She stays with a toxic man and I do not care to listen anymore!

[Stagemomma]

Is this guy a jerk to her in your presence? If so I would call him on it. Non confrontational, nothing combative, but say something like "ouch, that's a mean thing to say' or 'You're crazy, she's a foxy grandma!". If he's ordering her around, jump up and act surprised that he would consider not doing it himself and offer to help her with it. You know, passive aggressive style, so you can show him how you expect people in your family to be treated!

You can make a joke of it and still get the message across that you are listening and he is accountable. It might make him think a bit before bullying.

[cindersslipper]

Op, your MIL obviously LOVES the guy.

There's no amount of reasoning effective in that case.

Tell your husband to get her to quit bitching about him, and move on.

Its actually only Your Problem if you let it be.

You don't have to spend hours in your MIL space do you? Short visits make happy families.

[TFW46]

Be careful about being a long-term listening ear.

My sister is married to a control freak. For about 18 months she sent me unsolicited emails, 5-6 times a day, complaining about his behavior and saying how she was afraid of him. I suggested, many times, that she go to counseling since she said he refused to go. And, due to her complaints, I lost sleep many nights worrying about what he might do to her.

Then she decided to work at making a go of the marriage (for financial reasons -- he changed his will to include her and she'll inherit a lot of money). To make things easy for herself, she lied to him and said that I had instigated all her bad feelings about him. As a result, we're estranged and I cant see my ever having a relationship with her again.