How to handle this girl? (person, narcissistic, conversation, insecure)
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I met this girl through mutual friends. Initially she struck me as very attention-seeking, and I got a bad gut feeling about her, so I kept my distance. She noticed this and really tried to work me. She would give me things, like food, offer to buy me things, and just buttered me up in general. I passed it off as insecurity and I gave her the benefit of the doubt, because she was being so generous and really seemed to want to be my friend.
As I let her closer, she started to be very needy with me. If she was talking to someone else, she'd talk or laugh very loudly and then I'd see her looking over at me to see if I was paying attention. She also started to imply that she was a "very important person" in my life, even though we'd known each other for a very short time. It was just over the top, and it felt uncomfortable.
Now it's to the point where she is trying to almost mother me....or something. It's like she wants to believe that I "need" her, when I absolutely do not, I'm perfectly self-sufficient and do NOT act needy with her in any way. It's the other way around. She is also very sensitive, and I'm to the point where I'm going to tell her to back off, but I know it's really going to hurt her feelings. I'm willing to do it, though.
Two words: stay away! You're dealing with a very narcissistic woman who is self-serving and clingy.
It's true. I can deal with someone who is insecure, but not someone who manipulates and has no boundaries. Tonight we were out with mutual friends (group setting) and when I was leaving, I hugged everyone and she said, "Hey, you gave a bigger hug to them and not me!" And she was serious. She got a sad, pouty look on her face. She's in her 30s.
Yeah, I'd cut her loose. This is difficult for many people to do, as they seem to have this inexplicable need to please and be cordial to people they don't even like, but I get the impression from some of your past posts that you'd have no problem removing this weird young woman from your life and you'd feel no need to sugarcoat it.
I'd advise you do so immediately, and don't look back.
I met this girl through mutual friends. Initially she struck me as very attention-seeking, and I got a bad gut feeling about her, so I kept my distance.
It's time to cut ties to her. You can try to be polite, and just explain that the relationship isn't working for you anymore, but be forceful enough that she gets the message loud & clear. If that doesn't seem to work, then be blunt and let her know that her behavior is very upsetting to you. Like another poster said above, "it's not you, it's me".
Do it as soon as possible - the longer you wait, the more difficult it might be.
I could give you a whole long dissertation about easing away on account of work, family, school, or other obligations. Emphasize that you've got other priorities in your life rather than a serious relationship.
But she is not going to 'buy' any of it.
And any serious discussion about how you are not comfortable with her behaviour is going to end... badly.
This is one of those type of people that however you can got away from them, and they stayed gone: That was a good way of evacuating yourself.
Ghost. Or better yet, progressively distance yourself drastically. Fade out. Emotionally and physically distance yourself. Be simply: Unavailable to her.
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