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Old 02-09-2016, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Saginaw, MI
77 posts, read 71,631 times
Reputation: 60

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So, my best friend from college (who happens to be the opposite gender, and was almost a romantic interest, but that's another thing and also very over) is getting married soon, and I'm very excited for her. The weird issue is that she's scheduled the date on my birthday. Now, we're close enough friends that she didn't do it on purpose, but the date is set and I'll likely be part of the ceremony in some way. And it isn't an issue for me, because "it's just a day", but when she told me about it, I involuntarily hesitated. Which probably came off weird. But I didn't say anything because I didn't want it to be a big deal, especially since the date has already been set.

I'm just curious what your opinions on the situation are. Should I bring it up casually (knowing that she'd feel really bad about it) or just let it slide?
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Old 02-09-2016, 08:29 AM
 
13,980 posts, read 25,939,932 times
Reputation: 39909
Seriously? Your best friend should feel badly for scheduling her wedding on your birthday?

NO, you should not bring it up. You might want to consider growing up instead. There is no reason why any birthday celebration of yours can't be postponed a couple of days.

You do realize that it is a heck of a lot harder to get all the necessary ducks in a row for a wedding, don't you?
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Old 02-09-2016, 08:32 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,563 posts, read 47,614,734 times
Reputation: 48158
This should not even be an issue.

Why do you even WANT to bring it up?
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Old 02-09-2016, 08:33 AM
 
Location: Saginaw, MI
77 posts, read 71,631 times
Reputation: 60
Woah ok, let me clear something up really quick. My plan was to say nothing. I was just curious what others thought.

And as far as I'm concerned, my only error is was the involuntary pause when she told me. Even though it was merely a side effect of "hey that date'll be easy to remember!" and "I hope I can make it home then". But may have come across as hesitation.
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Old 02-09-2016, 08:36 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,563 posts, read 47,614,734 times
Reputation: 48158
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrumPockets View Post
I thought I acknowledged that.
No, you did not say why you would bring up that it is your birthday...
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Old 02-09-2016, 08:36 AM
 
3,393 posts, read 4,009,690 times
Reputation: 9310
Don't be too hard on the OP. I remember my birthday being much more important when I was younger. I was a little pouty (not outwardly) once in my early twenties when I had to spend my birthday at the funeral of someone I had only met once. I was so used to the day being all about me. Of course, this changes with age.
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Old 02-09-2016, 08:37 AM
 
4,510 posts, read 5,048,411 times
Reputation: 13403
I wouldn't bring it up, or think about it, you'll have a birthday again and I'll bet your friend will have a wedding again.
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Old 02-09-2016, 08:38 AM
 
2,451 posts, read 3,212,669 times
Reputation: 4313
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrumPockets View Post
So, my best friend from college (who happens to be the opposite gender, and was almost a romantic interest, but that's another thing and also very over) is getting married soon, and I'm very excited for her. The weird issue is that she's scheduled the date on my birthday. Now, we're close enough friends that she didn't do it on purpose, but the date is set and I'll likely be part of the ceremony in some way. And it isn't an issue for me, because "it's just a day", but when she told me about it, I involuntarily hesitated. Which probably came off weird. But I didn't say anything because I didn't want it to be a big deal, especially since the date has already been set.

I'm just curious what your opinions on the situation are. Should I bring it up casually (knowing that she'd feel really bad about it) or just let it slide?
Tell her you forgive her for the scheduling gaffe and suggest she put birthday candles on the groom's cake for you. That will take care of the situation.
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Old 02-09-2016, 08:40 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,682,985 times
Reputation: 42769
Let it go. You may feel a little self-conscious but don't say anything. If she finds out, just laugh and tell her not to worry about it. My birthday is on Halloween and I have kids, so there is ALWAYS something else going on that day. Your friend will have a million things on her mind; don't add to her stress by making her worry about hurting your feelings. It wasn't personal, and like you said, she doesn't even know it's the same day. Finding the right day is tough anyway. Let it go.
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Old 02-09-2016, 08:45 AM
 
16,715 posts, read 19,400,390 times
Reputation: 41487
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrumPockets View Post
Should I bring it up casually (knowing that she'd feel really bad about it) or just let it slide?

Oh for Pete's sake. Why in the world would you bring it up? Do you need a hug or something? It ain't about you, okay? It's about what was the best day for her and her fiancé.


And why would she feel bad, if you're so close that you might be part of the wedding?


Dude. She's moved on. You need to back off.
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