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I had a friend who used to say "you can unload anything on me because as soon as you're through, I flush it. I don't keep in in. It just goes in one ear and out the other". I sometimes do this with my sister. I let her go on - and she can go on and on and on for literally HOURS. But then at the end she says something like "I love our talks". I think she needs someone to listen to her. I don't call her often.
I'm very sorry you are going through this. I can see your side of things and your mothers. She really does need to talk to someone, but that someone shouldn't be you.
Another poster said to just say, I'm sorry mom that you are in this situation but I'm not the right one to talk to about all this.
I think that's a good idea. Be sympathetic but don't be the one she dumps on. Tell her she needs to talk to a counselor. Maybe if you are willing tell her you will only talk to her about the situation if she's seeing a counselor. And even then, keep it short. Hopefully talking to someone professional will get the need to talk out of her while at the same time sparing you from having to cope with her problems on top of yours.
Good luck and good luck with the job search. I know it's off topic but if you don't mind answering what are you looking for job wise? What industry?
Okay CD. Basically, my mother and my stepfather are about to separate and I want NO part of the drama. My mother keeps trying to talk to me about their drama even though I've said on multiple occasions I want no part of their drama since I know from past experiences that divorces get ugly fast for ANYONE involved and it is hard enough trying to get somewhere as a millennial in the job market. Am I wrong for not wanting to deal with the fallout aside from IF mom is in a desperate situation which very little chance of that happening? I'm just not apt to be an emotional tampon.
It's okay to listen. Unless your stepfather is smacking your mother around, it's definitely not okay to take sides.
And, if your mother goes on and on and on, it's also okay to say, "I'm really done, Mom. Move on."
Unless your stepfather raised you and/or you have a close relationship with him, I think you need to support your Mom. You are her son. Unless, of course, she is really behaving badly toward your stepfather.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by forum_browser
Unless your stepfather raised you and/or you have a close relationship with him, I think you need to support your Mom. You are her son. Unless, of course, she is really behaving badly toward your stepfather.
I think that is why I REALLY want to stay out of this. She has not had the best behavior in this matter. I don't want to be the one to say your behavior has not been correct nor perfect.
That makes things really rough. All you can do in that case is tell her you'd like to be able to be supportive of her but that as her son, you simply don't feel comfortable knowing the intimate details of her marriage. And change the subject when she starts oversharing.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I've reached my limit on this BS. She called me five times last night within an hour while I was trying to watch the Super Bowl at a party. She wants me to do a favor involving them, which she could have just texted me to do or called me at any other time when my team wasn't playing for a world championship. I agreed to it, then she starts into her moaning session which I finally grew a pair a cut short. It is getting to the point where I'm literally considering blocking voice calls from her. My patience has run out. I'm starting to think he is the sane one driven insane. Completely fed up.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,771,805 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
You have to take control of the situation and let calls go to voicemail. Speak to her at your convenience, not hers.
I let the first four go to VM, on the fifth I picked up out of submission in hope of turning the heat off. If she gets at this again, she will be blocked for a few days.
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I don't call her often. 
