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I kid you not my brother and his wife got sent a bill in the mail from her sister (my brothers sister in law) asking for 75.00 per couple for the cost of their dads wake service . I was floored . My brother told me that she only served cheese and crackers and some canned sodas . He sent me a copy of the bill and it was worded to say the following " Hello , as you know we all attended so and so s wake service and it was not cheap to hold such a life celebration in my church' s hall , so there fore I'm sure you all will want to make your donation of 75.00 as well " , just send a check made out to me so that I can pay the bill for this event . No one even knew of the plans until an email showed up and she never mentioned one word of having to pay for the hall or anything else . I cannot believe the nerve of this woman . Is this common practice now to ask your relatives to help you pay for everything instead of letting them know in advance that they will be expected to help pay for family events ? Just curious if this is common practice now . I think it is extremely rude and bad manners . What say the rest of you ?
Definitely bad manners. I'm inclined to believe she's looking to gyp people because 75 dollars sounds like a lot-- unless this is a real small family? As it is, the cost should have been first run by everyone and that others should have a chance to have an input (noticed that she specified "my" church).
$75 from each of the children of the man who died isn't a huge amount. It should have been discussed before the arrangements were made, but we took everyone out to eat after my FIL's funeral and $75 would have been a bargain for that!
Maybe the sister-in-law could be reimbursed from her father's estate, if he left any money behind?
I don't think it's worded very nicely, but I also can't imagine expecting one sister to host the wake and pay the whole bill. Was your sister-in-law really not going to chip in for her own father's funeral?
I don't think it's worded very nicely, but I also can't imagine expecting one sister to host the wake and pay the whole bill. Was your sister-in-law really not going to chip in for her own father's funeral?
Yeah, in my experience one sibling typically does not pay for it all.
I kid you not my brother and his wife got sent a bill in the mail from her sister (my brothers sister in law) asking for 75.00 per couple for the cost of their dads wake service . I was floored . My brother told me that she only served cheese and crackers and some canned sodas . He sent me a copy of the bill and it was worded to say the following " Hello , as you know we all attended so and so s wake service and it was not cheap to hold such a life celebration in my church' s hall , so there fore I'm sure you all will want to make your donation of 75.00 as well " , just send a check made out to me so that I can pay the bill for this event . No one even knew of the plans until an email showed up and she never mentioned one word of having to pay for the hall or anything else . I cannot believe the nerve of this woman . Is this common practice now to ask your relatives to help you pay for everything instead of letting them know in advance that they will be expected to help pay for family events ? Just curious if this is common practice now . I think it is extremely rude and bad manners . What say the rest of you ?
The church hall should have been free because it was her relative. Or does she not go to church there?
In any case, I would never bill my relatives for this.
Typically, sibling chip in on these costs or the cost is taken out of the estate. It was clumsily done, but people get weird when a parent dies. Did the other siblings have no part in the planning by choice or were they deliberately excluded?
This just seems like an odd situation. Moreover, my grandmother's wake at a local restaurant some 5 years ago was something like $17 per plate.
Really, you the siblings should be told what the total cost of the wake was, and contribute what they can - likely more than $75.
The sister was out of line in how she went about this, but honestly, my whole family went nuts when my grandmother died. So this would have been a blip on the screen.
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