold my arms all the time, as it is a comfortable position for me. That's all it is. However, I hear now that it's bad etiquette to cross your arms when talking to someone. However, why is it so bad to have your arms crossed if you are smiling, laughing, and making eye contact with the other person? It's not like you are mad at them or anything. Nobody has ever said anything to me about it in person, I've just come across it online. So, is it really bad etiquette to have your arms folded when you're talking to someone if you are smiling, talking, and making eye contact with the other person? I just don't get it. I feel bad now for doing it, but I don't know if friends and family members will read that deeply into it. I am sick of the rule that says if you are talking to someone and they have their arms folded that they are pissed off at you or don't want to talk, even if they are smiling, nodding, and engaged in the conversation. I don't get why people read so deeply into the way someone has their arms positioned when they are talking to them and have it not occur to them that it could simply be for comfort.
I just think it's a little weird but I wouldn't think it's necessarily rejection. My first thought would be that you are a little nervous or bored and don't know what to do with your arms and hands. It would be the same as if you were playing with a pen or car keys, tapping your foot or cracking your knuckles. A little distracting but nothing I cannot get used to.
Usually rejection is expressed by not making eye contact.
Last edited by Sugah Ray; 08-12-2015 at 11:26 PM..
So every single person that I've talked to with my arms folded thinks I hate them or that I'm completely unfriendly or unapproachable? If someone is talking to me, is engaged, and is smiling/laughing, etc, I don't think to myself, "This person is closed off/hates me/is a jerk because his/her arms are folded." I don't think about it at all. I don't even notice it half the time. But so many of you on this forum think that, it is a serious cause for concern.
Again, they are NOT thinking it consciously. Most social cues are subconscious. People only know if they feel good, comfortable and relaxed when with a person, or not. If not, they won't say "oh it's because her arms are always folded", they'll say "I don't know what it is, but I just don't feel relaxed around her for some reason". Again, it's the vibe.
I read the posts, but it still pisses me off that due to the way my arms are positioned when I talk due to physical comfort (not emotional comfort, spiritual comfort or anything else), I give off the vibe that I want nothing to do with the person talking to me, even if I am smiling and talking and listening and looking at the person and nodding and standing upright. I know not every single person feels this way, but most probably do, and it is sad to me, the rule that the way you hold your arms when you talk pretty much overrides anything else about your personality.
Well, the fact that it pisses you off that you want to just be comfortable and screw what anybody else thinks, well, that's very telling in itself.
When I'm comfortable, I sit with one foot underneath me and my hands between my legs. I sure don't sit like that when I've just met someone. Don't you want to give the best of yourself the first time you meet someone?
I read the posts, but it still pisses me off that due to the way my arms are positioned when I talk due to physical comfort (not emotional comfort, spiritual comfort or anything else), I give off the vibe that I want nothing to do with the person talking to me, even if I am smiling and talking and listening and looking at the person and nodding and standing upright. I know not every single person feels this way, but most probably do, and it is sad to me, the rule that the way you hold your arms when you talk pretty much overrides anything else about your personality.
All of this from something you read online? Good grief. If you're happy with you interactions with people, forget about the article.
Am I offended if a person has their arms folded during a conversation? Of course not! I have bigger things to worry about. If they're standing there with a disapproving look on their face or yelling, yeah - but that has nothing to do with crossing their arms.
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