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I'd be willing to bet you're overthinking it. Did things get weird after the pause? If not, she probably didn't even notice.
This exactly.
I still think the OP needs to begin enacting a birth month approach. Why settle for one day when you can have 30 days of fun? If you have a birth month, unusual or weird things that happen on the exact birth day don't mean much, if anything, to you - heck, you won't even pause awkwardly!
I'd totally worry that a friend that I didn't want to do the wedding thing because my *pause* may have made it sound that way.
I would tell my friend that I was worried my pause at the time sounded like I was unenthusiastic. It was just there was something about the date that caught your attention, but it wasn't anything that mattered. You just needed a moment to figure it all out and you are super excited.
I *almost* agree with this. I'd say I would tell my friend all that, but only if the friend brought it up first.
How would you go about bringing this up otherwise? "Hey, Friend, remember when you asked me to be in your wedding and I hesitated? Well, I only hesitated because it's my birthday that day and...."
So, my best friend from college (who happens to be the opposite gender, and was almost a romantic interest, but that's another thing and also very over) is getting married soon, and I'm very excited for her. The weird issue is that she's scheduled the date on my birthday. Now, we're close enough friends that she didn't do it on purpose, but the date is set and I'll likely be part of the ceremony in some way. And it isn't an issue for me, because "it's just a day", but when she told me about it, I involuntarily hesitated. Which probably came off weird. But I didn't say anything because I didn't want it to be a big deal, especially since the date has already been set.
I'm just curious what your opinions on the situation are. Should I bring it up casually (knowing that she'd feel really bad about it) or just let it slide?
Bring what up? The fact that you were born? I think that is established already and I doubt the wedding date was set on your birthday to secretely let you know you are special. I would guess that is the only day available for them, the church and the venue.
Besides you stated above *it's just a day* so what exactly would be the point of you mentioning that day is your birthday? I suppose it would be different for the entire wedding party and guests to sing happy birthday to you at the reception....
If you guys are truly bffl, a pause wouldn't be a big deal.
If you guys are really bffl, she would be comfortable enough to ask you why you paused.
If you guys are seriously bffl, you are comfortable enough with her if she had an issue with you pausing, she'll bring it up to you.
You are feeling insecure about this pause, which makes it seem like you are the one who is putting a meaning behind it. Maybe there is a bigger issue behind it than you actually think. If it didn't mean anything at all, then you wouldn't overthink it too much to a point that you're asking strangers about it. People pause to think. It's normal.
I'm close enough to my friends that I can bring up something I did that may have seemed odd, and explain.
I don't think our friendships would have lasted if we couldn't communicate openly with each other.
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Seriously? Your best friend should feel badly for scheduling her wedding on your birthday?
NO, you should not bring it up. You might want to consider growing up instead. There is no reason why any birthday celebration of yours can't be postponed a couple of days.
You do realize that it is a heck of a lot harder to get all the necessary ducks in a row for a wedding, don't you?
Exactly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21
Don't be too hard on the OP. I remember my birthday being much more important when I was younger. I was a little pouty (not outwardly) once in my early twenties when I had to spend my birthday at the funeral of someone I had only met once. I was so used to the day being all about me. Of course, this changes with age.
No, not for all. I know someone who is well into their 50s who didn't attend a wedding because it was on their birthday. Ironically their friend's mom died suddenly and the funeral ended up being on their birthday.....they didn't go to the funeral either.
Funeral was in the morning, they were going to dinner that evening for their birthday, so it was quite doable, still didn't go. They didn't want anything that was a "downer" on their day, the heck with the poor friend who just lost her mom unexpectedly.
So, no it doesn't always change with age for the "all about me" types.
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But I can't change it now. I didn't want all this.
