Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
..and that was after they gave me the impression that it was okay by offering to remake the things I didn't like. My reasoning was that if they were willing to remake an off-the-wall concoction that I made up by requesting they put a vegetable in the chocolate instead of a fruit (the resulting smoothie tasted like coffee,) they would be willing to replace a smoothie that they apparently messed up, because it had an aftertaste like cough syrup.
So stop requesting off-the-wall concoctions. Vegetables and chocolate sounds disgusting, and I gather it was. What made you think it might be good?
Go with the standard tried and trues. Try a strawberry banana smoothie.
Do not be sidetracked by that very irrelevant sidebar. This thread is not about Southern hospitality. The store manager could have been from California or New Jersey for all you know.
There are two relevant points here:
1) You apparently unknowingly took advantage of a fairly common retail policy.
2) The store manager (maybe?) could have handled it more nicely.
Either way, we really have no way to tell what the situation was really like since we weren't there. No offense, but you aren't the most reliable source, since you don't understand things that most people get easily.
You are beginning to ruminate on this and need to find a way to move on.
I'm just trying to figure out:
1) Do I owe her an apology? They were nice to me at first, and maybe the store manager was just having a bad day? I feel strangely guilty, but maybe it's just because someone "yelled" at me.
2) Does she owe me an apology? If that's the case, I have a right to be just a little angry, I think.
3) Are we even? If that's the case, I can stop worrying about it, right?
When this first happened, I felt like calling in a complaint on that particular store to corporate, but after I thought about it, I figured that was overreacting. The store manager might have been having a bad day, or, as many people on this thread have expressed, she might have believed she genuinely had a reason to be angry. If that's the case, maybe I'm the one who owes her an apology and shouldn't just leave and never come back, unless that's what this store wants. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but I do want to break this habit I have of thinking people's negative opinions are set in stone. It really makes apologizing difficult for me. I mean, what good is it to apologize for a wrong if people aren't going to change their opinion of you for it? I suspect in some cases, apologizing can even make things worse.
So stop requesting off-the-wall concoctions. Vegetables and chocolate sounds disgusting, and I gather it was. What made you think it might be good?
Go with the standard tried and trues. Try a strawberry banana smoothie.
The strawberry banana smoothie is okay, but I really liked the one with coconut in it; however, they no longer have that one. I've been trying new flavors ever since they took that one off of the menu.
The vegetable chocolate smoothie was the first time I realized they would actually make something that didn't taste good. I guess there are no restrictions on the ingredients they are allowed to combine, and that one got me. I don't think Starbucks will make a nasty drink, even if it's requested, but this smoothie shop apparently will. I didn't really know how it would taste, because I've tried some odd flavor combinations that were surprisingly good, like:
carrot juice, kale, and unrefined sugar
kale, apple juice, and almonds
peanut butter and banana almond smoothie (without the peanut butter)
some flavor smoothie with wheat grass shots
carrots and ice cream (well, it was a little like sherbet)
chili, sugar, and cocoa
I kind of want a smoothie just thinking about these, and I wonder if I could ever make some of these at home.
The ones I HATED and sent back, though, were:
The peanut butter smoothie with half peanut butter (I couldn't taste any of the other ingredients, and this is after I ordered this flavor before, so I'm thinking the person who made it messed up.)
The chocolate banana smoothie with carrots substituted for the banana (there was no sweetness to it; it tasted like coffee)
The raspberry smoothie straight off of the menu. (It was tart, but that was okay. My main problem was that it had an aftertaste like cherry cough syrup.)
1) Do I owe her an apology? They were nice to me at first, and maybe the store manager was just having a bad day? I feel strangely guilty, but maybe it's just because someone "yelled" at me.
2) Does she owe me an apology? If that's the case, I have a right to be just a little angry, I think.
3) Are we even? If that's the case, I can stop worrying about it, right?
When this first happened, I felt like calling in a complaint on that particular store to corporate, but after I thought about it, I figured that was overreacting. The store manager might have been having a bad day, or, as many people on this thread have expressed, she might have believed she genuinely had a reason to be angry. If that's the case, maybe I'm the one who owes her an apology and shouldn't just leave and never come back, unless that's what this store wants. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but I do want to break this habit I have of thinking people's negative opinions are set in stone. It really makes apologizing difficult for me. I mean, what good is it to apologize for a wrong if people aren't going to change their opinion of you for it? I suspect in some cases, apologizing can even make things worse.
LET IT GO!!!!!! MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE! It's a freaking smoothie! We're not talking about having an illness like cancer and being denied life saving medication.
Go listen to that annoying, dreadful Frozen song.....maybe if you listen to it enough, you'll Let It Go!
Do not be sidetracked by that very irrelevant sidebar. This thread is not about Southern hospitality. The store manager could have been from California or New Jersey for all you know.
There are two relevant points here:
1) You apparently unknowingly took advantage of a fairly common retail policy.
2) The store manager (maybe?) could have handled it more nicely.
Either way, we really have no way to tell what the situation was really like since we weren't there. No one can change the way she responded to you. No offense, but you aren't the most reliable source anyway, since you don't understand things that most people get easily.
You are beginning to ruminate on this and need to find a way to move on.
Idk if this goes along with Asperger. But OP may also be a HSP. Highly Sensitive Person. Because it's clear this interaction really got to her. Everyone is scolded, called out, or had a confrontational run in with someone. But many shrug it off and move on easily. Others it gets to, to an unhealthy level.
I am an HSP myself. And I may have Asp. Idk. Never been tested, My mother thinks I may have it. Sometimes things happen to me, they get me down and a focus on it longer than I should if I found it embarrassing. Some things that have happened to me 10 years ago, I am still embarrassed about. And an incident back in Aug that I was upset about for weeks. Even though it was a short 10 sec thing. Eventually I get past it, but still slight embarrassment if it comes back to me. But I push it out of my head and focus on something else.
But I don't know if there's any treatments for being a HSP. But yes, OP, you should really look into getting assistance with your A.
My best friend's daughter has Asperger's and this is the kind of conversation she has about everything. Everything outside her routine causes a meltdown. The girl strives for acceptance constantly from everyone even if she has gone to extreme and desperate lengths to obtain it. She harps on minute details and can't grasp the larger picture and she can not see outside herself well enough to feel or think about other's perspectives. She has a hard time making friends.
OP, you are not an isolated individual honey. Lot's of people have this same issue. What you need, no, what you must do is STOP RIGHT NOW. We can't make you understand that a smoothie is not important or that you have not been violated. I don't think you can do that. What you CAN do is change direction for a while until the matter has had time to settle in your mind. I bet you change your order up in an effort to widen your environment a little because my friend's daughter's issues have caused her to have a limited range of experiences and things to talk about with people, making communication even harder. She looks out at the world and sees so much and understands only a fraction of it so she communicates with people with what she has and then she has the anxiety of rejection and mockery. It's really hard to be sitting in a group and watching one person want to be in the mix and not know how. She get's frustrated and makes a fool of herself sometimes. It's no laughing matter at all and I'm not trying to put you on blast, I really feel for you.
DO something ELSE. Go look at puppies, draw or change the brakes on your car. Change gears before you further upset yourself. It will solve nothing right now because you are hyper focused.
Then, maybe in a few weeks after you've had some time to get over the WHOLE thing. GO to the smoothie place and simply tell the manager you are sorry for the incident; you have asperger's and sometimes things get overwhelming or confusing. If the manager says nothing, then don't go back. I would say something because you have no reason to hide, it's good to put yourself out there for who you are and it will show them that you're not intentionally trying to do something wrong. Take care.
3) Are we even? If that's the case, I can stop worrying about it, right?
Let's call it even.
As you are learning, there are different types of relationships.
In this "relationship," you aren't friends. The rules that would apply to friendships don't apply here. Whether or not the workers there have a negative opinion of you really doesn't matter. That's why you need to let it go and stop worrying about it.
You are a customer, and they run a business. They were being nice to you because that is part of customer service.
As a customer, not a friend, you (unknowingly) violated the customer/business relationship, and the manager let you know that. Could she have done it in a nicer way? Possibly. We don't know how it went down.
As an adult, it stings to get corrected, but it happens and we learn from it. A traffic ticket is a correction, but it's an easier correction to learn from than a traffic accident.
Learn from this and STOP taking it personally. They were not your friends. Whether or not they had a negative opinion of you is not the point.
As people have said, it's a smoothie, move on. You are expecting way too much from people who work in a smoothie shop. Actually, you are putting way too much thought and time into smoothies in general. The manager was off the wall rude and that was not good customer service or any customer service. If they didn't want to make weird combinations and remake drinks they could have politely told you so. So you got bad customer service at a smoothie shop. If you write to corporate, they'll probably give you a free gift card or at least refund your smoothie money or something. I don't think it would be an over-reaction to send them an email. I do think spending days thinking and posting about the stupid smoothie online is an over-reaction.
Having said all that, I don't think we really have the whole story here. We know that you have issues interpreting people's attitudes, and I suspect you have been making unreasonable demands of the smoothie people for a while and simply not realizing how annoyed they were. They, on the other hand, don't realize that you didn't notice, and think you're just really demanding or weird for continuing to make those demands. I'm not saying the manager wasn't rude and unprofessional, just that it was probably building up for a while but you were unaware of the reaction the smoothie people were having to you; either the requests or the way you were making them. Again, not saying you're wrong, just that possibly they weren't really willing to do all that stuff in the past, and you just didn't realize that, or that maybe there were some red flags on this particular day that you didn't notice.
It is definitely even. Honestly, I only apologize to people the moment I realize I did something wrong. If I do something to upset another person unknowingly and they lash out at me, I wouldn't apologize. However, I often do say, "Thanks for letting me know."
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
